Hello there, and welcome back to another episode of the powerhouse Revolution podcast. How are you doing today? How is your week going? Hope everything is going well. I was talking to a client of mine recently. And you know, as a woman in a leadership role, you have worked your butt off to get to where you are, and you’re super, super successful for a reason. And you’re seen as the go to person, you are seen as somebody who solves problems, you’re liked by your colleagues, you’re liked by your team. But yet there’s something inside you that makes you lack confidence. Can you relate? If you can, you are absolutely not alone. So many women, even the ones who appear confident on the outside, actually don’t really believe in themselves on the inside. I remember I had a client once who really lacked confidence. And she had done really well she was quite senior in a big organization. And despite all of her achievements, she would spend time beating herself up wishing that she had done things differently, ruminating about the past, worrying about tomorrow, you know, not being afraid to kind of speak up and have her voice actually heard. And this really, really affected her so much so that it was affecting her sleep, she really didn’t like how she was feeling. But she felt really, really stuck. So obviously through my one to one work in my program, powerhouse revolution, we work through all of that stuff. Because a lot of it goes back to you know, there’s there’s deep stuff there when it comes to how we view ourselves. And I suppose I was chatting to her recently about how she’s feeling. And she was saying that, you know, she’s definitely we finished working together over a year ago. She’s definitely in much, much better place. But obviously every now and again, there’s things that pop up. So I reminded her of some of the tools I shared with her. And I’m going to share them with you today.
So some really common scenarios that I would see that would cause you to feel or lack confidence or feel less than or feel like you shouldn’t speak up would be a mistake. Can you relate to any of these? Number one, maybe you’re in a big meeting, and you really want to say something, you really feel like you’ve got a valid point to add. But as you look around the room, you are afraid to share your viewpoint in case you’re judged. Can you relate to that one? Or maybe you have a strained relationship with your boss or your coworker? And that makes you feel inadequate in some way? Maybe they make you feel less than maybe you compare yourself to others? Can you relate to that one? Or maybe you always downplay your successes, and you might avoid the spotlight because really, imposter syndrome might be rearing its head and you might not want the recognition because you’d rather just do the work in the background and hope that you get noticed. But that’s not reality. In fact, your performance is so little it’s all the visibility. But that’s for another day’s work. And then the fourth scenario I would see that’s quite common is you look for external validation for your ideas. But it turns out that you were right with your idea in the first place. They’re all very common scenarios when it comes to women in the workplace and confidence. So let me know, can you relate to any of those things? So I believe it’s time for you to own your worth. So first of all, I want to say that you are absolutely not alone. I’m talking to you. Yes, I’m talking to you, my friend. You’re not alone. And you are bloody amazing. And you don’t need to allow that voice to take over. But I know it’s hard.
But there’s an expression or there’s a quote I think it was Tony Robbins says it’s very famous anyway. And it’s where focus goes energy flows. So if you’re only focusing on the reasons why you shouldn’t Do something you shouldn’t speak up or, you know, you, you your opinion is invalid. That’s where your energy, that’s where you’re putting your attention. Okay? So that is where you’re going to show up, right, you’re going to show up in that way. So you need to stop focusing on what you are not doing or don’t know, and start focusing on what you do know. Because so many of us and I used to do that myself, I would start with no, listen, I’m not an expert in this, but or I’m not sure if all the information but so immediately, you’re not instilling confidence in yourself, but you’re also not instilling confidence in the other person you’re communicating to. So always own what you know, and start with what you know. And like I said to you, you know, you’ve got to realize that even the most confident people doubt themselves to that I doubt myself all the time. But of course, it’s human, because we want to be like, I want to do well, and all those things just like you do. But I don’t allow it to take over and I push myself, because every time I feel doubt, or every time I lack confidence, it’s a call to grow. I know this, but maybe you’re ignoring the calls to grow. So the other thing you need to do really is to understand your strengths and work to them. And this is something I would do with my one to one clients. So many of us try to operate outside our zone of genius. And in areas that maybe we’re not good at, because we feel like we should there’s an awful word should know this, we should be able to do this, we should be able to do that. But you need to understand your strengths, and then work to your strengths. So for example, one of my top strengths is hope and optimism, you can probably tell us, I’m always optimistic about the future, I’m always hopeful, I’m always looking towards a better version of me or better life or a better version of my clients to help them to move forward. And that’s why I do so well in my in my own business, because that I’m working to my strengths. I used to spend time analyzing like tons and tons of data on Excel, Excel spreadsheets, that was never my strength, it was something I had to do. But it I didn’t get joy from that. So I get so much joy from help from helping people look towards the future and helping them see solutions to things that they can see. So when you operate in your strengths, and you’re in your zone of genius, you will feel happier, and you will definitely feel more confident. So I told you, I was going to give you some strategies to boost your confidence. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me, I’m gonna give you five strategies that are very simple. And I really want you to take at least one or two of them under them this week. Deal. Sorry, there’s Alfie bark and my dog to someone at the door.
So the first strategy is to change how you speak to yourself in your head. This is so so important. You’ll never speak to anyone as much as you do in your own head. I’m gonna say that again. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me. You will never speak to anyone as much as you do in your own head. So you’ve got to start being more kind and compassionate with yourself. You’ve got to start being your own cheerleader, you’ve got to start realizing that you have all the resources within you to do anything you want. The second thing that you can do.
