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#100 Celebrating 100 Episodes: Best Bits From Your Top 10
The 360 Leadhership Podcast, Episode 100, 22 November 2023 by Lucy Gernon
We are celebrating 100 episodes of The 360 LeadHERship podcast! 🥳
With your incredible support, we’ve grown to have listeners in 93 countries, reached over 30,000 downloads and even taken the top spot on Apple Podcasts several times. Your enthusiasm motivates us to create valuable content each week.
Before we get into all the good stuff, I want to give you a little peek behind the scenes. Producing this podcast is a labour of love! We’ve got a dedicated team who work tirelessly to put together each episode.
From topic selection to research, recording, editing, social media promotions, and more, there’s a lot of work involved – all to help you become the best leader you can be!
The reason I do this is simple – I care. I am on a mission to empower 100,000 women in leadership to confidently unlock their potential and accelerate their impact so they can build a life filled with success, balance and happiness where anything is possible.
I want to help you to grow as a leader, and that’s why I put in so much effort. Your feedback, ratings, and shares mean the world to me and my team and help us to reach more leaders like you.
In this episode, we’re celebrating our 100th episode of the podcast. To mark this special occasion, we’ve prepared something special for you. We’ve looked into the archives, revisiting some of the standout moments and valuable insights from our top-performing episodes.
So take a moment to let us know what you’ve enjoyed and what you’d like to hear in the future. As we look forward to the next 100 episodes, we’ll keep delivering topics to help you grow and succeed!
Enjoy this look back at our incredible journey together!
Here’s the episode at a glance:
[8:47] The life-changing power of reframing your mindset with Dr. Brian Pennie
[11:48] The most powerful mindset shifts to get you through challenging times
[19:39] The #1 strategy for busy women leaders to achieve better balance with Deborah Threadgold
[24:45] How to break through to C level leadership with Christine Gagnon
[29:06] Boost your personal confidence with these 3 life changings tips
[37:39] The most powerful method to effectively set boundaries at work
Prefer to read?
Welcome to the 360 leadership podcast the top rated show for driven women in senior leadership with new episodes released every Wednesday. I’m your host Lucy Gernon, a multi award winning executive coach for women leaders and the founder of 3SIXTY Leaders Club exclusive high level membership for career driven family orientated women just like you. I created the 360 leadership podcast to share practical tips, actionable step by step strategies, and inspiring stories to support you to unlock the power and belief within to accelerate your impact and potential. So you can build a life filled with success, balance and happiness. So are you ready to achieve 360 degree success? No more excuses. No more waiting. Your time is now. Hi, there. And welcome back to another episode of the 360 leadership podcast. I’m your host, Lucy Garnon, multi award winning executive coach and CEO and founder of 360 leaders Club, which is a high level membership for women in senior leaders leadership who want to have it all. Now, today’s episode is really special as we are celebrating 100 episodes of the podcast. So today, what we decided to do was to pull out some of the best bits and from of our some of our top performing episodes, to give you the tips and strategies that we have shared that our VR listeners have found most valuable. So even if you’re around here for a while and you’ve been listening, I can guarantee you you’ve forgotten some stuff on it’s always nice to have a reminder. And equally if you’re new here well, isn’t it a great episode for you to listen in on so you can get a flavor of what we talked about on the podcast. So on that note, if you haven’t rated the our review the podcast before today would mean the world to me if you would do that. And if you would share this episode far and wide to try to see can we boost up the charts. We have been number one on the Apple podcasts career category several times this year on I would absolutely love if we could get off the charts in different countries this week. So I would really really really appreciate if you could share the podcast download a few episodes really listen to a few episodes and just help us drive up our listenership I we put so much time into this podcast, my team and I and it would just be such a nice little reward to get back from you my lovely listener. So like I said, Today, my team have pulled together some of the best bits from our top performing episodes. But just humor me for a couple of minutes if that’s okay, before we get into all the juicy stuff, because I want to take a little trip down memory lane and I want to share a little bit about what goes on behind the scenes of the podcast. What does it take to actually produce something like this. So we are 100 episodes in and we have released an episode every single Wednesday, come rain or shine for the last 100 weeks. And before that I had actually started this podcast and I had cancelled it and I wasn’t sure so I’m not even counting what it did before 100 episodes before. Now, for