How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Lead with Fearless Confidence as a Woman Director, VP or Executive

Lucy (00:00)
Welcome back to the Lucy Gernon Show. So today I want to talk to you about that little inner critic voice in your head. You know the one. The one that tells you that you’re not good enough, that you’re not ready. The voice that tells you that everyone else knows more than you. The voice that replays conversations at 2 a.m. The voice that makes you question yourself despite years of experience and success when the stakes are high. And we call it the inner critic.

And if you’re a woman in senior corporate leadership, there is a good chance that that voice is still costing you more than you realize. So I want to start today’s episode with a little personal story, as always. But before I do, I just want to say I have really, really enjoyed recording this season for you because confidence is something that is so important to me. I’ll explain a little bit more about why it is in a minute. But I just want to say thank you so much for being on this journey with me, for having me in your ear pods and

You know, if you haven’t already subscribed on YouTube and you’re watching it, please just hit subscribe because I really do need to put more of an effort into growing this channel. And if you are listening to this in your podcast app, just subscribe to it. But even more than that, if you have access to other women in your organization who would benefit from this podcast, I have a couple of hundred episodes there in a back catalogue with so much gold in there. Please, please share it with your women’s network. Share it in your Yammer groups, in your Teams groups, whatever that is.

And just help me to get more women to listen to this show because I want more women in leadership to know that you’re not alone. And it is time that we all rose together and supported one another. Because honestly, the world is going backwards right now when it comes to women in senior leadership, and we just can’t have that. And when more women have the tools to set boundaries, to believe in yourselves, to take care of yourselves, all of the stuff that I do with the women that I work with and that I talk about on the show.

That is how together we will change the world and have a brighter future for the women and the children that are looking up to us. So that’s my invitation for you. Please share the show, give it a little review, I’d be forever grateful.

So, now today I want to get into the episode. So, let me set the scene with a personal story. Last year I was diagnosed with ADHD, and while that diagnosis brought about huge relief.

It also like it was a bit of a devastating moment because it made me reflect on something else. I remember sitting in the car after I got the diagnosis and I cried my eyes out and I’ve spoken to other women. So if you are neurodivergent, you’ll know what I mean. It’s being told that you have a neurodivergence when it is not something that I was certainly not expecting it, even though in hindsight I’m like, it’s so obvious I have ADHD.

it was it was a bit of an identity shift for me and it was a relief at the same time. But the reflection for me was for decades, for my whole life, I didn’t feel good enough and I questioned myself. I wondered why certain things felt harder, like why I couldn’t sit still, why I found it so difficult to focus and to pay attention, why I was clumsy, like all of these things that I would have been told as a child that stayed with me.

And somehow it always made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Like I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t organized enough. I wasn’t disciplined enough. I wasn’t whatever enough. And looking back now, I realize how much energy I spent fighting myself instead of trusting myself. And I know so many other women are doing exactly the same thing too.

So whether you are neurodivergent or you’re neurotypical and you’re a totally normal person or you’re a bit of a crazy girl like me, it really, really doesn’t matter. But all of us have this need to protect ourselves. And as a result, sometimes we do not trust ourselves. And one of my clients in 360 described it perfectly. She shared this lady was a VP in a multinational, no, she wasn’t a multinational, she was a VP in a scaling organization.

And she looked really confident on the outside. She was in a senior leadership role. She was at a vice president level. She had a really, really strong record of track record of results. She was respected by her colleagues, but internally she was constantly criticizing herself. She was beating herself up. She was shrinking in rooms when she was with the CEO. No achievement ever really felt enough.

And no success. The one that she swore when she achieved this thing would make her feel fulfilled. It never lasted. And it was totally exhausting. And so, if this sounds like you, I want you to know that you’re not alone. And today we’re going to get into how you can begin to silence that inner critic so that you can begin to really lead with fearless confidence, so that you achieve your potential and can build a life.

Filled with success, balance, and happiness where anything is possible. So, first we’ve got to get back into this around how do you know when your inner critic has shown up and is ruling the show or whether it is what I like to call the real you. And the real you is that part of yourself that that spiritual part, that wise part of yourself. It is the essence of who you are. It’s what makes you you and what makes you unique. And usually that voice whispers.

It’s usually that little voice inside that for some of us has been so far buried for so long, like mine was, until I finally believed in myself and knew it was okay to let it out. And you will know that you, your inner critic, has shown up and taken over. When, as we’ve been talking about in previous episodes, you are second-guessing decisions, you’re constantly ruminating in your mind, you’re replaying meetings, you are focusing on

Always on what went wrong, and you’re beating yourself up with a stick. You probably dismiss compliments, and you move the goalposts every time you achieve something. You might say it’s your organization, but really there’s no achievement out there that’s going to make you feel worthy unless you do the work. And you probably assume that everyone else has it all figured out. So if any of this has sounds

Wildly familiar to you. I need you to know that you’re not alone and that your inner critic is not real. It is a story it’s a whole thing that I do all this mindset training in 360 on. But it is not you. And once you realize that you are not the negative voices in your head, that is when the game will change. That is when you’re going to lead authentically. That is when you’re going to love who you are, warts and all. That is when opportunities

Are you going to open up for you because you will attract the right ones, because you will have built a personal brand and an executive presence that is magnetic to the right opportunities. And this really matters because leadership requires you to have certainty. It requires you to trust yourself. And when your inner critic is running the show, first of all, other people can sense it.