The second strategy is if you know, you really lack confidence inside, and you look at somebody else who is super confident, and you look at them, and you go, Oh my God, I wish I could be as confident as them. I wish I could be as articulate as them or show up with such charisma as they do. Ask them to be your mentor. Ask them to help you. Again, most people will never do this because we’re afraid of judgment or afraid of looking weak. But actually it does not make you look weak, it actually makes you look competent. It is somebody who has a growth mindset who wants to grow who wants to learn. So if you want to feel more confident, you need to surround yourself with more people who are acting like you want to act and ask them to support you ask them for tips, ask them to help you.
The parent strategy then which is the most difficult thing is to align your behavior to who you want to become and push yourself out of your comfort zone. So every time you get close to the edge of that comfort zone, you’re sitting in that meeting with those people that you feel intimidated by. You’re looking around the room and you have something to say or you disagree with something. And as the Mel Robbins rule which I love the 54321 technique I think she calls it. You literally have five seconds to act before your brain talks you out of it. So you might be sitting there and you might go I disagree with that. And you look around at those faces, and you see those maybe threatening eyes or some dominant characters that you don’t feel comfortable with 54321 now, or do it and then you sit there, you need to, in that moment, make a decision. And remember, this is a call for growth, you will never feel confident confidence does not come from listening to podcasts, it does not come from reading books, it does not come from wishing you felt more confident or beating yourself up. Confidence comes from taking action, even when you don’t want to, because confidence is a lack of belief in the outcome that you want. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me. Confidence is a lack of belief that the outcome is going to happen that you want. So you’ve got to show your mind evidence that it is going to work out. So wouldn’t the next time that you feel like sitting down and playing small and sitting there and hoping that someday somebody will hear your voice, no, that’s not going to happen. You’ve got to push yourself out of your comfort zone, PE, you’ve got to push yourself because that is the only place confidence comes from confidence comes from doing the things you don’t want to do. And then realizing that you could do them all along, okay. So it’s the hardest thing to do. So I really urge you to really pay attention to your own behaviors this week and have your feet and then yourself. And if you’re in those situations where you would typically shy away, I want you to go for it. I want you to put your big girl pants on. And I want you to remember who you are. And I want you to remember that you’re not being a bitch, you’re not hurting somebody, you’re not stealing somebody’s light, you’re not going to get in trouble. If somebody looks at you one favorably for what they what you’ve said, that is their problem. Okay, you have got to own your worth.
The fourth thing you can do then is and this might help you with only your work. So again, if you’re multitasking, come back to me. Write out a list of your achievements and see how awesome you are. So often you look at what’s wrong, what you haven’t done, why you’re not enough, why others are better than you. If you take a pen to paper and write out a list of your achievements, your achievements. Look at what you’ve done in your career, look how far you have come. If you think back to that little girl, that little 10 year old version of yourself, innocent eyes, imagining what our future was going to look like feeling very unsure about how the whole life was going to go. But you’re now like in a an organization in a leadership role. You are on good salary that your 10 year old self would have cried if she thought you would earn as much as you’re earning her right. She you have to be so proud of how far you’ve come because I genuinely care about you. And I genuinely believe that you’re amazing. And I want you to see that too. So get your pen and paper write out your achievements. And if you can’t see them, you need to ask people around you. What What have I achieved recently? Or have I done something recently that you liked? They’re all achievements, what can you be proud of? What value do you bring to the world. And then the fifth strategy to boost your confidence is to give yourself permission not to be the best at everything and work to your strengths. So I spoke about that earlier about working to your strengths, but it really is about giving yourself permission and realizing that if you don’t know the answer to something that’s not a reflection on you. It’s just based on the information that you have on the knowledge base that you have. That’s why you don’t have the answer. You don’t have to have all the answers. That’s why you have a team. Okay? You’re not supposed to know everything. You’re supposed to lead people you’re supposed to problem solve, and you’re supposed to be good at that. And I know that you are.
So that is it. For today’s episode, I’m going to just recap quickly on the five strategies to boost your confidence. Number one, change how you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind, be compassionate, be loving. And remember, you will never speak to anyone as much as you do in your own head. You’ve got to be super careful about what you say to yourself. Number two, find a confident mentor that you aspire to be like and ask them to help you. You want to emulate their behavior, ask them for tips, ask them for encouragement. Number three, align your behavior to who you want to become and push yourself out of your comfort zone. If all these tips I could give you that’s the biggest one. It’s to do the thing that you you want to do inside but that that voice is telling you to do you’ve got to feel the fear and do it anyway. And just watch the growth Watch the magic, watch the expansion, watch the happiness, watch the fulfillment that comes from that. Number four, write out a list of your achievements and see how awesome you are. And number five, give yourself permission not to be the best at everything. And make sure that you’re trying to work to your strengths as much as possible. Rather than trying to do tasks that you’re really not good at, that you really don’t enjoy. You need to find a way to offload those and do something that you love. So that’s it for this week’s episode on boosting your confidence. I really hope you found this valuable. If you know somebody, a friend or a colleague who you know struggles with their confidence. I would really appreciate if you would fall within this, them they can’t even talk forward them this episode. That was a tongue twister. Because I want somebody else to hear my voice. I want somebody else who needs to hear this today to hear this episode. So please forward it on to your colleague and give them a gift as I always say given the gift of encouragement, given the kiss gift of knowledge and even, you know, open up conversation between the two of you may be on a path forward to a more confident, happier life. So that’s it until next time, be well and I hope you have a fabulous, fabulous week and I will talk to you again same time, same place next Wednesday. Bye for now.