me to produce his free content takes a lot of time. I have a dedicated podcast manager, I have other assistants as well who helped out with the production process. So I’m just going to talk you through what actually happens. The first thing we do is how do I even pick a topic for what I’m going to talk about. So first of all, I listen to my clients, I listened to the members of 360 leaders club, I listened to what they’re asking, I listened to the challenges they’re facing. And if I share something with my members that I think can help, you know the wider population, I will share some of that on the on the podcast. Now obviously, when you’re a member 360 leaders club or if you’re a private VIP one to one client, the support is a lot more tailored to your specific situation. But I tried to give like a a broad kind of a picture on the podcast. So my podcast manager and I will meet up every single month. And we have a podcast pitch meeting. And in this meeting, we come up with content ideas, she’ll pitch some stuff to me, but what she thinks is going to work what we’re hearing in the community. And then I will be listened to I suppose what what I’m hearing from my clients, I’d be feeling into what my listeners are telling me which is why I always love to hear from you because we’re always looking for content ideas, like producing an episode every week is it takes a lot so if you ever have a challenge, and you want me to record an episode, please just slide into my DMs on Instagram or LinkedIn and I’ll happily do that for you At some point if I can. So we have the pitch meeting, we decide we look at what’s going on in the world that week. So for example, when Christmas is coming up, we will try to pick episodes that are more timely or and then that kind of thing, we will lock in our content, and then the process begins. So once the topics have been chosen, we’ll create podcast outlines, which is kind of the key things I’m going to teach you in a podcast. So again, I like to try and give you actionable tips and strategies and frameworks and things you can easily implement, remember, so I have to sit down and obviously write that out. Or I might have one of my assistants to do some research for me and coma proposals. So like, there’s a whole team behind this, okay, there’s a whole content team behind this too, then I will record the podcast, then somebody has to edit the audio, then we have to upload it to the platform that we host it on. We have to create social media promotions for it, we create email, marketing, forests, and all of this we are doing, we are not getting paid for this podcast at this moment in time and is not sponsored by anybody at all. And the reason that I do this, and I spend so much time on this podcast, is because I genuinely care. I genuinely wish when I worked in corporate, I had access to a resource like this where I could literally no matter what challenge I was facing, I could find an episode. Or if I couldn’t find an episode, the host was like telling me to reach out. Like, I don’t think you realize how much of an asset This podcast is for you. So please, please be sure to reach out and ask us because we will either direct you to an episode to support or we will add your topic to our list so that when we’re recording, we can answer your question. So that is kind of the production process. There’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of thought that goes into it. And there’s a lot of telling people to be quiet when we’re recording and things like that, too. So that’s why I always really appreciate like when I see we’re at number one, an apple or somebody comes on a call with me and they say Lucy, I found you through your podcast. Like just hearing your feedback, knowing it’s not falling on deaf ears, literally means the world. So on that note, today would be a really good day to slide into my DMs and tell me what you’re enjoying with the podcast. Tell me what you’d like to see in the future. Because we are now going to be going on to the next 100 episodes, which is super exciting. So I will always be in your airboats as long as you’re listening. So that’s my little trip down memory lane. Thank you. Thank you, thank you again for everything. And again, like I said, rate review, share all of the things. And now my team had been busy beavering away, going through your most liked your most listened to episodes, and you’re going to hear some of the best bits next. So you’re going to hear on an uninterrupted audio clips, there’s going to be little washes B between each of the episodes. And the whole aim is to give you some little value. So whatever you take away from it, you take away from it. If you need to pause it and write things down. I invite you to do that. But above all, thank you for being here. Thank you for celebrating with me in my DMs. Thank you for listening. And I hope you enjoy this little recap of our 100 shows. There’s a lot of women who really hate the whole thing about men and women being seen as kind of two separate and we’re all about you know, I suppose diversity, inclusion, equality, equity and all those things. But I believe now that we’re beginning to evolve, because women are starting to wake up and realize actually, we can do whatever whatever the hell we want to do. So what would you say to those women who are still holding themselves back?
