173 5 Power Phrases Every Female Leader Needs to Sound More Strategic & Confident

Lucy Gernon (00:22.072)

Have you ever felt like your ideas weren’t landing in meetings or that maybe you weren’t being taken seriously as a female senior leader, even though you knew exactly what you were talking about? You see, the way you communicate as a leader is just as important as what you say. And in this week’s episode of the Three Six Leadership Podcast, I’m going to be sharing with you five powerful phrases designed to help you to speak with confidence, authority and clarity to position yourself as a strategic leader.

 

to command respect while staying true to your leadership style. And honestly, these are real tried and tested phrases that my private clients use all of the time. So get ready to take notes, because this episode is going to be super, super valuable.

 

Lucy Gernon (01:08.174)

Hi there and welcome back to another episode of the 360 Leadership Podcast. I am your host, Lucy Gernon, a multi-award winning executive coach and entrepreneur, founder of 360 Leaders Club, which is a membership for women in senior corporate leadership who want to master executive presence, lead with more confidence and impact all without burning out or missing out on life. Now, today we are talking about something on this episode of the show, which is five power phrases that every female leader

 

really needs to have in her back pocket in order to sound more strategic and more confident. So if you know a female leader at work or you’re in a women’s network or you’ve got access to an audience of women in leadership, please forward them this episode of the show, because I believe if more women knew how to actually communicate their value and communicate, we would literally be able to change the world together. So let’s see, grab this episode link right now.

 

Send it in your WhatsApp groups, send in your Yammer community, send it on your teams, email it out, just get it out to as many women as we can so together we can begin to communicate more effectively together. So why does this even matter today? Let’s talk about language. Now this is something that as a coach I learned, like my eyes were just opened unbelievably when I did my coach training back in 2020. And even before that I had done

 

my very, very, very first coach training back in 2010. So I’ve been exposed to coaching for quite a number of years. And one of the key things that I learned was about how much your language matters. And it’s something that I’m delivering a training on in 360Litres Club. I have an amazing associate coach whose area of expertise is Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Language. And he has developed a fantastic training that we are going to be rolling out every single year where you’re going to learn about more.

 

how to master language. So if you’re interested in learning more about that, just head over to 360LeadersClub.com and you can find all of the information or just reach out to me. Now, when it comes to language, many women, me included, soften their language unintentionally, which can actually undermine their authority. And this is something that I’ve really had to work on. And sometimes I kind of go to the other extreme now. I’m super, super direct.

 

Lucy Gernon (03:31.202)

But I do think that I’ve got a really good balance between authority and also being compassionate, empathetic, you know, coaching approach as well. So it’s really important that you begin to understand how you can find that balance as a leader. And it’s something that takes practice. Now, research has shown that when you use more direct, structured communication, your ideas are taken more seriously. OK, so it’s really important that when you’re speaking,

 

that you’re doing so with authority, that you are intentionally shifting your energy, that you are intentionally giving eye contact and that you are owning and claiming the space in that room. Because so many women play small, they allow dominant energy around them to really make them play small, which is why a lot of women come to work with me, because it’s like

 

You’ve got to practice it and there’s so much to the psychology of this, so much to the psychology of this, which I just love teaching as well. And it’s all about making those, you small changes over time. So just please know that if you are one of these people who tends to be more submissive around dominant energy, firstly, just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Totally, totally normal.

 

But with a little bit of knowledge around psychology and a little bit of practice and coaching and mindset and support, I promise you, you can totally break through this. So to begin to break through this, I’m going to give you five paraphrases and I’m going to tell you when to use them too. So grab a pen and paper, get excited and let’s get into it. OK, the first one is what I call the strategic influence framework. Now,

 

This is what you might use in a meeting where you want to position yourself as a strategic thinker rather than just a doer. So can I get an amen for all the women who are the doers who want to be more strategic? I hear it all of the time. And this is going to begin to position you as that. You can use it in your emails. You can use it in your meetings. And this is it. Based on my observations of X, I believe Y.

 

Lucy Gernon (05:51.148)

Therefore, I recommend Z. I’m gonna say that again. Based on my observations of X, I believe Y. Therefore, I recommend Z. So that might be something like, based on my observations of the team dynamics, I believe we are under resourced in the area of AI. Therefore, I recommend we…

 

change one of our headcounts, and I have to say this properly, we flip one of our headcounts and use that to hire an AI expert. Because of the way the industry is moving and because of the analysis I have performed and the benchmarking with company ABC, this is a strategic smart move. Boom. There you go. You are welcome. Keep that one in your back pocket. This is really going to position you and

 

It’s going to actually by having a structure like that, it’s going to give you clarity and confidence. And it’s really going to help with reasoning for decision making as well, because it’s showing that you are data driven, you’re results orientated and you really want to remember, I said, whip this out when you’re in high stakes meetings, if you are sending an email or in a presentation or if you’re in a one to one with senior stakeholders. Absolutely. Please have this one ready. Strategic influence framework.

