#144 3 Tips to Confidently Discuss Your Career Aspirations with Your Boss
The 360 Leadhership Podcast, Episode 144, 25 September 2024 by Lucy Gernon
Did you know that only 37% of employees feel confident discussing their career aspirations with their boss?
Are you part of the majority who finds this conversation daunting?
This is something I hear a lot from my clients. These women are ambitious, family focused and have big aspirations for themselves.
Yet they often find themselves playing small and hesitant to put themselves forward for promotions and new opportunities, despite knowing they have the skills.
They often Feel like they are in “please pick me” energy, rather than having that discussion they know they need to have instead of waiting for their boss to promote them.
So in this episode of the show I will be sharing my top 3 tips on how you can confidently discuss your career aspirations with your boss so that you can fully step into your worth and get comfortable using your voice.
You will finish this episode feeling prepared and confident to have that discussion to take the next step towards your aspirations.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn:
- WHY you lack confidence in discussing career aspirations with your boss
- 3 Tips Revealed: practical strategies to confidently discuss your career aspirations with your boss
- A story to inspire you to take action to have this conversation
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Lucy Gernon (00:01.006)
Did you know that according to Gallup, only 37 % of employees feel confident discussing their career aspirations with their boss? If you are part of the majority who finds the conversation daunting, you’ve got to tune into this episode of the show. If you’re ambitious, family -focused, and if you have big aspirations, you often might find yourself playing small and maybe even being hesitant to put yourself forward for promotions or new opportunities, even though you have the skills, right?
You might even feel like you’re in this pick me energy as opposed to having the confidence and the assertiveness to actually have the discussion instead of waiting for your boss to promote you. So in this week’s episode of the show, I’m going to be sharing my top three tips on how you can confidently to have the discussion so that you can fully step into your potential and get comfortable using your voice. You’ll finish this episode feeling prepared and confident to have that discussion to take the next step forward. So let’s get into it.
Lucy Gernon (01:00.462)
Hey there, welcome back lovely lady to another episode of the 360 Leadership podcast. I can’t even believe that we’re almost at the end of September. It is crazy that we’re about to go into quarter four. I just can’t even believe it. I hope that you are not too swamped with budgets season and headcount planning and capacity planning and all those lovely things that you get to do when you’re a female leader. I see you, I feel you. Remember you have totally got this.
But in the meantime, now is also a really, really, really good time to start working on your career aspirations and to start having those discussions with your boss. So, you know, you’re coming up towards end of year review time. I don’t want you to wait until your performance review discussion, which for some companies won’t actually happen until January or maybe even later. It’s really important that you really start to advocate for yourself because life is just too short and you have
way too much to give. OK, so in this week’s episode of the show, I’m going to be talking about why I believe you lack confidence in discussing your career aspirations with your boss. I’m going to reveal my top three tips with practical strategies to confidently discuss your career. And I’m going to share a little story from one of my clients who will hopefully inspire you to take action to have this conversation. And before I get into all of that,
If you’re listening to this live, I want to remind you that it’s not too late to join 360 Leaders Club. This is our final enrolment for 2024. We start on the 1st of October. 360 is my high level membership for ambitious, family -focused women in leadership who want to advance their careers with more confidence without sacrificing balance. And so this is right for you if you are a senior manager.
a director, associate director, VP, SVP, managing director, C -level, who really wants the support, who wants executive coaching, who wants leadership training, and who wants to have accountability and support to not only achieve your goals, but when you actually get there, to hold you accountable, to stay on the right path, so you don’t go off course, and to continue to grow and develop professionally and personally.
Lucy Gernon (03:22.306)
So if that sounds like something that you want, you can apply at 360leadersclub .com forward slash apply or you can book a call with me. The link will be below in the show notes where we can have a discussion and just see if it’s a good mutual fit. Because obviously, like if you’re going to invest in yourself, you’ve got to be sure that’s right for you. So I can listen to, I suppose, what you’re working towards. Listen to you and understand your blocks.
and then we can map out your personalised strategy to advance your career with more confidence and see if we’re a good fit to work together. So I’d love to chat. Just you can book a call at the link below or you can send me a DM if you’re listening to this live and we can have a chat. So all of that aside, I wanted to kind of share what prompted me to record this episode of the show. And it’s because something I’ve seen over and over and over and over again is
women who have really big career ambitions, who have tons of value to add to their organization. But they have this kind of a fear about actually making their aspirations known in case they come across as maybe being ungrateful. So one of our three sixty leaders club members, she has a clear vision of reaching the C -suite. OK. And she wasn’t quite sure if the timing was right.
if it was right time to bridge the discussion with her boss, because the business was quite volatile. There was lots of stuff happening in the business. She was working on a big project. She was under resourced. All of the things her boss was stressed and she was kind of going, no, it’s really, really not the right time. She knew that she wanted to progress. She had personal reasons for wanting to change roles. And she had lots of uncertainties.
She didn’t want to rock the boat, but she came to one of our coaching calls and she knew she needed to set some boundaries with her boss as well and really take a bold step. So I was able to support her, as were some of the ladies in the group who’d been in similar positions. And she decided to take a bold step forward and actually share her aspirations with her boss, despite her discomfort, despite thinking that it wasn’t the right time. OK.
Lucy Gernon (05:44.566)
Now, this conversation really wasn’t just about expressing her ambitions. It was a strategic move towards achieving her destiny. She had these desires for so long and she was waiting for the right time. And what she learned afterwards is that honestly, there is never a right time to do this. And by communicating your desires openly and confidently, just like my client did, you’re going to set a clear path forward for yourself.