Yeah, what I would say there is I think reflective questions are great on this right. One question, I think is just really, really simple. What’s the worst that could happen? And interestingly enough, so when I reached out to influential leaders and stuff like that, I also reached out to a couple of artists as well. And Amy Huberman was one of those artists of the actress Amy Huberman one when the May amazing woman she is. And she says to me, I said I wasn’t gonna reach out am I taught you what to say? No. And she says, what’s called if you don’t if you if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. So what’s the worst that can happen? You’re actually like, it’s a it’s a fear at the end of the day. It’s a fear of rejection. That’s what it actually is. It’s a fear of rejection. Well, I’ve set the reframe that for myself. I says we are. If I don’t ask, I’m pre rejected. I’m already rejected. It’s only by putting myself out there that you give yourself a fighting chance. Yeah. So it’s reframing it in your mind. If you don’t ask the answer is always no. And you are pre rejected unless you put yourself out there. Like if you’re afraid to go for a job position and you don’t go for it. You don’t get the job. If you put yourself out there and you go for it, you might get it or you might not get it. You’re giving yourself a fighting chance. I was just reframe, reframe and that. And another question I love is I remember writing a blog on our own time as well. And it got a good response. It gives me it gives me a feel it’s something that vibes with people, it’s a simple question. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Yeah. And there’s another aspect of that as well, like, it’s like failure. It’s like reframe failure as well. All of these things come into like failures and failure. It’s just the step on the ladder to success. But you’ve got to learn from that and adjust and pivot. So it’s just really part of the path because maybe you reached out to someone and you put yourself out there and you didn’t get the answer that you wanted. So it gives you a chance to pivot and do it better next time. And as you said, you’re not being rejected. It’s just different things at different times. It’ll give you a laugh. Actually, I’ve been really good. I think I’d stand there Joel wrote, which I’d send it some of the biggest podcasts in the world, they send them an email, it just popped into my head and send them an email letting go being rejected from Joe Rogan’s podcast about 20 times. I don’t even know if I want to be on the podcast to be great, obviously, my business like you know, but it’s like, just throw it out there. And I want to be on Russell Brand’s podcast as well, because Russell was in recovery. And that was great. And I’ve been reaching out to him for years. And then like, before Christmas, and I met a guy called Brian McDermott, former Premier League football and Russell Brand Camos. I love to meet Russell, some great names. But Russell says again, before Christmas, I got a video from Russell Brand. And he’s like Brian yesterday, buttering me up social media Leave me alone, having the Craig he says, Now come over to London, let’s come over. So I’m going over to London in a month or two. But that’s five years of rejection from Russell Brand. But now I’m going over next month.
But amid all of that promotion, and all the rebranding, and all the launch of my new membership, there was a lot of challenges. And I always like to keep things real in a hope that when I go through something, and I learned something, I can share it with my lovely listener you on the podcast. So while I’ve shared in the other episodes, all the amazingness of everything that I’ve you know, launched recently with 360, and the website and all of that, there was a lot of challenges that were going on simultaneously. So today, I’m just going to talk you through three powerful mindset shifts to help you through challenging times based on what I’ve learned. So with all of that aside, if you’re multitasking, come back to me, because right now I’m going to share those three things, those three mindset shifts I made, which helped me to get through that challenging time. So the first one is that life is all about contrast. You cannot have the good without the bad. And I reminded myself of that I reminded myself that better days were coming i i imagine if any of you were boys on phones back in the day I loved by his own if you’re not from Ireland, or you know, if you’re in the UK, you might not know if you’re in the US or you are you probably will in Europe, actually. But there was a band called boy band back in the guard in the 90s called boys on and the lead singer Ronan Keating, he left when he released a song called Life as a roller coaster, you’ve just got to write it. And I imagined that I thought about that song as I was going through all of this. And I was thinking about the contrast. And I was imagining like being on a roller coaster and I was in a dip. And I was in my you know, in my carriage and I was just thinking to myself, Okay, while I’m down in this step right now, the only way is up. So I want you my invitation for you is to remember that we cannot have good without bad. And contrast just actually shows you what you don’t want. And when you know what you don’t want, it means you know what you do want, and then you can take action towards moving towards it. So that’s the first mindset shift I made is that life is all about contrast, and you can’t have go without but the second thing was When Everything Feels like it’s falling apart, it’s actually just coming together. So again, every single time