 

The second one then is on the executive boundary setter is what I’m calling it. The executive boundary setter phrase. And this is where you would use this when you want to say no to additional projects, if you’re setting boundaries around your workload, or if you really know you need to decline unrealistic expectations. Okay. So you will say something along the lines of this. And again, if you’d like to pause and take notes, go back and listen to this episode again, please do.

 

I understand this is important and I want to give it the attention it deserves. However, based on current priorities, I won’t be able to take this on right now. But here’s what I suggest instead. OK, I’m going to say that again. I understand this is important and then you can reflect back the person’s language, which is a bonus tip that they’ve used about why it’s important. And I want to give it the attention it deserves. However…

 

Lucy Gernon (08:14.402)

Based on current priorities, I won’t be able to take this on right now. Here’s what I suggest instead. You always want to position yourself as a problem solver. I know you are a problem solver. All the women that I work with are problem solvers. So this will be no bother to you. And what this is going to do is it’s going to reinforce that you are in control of your workload and priorities. And it’s going to help you to set clear boundaries while actually acknowledging the request.

 

it’s going to prevent you from getting into the habit of over committing or people pleasing as well. Because you’ve got to remember, we’re always playing the long game in business. I’ve said this a few times, you’ve got to be strategic and you’ve got to think about playing the long game and not responding to energy over what’s actually priority. OK. And that brings me on to the third phrase. We’ve got two more after this one.

 

which is what I call the red energy diffuser. I had a client, I’ve had a good few actually, who are highly analytical thinkers. They’re reflectors and they don’t talk a load of hot air just because they can. And when they speak, what they say really matters. They prefer to reflect, you know, one.

 

of my clients recently, she started working with me because she really wanted to learn how to deal with red energy. And it’s something that we’ve all got to learn to deal with. Now, luckily, I was brought up around a lot of red energy. So I always kind of I’m always good with dealing with red energy, which is why it’s easy for me to do it. But if you’ve never been around that kind of energy or grown up, it was your way of surviving was to be timid. Well, that’s going to continue into your adult life. So here’s what I invite you to say instead.

 

First of all, imagine that you have a bubble around you and that you are making an empowered decision not to let that energy in. Literally imagine yourself a protective bubble and then say something like, I hear your concerns and we’re doing eye contact here and I want us to find the best solution. Let’s focus on the outcome we’re trying to achieve and explore the best way forward. So I hear your concerns and then.

 

Lucy Gernon (10:29.538)

Bonus tip again, reflect back their exact language. I want us to find the best solution. Let’s focus on an outcome we’re trying to achieve and explore the best way forward. So again, this is something that I teach in 360Liters Club in a lot more detail around the psychology behind it and your own conditioning and your own beliefs and try to get rid of all that stuff so that this begins to become more easy for you. And this is really ideal when you’re handling dominant high intensity personalities, which would be those red energy.

 

dominant leaders. And by having this phrase, it’s going to help you to maintain composure. It’s going to redirect aggression into more constructive problem solving. So that’s channel that energy. And this is going to help you to really assert your presence without escalating tension. OK, do not fight fire with fire. You’re going to get more fire. The fourth one, then, is what I’m calling the leadership reality check. So.

 

This is where you want to use this in like strategic discussions or when you see a team member or peer getting totally lost in the weeds where we really need to come back and realign priorities and refocus. so let’s say you’re in a meeting and we’ve all been there where people are going off on tangents. There’s no idea of the direction. don’t know what’s happening. You’re like, why am I even here? Like what’s going on?

 

This is where I invite you to assert your leadership authority. Pause, do a power pause, bring people back. And then you’ve got to say it with conviction and authority in a grounded manner. Given the big picture and long term objectives, what’s the real impact of this decision? Or are we focusing on what truly matters right now? Or you can say something like, OK, I’m hearing this, I’m hearing this, I’m hearing this, I’m hearing this. What’s the objective?