Other people can sense it. Energy just doesn’t lie. So do not fool yourself into thinking that you look okay. You might, but there are people who really people can see through it, right? People can absolutely see through it. And when your inner critic is running the show, you become hesitant and you might find yourself holding back, or worse, you could even be explosive and get too frustrated because it’s your way of defending yourself, right? And either way is not good.

Because nobody likes volatility, right? In a leader. Or equally, nobody likes when leaders shrink in the face of dominance. Because you need to be able to learn to hold your energy in these situations. And there are tools and methods that you can do, but it’s it’s work, right? And you might even be playing smaller than your potential. In fact, I can guarantee you 95% of you listen to this show.

Or nowhere near your potential because your potential is limitless, limitless. The universe is always expanding, always expanding. There’s always more. You can become anything you want in your life. You can have and be and do anything that you want in your life. And if you’re in an organization right now where you know there are difficult stakeholders, you you get to choose how you respond to that. You get to stay and do the work and learn how to deal with these kind of people.

Or if you’ve done that and you’re like, this is not for me, you’ve got to live in alignment with your values and you’ve got to have the courage to move on. But it all starts with you believing that you are worthy of success, balance, and happiness. And from an inner critic perspective, the goal isn’t to actually eliminate the inner critic, because the inner critic’s job is to keep us safe.

It is there to remind you of, hey, do you remember what happened last time you spoke up? Or hey, you might sound stupid. Its job is actually to protect you. But the goal is to stop believing everything it sells you. Because confidence is not about believing that you’ll never fail. It is about trusting yourself even when things are uncertain. It is about remembering that you.

Are in your organization, you are on this planet for a reason. You were appointed into that role because of your skill set. There are people right now on your leadership team who have half of your abilities and talent, but they don’t listen to their inner critic. They listen to some other god-like figure in their head. You know the ones I’m talking about.

And they are the ones who progress. So if you want to accelerate your leadership career, you have got to learn how to handle your mindset. You have got to be able to control your inner critic. You need the tools to be able to lead with confidence. You need to please stop hoping and wishing that the more work you do, the more recognition you get. It is absolutely not the case. And as the old saying goes,

What got you to here will not get you to there. And if you’re constantly doing the job of your previous role and all of those things that have got you to where you are, you cannot grow. You will stay stuck in the doing. And as a result, you’ll get more wrinkles, you’ll get more grey hair, you won’t see your family, you won’t get recognized, you’ll work yourself to the ground.

And then you’ll get your lovely bonus at the end of the year and your you know your merit increase. And so what? Like what’s money for? What’s a nice car for if you don’t have the enjoyment out of it? So if you want to lead with confidence, I love supporting women with this, and I am hosting a free confidence masterclass.

So you will find the link in the show notes, or if you just go to lucygernon.com forward slash masterclass. I’m going to be doing it live. If you are listening on replay, I might put out replay. I’m really not sure about this one because this one is going to be magnetic. So if you’re listening to this right now, I recommend going over to lucygarn.com for forward slash masterclass and signing up for it. I’m going to be teaching you how to overcome this inner critic once and for all. You are going to be leading with fearless confidence. We are going to be getting rid of

all these knocks from the past together because the world needs you, lovely lady. The world needs you to step up and to lead. And to do that, it all starts with you. So head over to lucygernon.com forward slash masterclass. And if you enjoyed this episode of the show, I highly recommend that you go back through some other episodes. If you literally just search within the show itself and you type in the word confidence, you’ll see episodes there. If you type in any keyword that you’re looking for,

I’ve done over 200 episodes, so you’re definitely, definitely going to find episodes that are going to be super supportive for you. Lots of tips and tools and tactics in there, lots of amazing guests. So please go check it out. And if you’ve enjoyed the show, please share this with a friend or just give me a little rating and or a review on Apple or on Spotify, whatever podcast platform you’re on, so that it reaches more women just like you who need to hear this. And so I will leave you with this. You are amazing.

Even if I don’t know you, I know you’re talented and I believe in you. And my biggest wish for you is that you believe in yourself enough to know that you are worthy, you’re worthy of success, you’re worthy of balance, you are worthy of happiness and contentment, you are worthy of investing in yourself, of taking time for you. You do not have to choose. And so next week on the show, we are going to be talking about the three biggest mistakes that are blocking your leadership career growth.

And they’re also stealing your presence at home. So be sure to come back and check it out. So until then, until next week, same time, same place. Bye for now.