without fail in my life and in my business when I felt like my life was falling apart or when things felt open the air because again, remember, just told there was tons of stuff going on in my personal life too. And it just felt like honestly, everything was falling apart at the same time. I just reminded myself that it’s all it’s all actually just coming together to the universe is getting all the building blocks in place to be able to get you what you want. So the next time you’re in a challenging situation be that you’re going through a reorg and work or you lose a family member or you know, you get made redundant or something bad happens to you. It’s all happening just as it’s supposed to. You were always on the right path, because it’s the path you’re on. And everything is going to work out in the end. So that’s something that I reminded myself off to And then the third thing that I reminded myself, the third mindset shift is from my, my lovely mommy, who always says that, that phrase, this too shall pass. This too shall pass. So I just kept reminding myself that nothing stays the same. Everything changes, this is gonna pass I’ve gone through tougher times before. And how we can get out of it quicker is by looking for the lessons, like, what can you learn from the situation? Stay focused on what you want, not what’s happening. So instead of you going, Oh, my God, this is so shifted is happening? Well, what do I want, okay, like, what do I want. So try to stay focus on how you want to feel and just choose the next best emotion. And then what you need to do is align your actions towards your goals. So reminding yourself that it’s going to pass and then just aligning yourself with the act with your actions towards your goals is going to help you get focused. So if you’re going through a challenging time, right now, I am sending you love, I am sending you a big Virtual hug. And I want you to know that you are stronger than you think you are more resilient than you will ever know. And you have all the power within you to get through and resolve anything because you are resourceful, you are home. And yeah, that’s really just what I wanted to say to you today. We all have a relationship with money. And it’s based on your conditioning, it’s based on your childhood. So I mean, I see it all the time with women all the time, I see women who come in to me, and they want to work with me, and they want to invest in themselves. And there’s not even a question that they’re just ready to go. Like, there’s not even a doubt in their mind at all. They’re smart, they know that when they invest in themselves that they’re shorting because they’re in control of their investment on they just they just do it, okay. And that’s like several times do or depending on what it is. Then I see other women who like the thoughts of them spending are investing money in themselves, like makes fills in with dread, they just don’t feel they’re worth it. Even though they have the money. This is the thing, it’s not that they don’t have the money, the money is usually there, either in the bank account, or it’s over there and shares, but they don’t feel that they’re worth it. So now, let me tell you something. And again, if you’re multitasking, come back to me, if you don’t feel you’re good enough to invest in yourself, you are not going to feel good enough to ask for a salary increase, okay, so you have got to realize that if you want to invest in yourself, be that getting Botox, like I do invest in in coaches like me, or investing in a course you really, really want to do, or investing in you. I’m not talking about something material, I’m talking about something that’s going to fuel your personal and professional growth and development. If you are not there yet, if you can’t just hand over your your credit card or take money out of your bank account, because you have blocks around your value and if you are worth it, and can I really do this myself, what about the children? And what about this, if you can’t do that, you’re not in a position to go for a salary increase. Okay, I can tell you that with certainty. All right. So you’ve got to do the work on your money mindset. You need to build your confidence, and you need to really go in to the conversation with your manager, knowing full sure that you deserve this, or you’re not going to get it, okay. You want to really manage your energy and realize that they’re not doing you a favor, if they gave you the salary increase, okay, you deserve this. Okay, you deserve this. So what you really don’t want to do is go in with a with an energy of looking for permission, because permission based energy is weak, okay, we don’t want you to be perilous. And we want you to be a powerhouse because you are okay. And it all starts with knowing your worth. And on that whole area of investing in yourself, this is something that a lot of women I work with, would struggle with, you know, investing time in themselves, like putting themselves first like a lot of women, as you’ve probably seen yourself, you know, they put the team first, they put the family first. You know, they’ll invest in holidays thinking that actually if I just have two weeks, you know, I’ll just like keep looking forward to this two week holiday, I’ll be fine. And they never are because I think you need that ongoing. So what would you say to the women who are listening? Who put everyone else first and they’re hearing you? And they’re saying yeah, I’d love to be able to exercise but my to do list is too long. And I have kids? Like how can we get those ladies to shift their mindset to realize that they are they deserve it?