 

of this meeting, what would everybody be happy with walking away with? And what you’re going to do there is you’re just going to bring in that reality check. Everybody will thank you for it. If you’re in the room with the CEO, CEO will thank you for it as well. OK, if you’re if you are the CEO, your clients or your customers will thank you for it. You’ve got to be the one who has the cojones to bring those energies and center it. And you’re actually going to look like a power player because you are. And then finally,

 

Lucy Gernon (12:54.136)

We’ve got the fifth paraphrase, which I’m calling the confident messenger. Now, this is a tough one for many, many women. And it’s something we talk a lot about in 360 Leaders Club as well is again, it goes back to your own self leadership first to be able to actually execute all of this stuff. And you’re going to use this phrase where you need to deliver bad news or if you’re handling tough conversations with stakeholders or teams or that pesky peer that drives you nuts.

 

or where you need to like manage expectations, okay? You’re gonna say something along the lines of this. I want to be upfront with you. Here’s what’s happening. Here’s what it means. Here’s how we’re gonna move forward. Okay? I’m gonna say that again. I wanna be upfront with you. Here’s what’s happening. I’m gonna tell you, like you can go, here’s what’s happening. Fill in the blank. This means what it means.

 

And here’s how we’re going to move forward. You’re going to use actually quite directive language instead of more coaching, invitation and language in these kinds of situations, because in leadership there is a balance of command and control versus coaching. And in there are certain situations where you cannot be the nice girl, right? You’ve got to be the confident messenger. So start it with, I want to be upfront with you. Here’s what’s happening. Here’s what it means. And here’s how we’re going to move forward. And this is going to help you to deliver this difficult news.

 

with confidence and clarity, without apology. It’s going to make sure that you don’t minimize the issue or over apologize. And it’s going to position you as a leader who takes ownership and provides solutions. Okay. So that is it for the five phrases. Let me summarize those again. I really hope that you love them as much as I loved creating them for you. The first one, we have the strategic influence framework.

 

which is based on my observations of X, I believe Y, therefore I recommend Z. Then we have the executive boundary setter phrase, which is, I understand this is important. I want to give it the attention it deserves. However, based on current priorities, I won’t be able to take this on right now, but here’s what I recommend instead. Lovely one. The third one is the red energy diffuser. I hear your concerns and I want us to find the best solution. Let’s focus on the outcome we’re trying to achieve here.

 

Lucy Gernon (15:16.972)

and explore the best way forward. The fourth one, the leadership reality check. When you really need to give people a reality check, given the bigger picture and the long-term objectives, what’s the real impact of this decision? Ooh, if that doesn’t say strategic, long-term thinker, I don’t know what does. Or are we focusing on what truly matters? Bring that one in as well. And then the fifth and final one, to use where you’ve got to deliver bad news or something like that.

 

is you want to say something like, want to be upfront with you. Here’s what’s happening. Here’s what it means. And here’s how we’re going to move forward. I’m telling you guys, if you keep those five phrases on like notes on your phone and maybe bookmark this podcast for days when you’re like, what did she say again? You can come back and listen to this podcast any time. And if you are not already on my newsletter subscriber list, you’re missing out because this Sunday

 

I’m going to be giving you an extra bonus paraphrase that’s going to help you handle pushback like a pro. Because let’s face it, when you get these phrases, there’s probably going to be pushback. And I haven’t told you how to do that yet. So head over to lucygarden.com forward slash newsletter, where I’ll be summarizing these phrases again. And I’m going to be giving you that sixth bonus one as well.

 

So if you find it valuable, honestly, I would love if you would share the show far and wide. I know that together, guys, I feel like we have such a special community in the 360 Leadership podcast. All of my absolute favorite clients listen to the podcast. You guys are rock stars and you are helping me so much to change the world of business for women in corporate leadership because we are leading in a world built by men for men. Let’s face it.

 

And while we’re changing it, the more women who learn how to be more confident communicators who learn to build their executive presence, who learn to stop all this good girl nonsense that we’ve been conditioned with. That is how we change the world. And every single person you send this podcast episode to or that you share my newsletter with, you are helping this movement more than you can ever realize. So.

 

Lucy Gernon (17:33.496)

head over to lucygarden.com forward slash newsletter and then grab the link to this show and please share far and wide. If you see me promote on socials or anything, just share it with your friends because honestly, I know they’re all going to love this episode. So that is it for this week’s episode of 360 Leadership Podcast. Thank you for being a valuable listener. If you’re long term here, I see you, I appreciate you. I am in your corner at every moment of every day thinking about you.

 

Well, no, that’s a weird. Okay, not every day, but you know what I mean. I am always in your corner. And also, if you are new here, you’re very welcome. Look forward to seeing you back here again. Same time, same place, next week. Bye for now.