Oh, my goodness, it’s such a big question. And you know, one of the things you know, I look back on over my career and how my life has evolved over the last few years is sometimes with a little bit of experience. You look back and think you should have done that maybe a little bit differently and you start to deploy new tactics or new strategies around that. So some of it just comes with learning. It’s like everything in life. We talked about that with our kids as well. Right, sometimes they have to make mistakes and learn for themselves. You know, somebody said something to me when I was much younger in my career, and it has stuck with me all the while, you know, you work in organizations, no matter what size they are, there are people all around you who are talented, who are smart, who are fantastic, who work really hard, just like you do. So the question is, how do you make yourself stand out. And so from a business point of view, I was advised take about 10% of your time, however you split that up, make sure that you are looking at your Northstar or looking at your plan or looking at your skills or looking at where you’re going next, or looking at your network, whatever it might be. Because if you’re somebody sitting in a position where you’re going to help somebody to develop their career, for example, and you’re faced with all of these talented people, how do you know which one to go for? Right? So sometimes you need to take the time out to make sure that people know you’re there. They know what you’re doing, they know that you’re ambitious, and that you have the right people around you to to nudge you along in that journey. And that’s just from a work point of view. But again, you know, from a more holistic life point of view, I think you almost have to put something in your calendar, that’s as Have you done something for yourself. There’s always other priorities. I bet you never walk out of your job at the end of the week and say, I got everything done. I don’t think I’ve ever done that. So that in life, did I clean the windows? Did I take the kids to the dentist, did I you know, whatever it is you were planning on doing? I mean, did I get the unit for the outfits or the communion, which I was trying to do a few weeks ago to drove me completely nosy? No, you nobody ever achieves everything all at the time. So it’s just a case of what’s most important. And honestly, I can only speak for myself see, if I’m not in the right frame of mind, that makes things so much more difficult. So, and for me, as I said, the physical exercise or going for a spa, or whatever it might be that you’d like to do, you just got to put it up there it is a priority. Gotta get it as a mantra into your net.
prioritizing your tasks, it’s going to just help you get so organized. And it really does reduce feelings of overwhelm. So make your to do list and prioritize your tasks based on their importance and their deadline. So this will help you to stay more focused, and it will just help you to feel more more in control. So a lot of people, excuse me find it difficult to prioritize, because they believe, believe that everything is a priority. But everything can’t be a priority, you might be a priority for your company, but you only one person, right? So you’ve got to be able to kind of come up out of the weeds. Get strategic, look at the business goals, look at the big picture. If you’re not clear, you need to get seek that clarification. But be ready to know I suppose your I suppose your capacity in a sense. And just because you’re if you’re at like I work with a lot of women who will be at VP level or SVP level, just because you’re at that level in an organization does not mean that you have to dedicate your entire life to that company. Because what’s like, unless you, you love it, and you’re not stressed, and there’s no anxiety. And that’s all cool if that’s what you want. Amazing. But if you’re feeling stressed, or your work life balance is out of sync and you’re lonely and you miss friends and you wish you had more time to exercise but the company has taken your time. The only way you ever change that is by taking back control. The only way you ever change that is by making a decision that you’re worth it, that you deserve more. And I have I was thinking of a client of mine that she was at. Yeah, I think she’s like an executive vice president I gets all mixed up with you all and all their different titles. And she was working like 70 hour weeks and crazy hours on you know different time zones and things like that. And she was so afraid to step back because she had this imposter syndrome that a lot of women would struggle with on men too. And she really didn’t want to step back because she was afraid that, you know, her team would drop the ball or that her boss would think she was incompetent. But what ended up happening is she completely burned herself out. And she had to take the time away. And you know, we did a lot of work together and things like that as well. And she went back with a newfound confidence and new boundaries, fresh perspective, a lot more choice for her team. And literally what ended up happening was she was sought out for a promotion to divisional president as she loosens the reins. So if that’s not evidence to support the fact that when you take care of yourself, magic things happen. I really don’t know what it is. As a female in a male dominated world, you have managed to work your way up to sea level and make a really big impact. So tell me about the transition from maybe middle management to senior management to sea level.
Yeah, I think a couple of things. I was always really interested in learning how leadership actually works on the ground. And so I had this aspiration when I was at PricewaterhouseCoopers, to be a chief of staff, and I didn’t mind if it meant getting someone’s coffee or organizing someone’s diary, there was no sort of task, it was too small. Because what I really wanted to learn was, how is this job done? How do you manage a team of 1000s of people? How do you run a billion dollar a multibillion dollar firm. And so that was always a curiosity that I had very early on in my career. And I’m so fortunate that several of the partners supported me early on in that that part of my career, I was able to see that. So that’s kind of, first of all, is kind of looking at maybe how you get there a little bit differently. And then second, was taking some risks. So I had done my leadership rotations at PWC. I went to the bank, and I worked for the C suite there as well. And then when I went to Ernst and Young, I was like, wow, okay, I really need to figure out how I’m going to pivot more into that leadership role. And there was an opportunity actually to be Chief of Staff to the managing partner for financial services, Africa. And it was such a risk for me because I had never lived in Africa before. I didn’t know anything about Joburg. But I had essentially moved there for short term secondment, I decided I was just going to take the risk, do it then a little over 12 months there and eventually became the chief operating officer. So that was a transition into for me my first C suite role was taking taking that risk. And it wasn’t a short journey, I have to say, you know, I had my first leadership rotation in 2008, I believe. And then finally, I think it was probably eight years later, I was able to secure that role. So it took me almost half of my career to get there. But it was certainly worth their journey. I think that’s the perseverance, the flexibility and the risk taking. Because sometimes there are some things that some projects I took on that maybe didn’t quite fit in the path, but you know, no harm, no foul kind of thing.
So you said something really interesting there, if I heard you correctly, that you went to Johannesburg for a year. And basically you went in for a one role. And you left having gone to the C suite in within that year that I hear that right? Yeah, yes. So I want to know, this is the juice. How did you do that?
So it’s interesting, because I think we talked offline about, you know, what kind of advice would you have for other people? Or what advice have you been given? You know, I was married before, I don’t mind sharing that. And one of the pieces of advice that my ex husband gave me was, he was like, sometimes, like, don’t be so pushy, you know, you can find a balance between asking for what you want. And, you know, getting that in a way that will make you comfortable and other people comfortable. And that’s always been the balance for me, because sometimes you’re afraid to ask like, oh, my gosh, you don’t really want to go after this. And on the other hand, you’re like, No, I, you know, I need to look out for me, I have certain goals and certain aspirations. So for me, when I was in Johannesburg, I was doing the Chief of Staff roll. And I realized that everything I was really doing was more of a Chief Operating Officer. So I had mentioned that I said, you know, we don’t have a CFO, what do you think about me officially moving into the role of CFO? And I guess if you don’t ask you, you know, you never know. And the managing partner at that time, he was like, Sure, I think that’s a great idea. Let’s do it. And it was just as easy as that. And it was, it really helped me. So it wasn’t just a title, it was really earning my seat at the table, where I was now part of leadership, I was part of partner promotion conversations, I was part of moving our strategy forward, you know, HR discussions about bonuses and raises and things that I think before the Chief of Staff wasn’t necessarily as privy to. That was a really amazing transition. And it really came from me clearly asking the question, and again, you know, not doing it in an aggressive way. And you’re, I think the other thing, too, is being prepared for whatever answer you might get. Because I have been told no, many times.
I told you, I was going to give you some strategies to boost your confidence. And they really want you to take at least one or two of them, undo them this week. Change how you speak to yourself in your head. This is so so important. You’ll never speak to anyone as much as you do in your own head. I’m gonna say that again. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me. You will never speak to anyone as much as you do in your own head. So you’ve got to start being more kind and compassionate with yourself. You’ve got to start being your own cheerleader. You’ve got to start realizing that you have all the resources within you to do anything you want. The second thing that you can do, the second strategy is if you know, you really lack confidence inside and you look at somebody He else who is super confident, and you look at them and you go, Oh my God, I wish I could be as confident as them. I wish I could be as articulate as them or show up with such charisma as they do. Ask them to be your mentor, ask them to help you. Again, most people will never do this because we’re afraid of judgment or afraid of looking weak. But actually, it does not make you look weak, it actually makes you look competent. It is somebody who has a growth mindset who wants to grow, who wants to learn. So if you want to feel more confident, you need to surround yourself with more people who are acting like you want to act and ask them to support you ask them for tips, ask them to help you. The parent strategy then, which is the most difficult thing is to align your behavior to who you want to become and push yourself out of your comfort zone. So every time you get close to the edge of that comfort zone, you’re sitting in that meeting with those people that you feel intimidated by, you’re looking around the room, and you have something to say or you disagree with something. And as the Mel Robbins rule, which I love the 54321 technique, I think she calls it, you literally have five seconds to act before your brain takes you out of it. So you might be sitting there and you might go, I disagree with that. And you look around at those faces. And you see those maybe threatening eyes or some dominant characters that you don’t feel comfortable with 54321 now or do it and then you sit there, you need to, in that moment, make a decision. And remember, this is a call for growth, you will never feel confident confidence does not come from listening to podcasts, it does not come from reading books, it does not come from wishing you felt more confident or beating yourself up. Confidence comes from taking action, even when you don’t want to confidence is a lack of belief that the outcome is going to happen that you want. So you’ve got to show your mind evidence that it is going to work out. So when the next time that you feel like sitting down and playing small. And sitting there and hoping that someday somebody will hear your voice now. That’s not going to happen. You’ve got to push yourself out of your comfort zone, okay? You’ve got to push yourself because that is the only place confidence comes from confidence comes from doing the things you don’t want to do. And then realizing that you could do them all along, okay? So it’s the hardest thing to do. So I really urge you to really pay attention to your own behaviors this week and have your feet and then yourself. And if you’re in those situations where you would typically shy away, I want you to go for it. I want you to put your big girl pants on. And I want you to remember who you are. And I want you to remember that you’re not being a bitch, you’re not hurting somebody, you’re not stealing somebody’s light, you’re not going to get in trouble. If somebody looks at you one favorably for what they what you’ve said, that is their problem. Okay, you have got to own your worth. What inspired this episode really was with most of my clients, and with everyone I know, we all have problems or communication issues with our bosses from time to time. And sometimes, you know, you’ve had great bosses. And then you also can have those bosses or leaders who freely first of all, you think you’ve no idea why they’re in the role because they don’t like managing people. Do you know what I’m talking about, you know, those ones. And then you have other bosses who really just are micro managers and things like that. So I suppose we can all have these frustrations. So really, today, I wanted to share five simple actions that you can take to improve your relationship with your boss. Get a little personal with your boss, you don’t have to overdo it, but it can really help to solidify your professional relationships. So I personally believe it’s really important to be authentic. And what authentic means is just being yourself it means not being afraid to show who you are to crack a joke. Like I loved pink, right? I was never afraid when I was at some point. But like towards my latter years, I wasn’t afraid to show who I was. Because I was proud of who I was and the work I had done on myself because I had invested in myself. I had done the inner work to be able to kind of have this kind of confidence. So don’t be afraid to get confident or to get personal with your boss. You might just ask them how they got off the weekend. And if they’re a talker, and all they do was talk with their kids, and what they bought and where they went. You just jump in and let them know because sometimes people talk about themselves because they haven’t been taught how to ask questions but the J Anyway, we tend to be interested in other people don’t we tend to be interested when somebody starts telling the story. And by doing this, you’ll actually find that you have stuff in common, you might have a laugh, or at the very least, you might just relax for a few minutes instead of worrying about what’s going on with the current projects and where you are with a schedule and how this project is and your KPIs and all that jazz. So the third category or bucket is the don’t want it. So these are tasks that need to be dealt with, but they don’t actually need your specific expertise. So it might be things like a department rep at a meeting, or other people’s priorities. So if somebody comes to you with something that’s an emergency and apparent emergency, it’s their priority, they haven’t been organized enough, they have something common to you, that all of a sudden is being landed on you it happens all the time, you don’t want that it’s you teach people how to treat you. So you know, again, I in my programs, I kind of go through this in more detail, there’s a whole kind of system around setting boundaries, but you really don’t want to be just dropping all of your important stuff to support somebody else, if it’s going to affect your productivity, or, ultimately, if it’s not aligned with the business goals, okay? Tribute requests from others. So you don’t want to be doing that stuff you have worked too hard to get where you are to be spending time searching for things and administrative tasks and things you don’t want that stuff, right. But you need to delegate those things. And providing solutions again, will be another thing too, with for other people without them even trying themselves. So some leaders are fantastic at coaching. And again, this is something I teach in my programs, coaching and helping their teams to come up with solutions or pushing back. Because if you don’t, if your team don’t learn to problem solve and learn to become a small self sufficient, it actually damages their not only their performance, it actually limits her confidence and they won’t really grow. So I’m a big fan of, you know, given autonomy to my team and asking them to try figure it out. Not because I’m being mean, it’s actually for two reasons. Number one, because I want them to learn and grow themselves, because that’s what we’re here for on this earth to learn and grow to solve problems to feel accomplished. When we do things we didn’t really think we could. And also because I have other stuff I need to do, because I want you to adopt the same kind of mindset. You deserve to control your time you deserve to control your life. So what you what I want you to do is to apply my dad method. Now, it can be difficult to do this, because sometimes there’s mindset work that needs to be done in advance in order for you to have the confidence to do this, but I’m going to share this with you anyway. It’s what I tell my clients, and that’s how they get results. So it’s the DoD method. So D AD define, apply and defend. So the very first thing I want you to do is I want you to get crystal clear on what’s acceptable for you, not what’s acceptable for other people. So again, if you’re multitasking, come back to me, what do you want? Do you want to be on your emails at nighttime?
Maybe you do, that’s fine. But if you don’t, why are you doing it? Do you want to be replying to WhatsApps I’ll give you an example. Actually, when it comes to boundaries, I’m super clear with my VIP clients, where where where how we work together. So work life balance is a core value of my company and myself because I have been there, right didn’t have it. And now that I have it, I’m never given it up again. So I’m very clear boundaries that you know, we, we our primary method of contact is email. And then to allow 24 hours for me to respond because I don’t want to be on my phone all of the time. There’s lots of coaches out there who use different apps, or different apps like Voxer and telegram where they their clients, you know can voice not have an anytime I don’t operate that way. So if you ever want to work with me, please just know that you will get the results by the way when you work with me to my system to my processes with everything I give you and with our one to ones and all that kind of stuff. But you don’t get me 100% of the time and I’m very, very clear on that for myself because I value my time and my life far too much. So I want you to know that it’s okay to value your time and it’s okay. Like my clients don’t think any less of me the ones who work with me because they respect that. So you actually inspires other people then to set boundaries for themselves. So you control your time you get to decide when you work with Reason, obviously, you’re employed by your employer. But if you don’t want to be working all the hours if you don’t want to be dialed in into calls at two o’clock in the morning, like, what are you doing before? You’re telling yourself a story in your mind that you have to do it for your role, but I’m sorry, a meeting doesn’t have to happen. When you’re supposed to be asleep. Yes, you might be in a different time zone. I fully appreciate that. And sometimes the shit hits the fan. But if you weren’t there, when would the business really fall to pieces? In the majority of cases it wouldn’t. So there’s ways and means if you get clear, especially if you manage time zones, and when you’re available, and do it around what works for you, not what works for other people, you’d be surprised how people will accommodate it. But the most important thing is, if you’re multitasking come back to me is when you set a boundary, you then have to do it with conviction. So there you have it, I hope you enjoyed those little snippets of our best bets of our 100 episodes. Thank you again for being here with me. And like I invited you earlier, please slide into my DMs and tell me what you enjoy about the show and what you’d like to see more of. Maybe it’s leadership, maybe it’s mindset, maybe it’s confidence, maybe it’s conflict management, maybe it’s more interviews or more fun, please let me know because we we do this for you, myself and ally, my podcast manager and tierna we are all here for you. So just sliding let me know and thank you. I hope you enjoy today. Do not forget to rate and review the podcast and share it with your friends to try to see can we get off the charts this week in Apple and Spotify. So until next week, be safe be well and remember you hold all the power to change your life and I cannot wait to connect with you again soon. Bye for now