So I’m just reading a couple of messages that she had said. She had said, thank you, Lucy and the girls on the coaching call for encouraging more me more about my desires. The universe created an opportunity with my boss and I spoke up. I shared my dream. We talked about possibilities, albeit limited now, but at least he knows it was a big relief. Thank you. One of our other ladies then, because of the momentum, she proactively set up a one to one with her boss.
to address some communication issues that were really bothering her and her team. And it went really well, which gave her the confidence and then she set boundaries. So I want you to know that like, you know, when you come to coaching calls with me, this is the beauty of it. Sometimes you’ll come and you’ll have a very clear challenge you want support with. And sometimes you’ll come just for the vibes, right? You’ll come just to learn from other people. And the beauty that happens is, that when you see one person taking action on something,
It inspires and motivates you to do the same because every week in 360, we celebrate wins in the community. And you don’t want to be the only one who hasn’t taken action. You don’t want to be the only one. So just with the kind of group support, it’s just so cool to watch the ladies support each other. So fast forward, going back to my client right now, she because of that initial conversation she had with her boss, she’s not only been acknowledged for her potential.
But she was then selected for a very coveted executive leadership program designed for future C -suite leaders within her organization. They do lots of business simulations and lots of different things tailored towards women who are leaders who want to specifically get into the C -suite around business, which was so cool. And this recognition not only boosted her confidence, but it also really solidified her certainty about her future career path.
Lucy Gernon (08:10.062)
And what’s great about her, you might say, she’s doing another program. Yes, she is not only an executive, OK, with a huge remit of responsibility, and she is in 360 Leaders Club, availing of executive coaching and leadership training, but she’s also doing an internal, intense executive leadership program as well. So I want you to know that this is, again, a really strong example of the women who actually achieve their career goals faster.
are the ones who invest in their professional development. OK, they’re the ones who invest in their professional development. And again, I’ve told you the statistic that 68 % of men in leadership roles have coaches as opposed to just 34 % of women. And then we wonder why we don’t have more women in senior leadership. Drives me crazy. So if you have access to the funds again, I would invite you to apply for 360leadersclub .com or reach out to me. We can have a chat.
This is your last chance for 2024. So let’s just talk a little bit about, you know, why you maybe might lack confidence to have the discussion with your boss. And then I’m going to give you three tips, OK, to help you to confidently discuss your aspirations. So the reason you might lack confidence is because of your childhood. I know I did. I know I was always told, you know, I was too talkative in school.
I was constantly told to be quiet. And as a result, think a lot of little girls were told little girls should be seen and not heard. I’ve heard a lot of my clients agree with me on that one. I know I was. And as a result, I thought that what I had to say didn’t really matter and that my job as a good little girl was to serve other people and do as I was told. Because as a child, when I did that, it kept me safe. But I want you to know that you’re an adult now.
You’re not a little girl anymore and they’re not going to bite. OK, they’re not going to actually physically bite you. You are safe. So it’s my invitation for you would be to really try to move from the energy of being a little girl and really step into that proper leader, that woman who is honestly she’s bursting to get out. If this is landing with you right now, I want you to know
Lucy Gernon (10:38.488)
This is coming from above. This is a message direct from your guardian angels, your spirit team, God, whatever you want to call them. If you’re feeling this in your body, I want you to know that it’s you’ve got to take action. OK, you do not have to wait anymore. This is your time. So I hope that little mindset shift helps you. And so if it has and then you might be going, right, OK.
I’m ready to go. I’m kind of feeling a little bit pumped up about maybe talking to my boss. Like, where do I start? So the first thing I invite you to do is decide what you want. You’ve got to get super clear on what you want, because when you know what you want, you want, it’s so easy to get there. But deciding what you want is the hardest part. And I used to make the mistake of thinking that there was a natural career path for me.
And that if I just worked really, really hard, somebody else was going to tell me what to do and they would offer me the opportunity. But it’s not how successful people operate. Successful people, they put the destination in the sat nav. OK, they put the destination in. They don’t drive aimlessly. So you’ve got to decide what you want. If you don’t know what you want, that’s why those coaches like me.
The second thing then is to shift your mindset. So many times I hear women feeling guilty about wanting things for themselves. How ridiculous does that sound? And I don’t mean that disrespectfully to you, I was exactly the same. So the mindset shift I invite you to make is that you’re part of a big organization and your goal is to add value to the business so that the company can continue to grow.
I wish somebody had told me this before. I’m going to say that again. Your goal is to add value to the business so the company can grow. Your goal is not to massage your boss’s ego. Your goal is not to tread on eggshells around your boss because you’re afraid, right? Your goal as an employee of your organization is to add value to the company. So if you have skills and talents that you believe are being underutilized, the onus is on you.
Lucy Gernon (13:02.626)
to showcase that, to remember that actually you’re not being disloyal by having a conversation with your boss, all right? It’s good bosses and good leaders will respect you. And if you don’t have a good boss, that’s all the more reason to have the conversation. So you can go and find somebody else that’s more aligned with you, your values and how you like to work. And the third thing that I invite you to think about is that your boss has done this too.
Everyone has had to have conversations with their boss at some point about their career aspirations. So remember, your boss doesn’t own you. OK, your boss doesn’t own you. I’ll tell you a quick story. I remember years ago, I had this male boss who couldn’t have given an absolute shit about me. So much so that it was really bad. And I think back, we were in a start up and he took over.
my department and I was new, like was my first management role and he had no interest in my area of the business literally. And he told me that like to my face that he didn’t have any interest. He didn’t know anything about it. And he wanted me basically to run it. Now, I didn’t have the experience to do what I did, but it taught me a lot. And he basically left me to my own devices and I wasn’t happy, but I was afraid to rock the boat. I was afraid to ask him for a one to one.
I was afraid to have discussions with him and I certainly didn’t tell him what I was doing. He had no idea the volume of work that was involved in that start up because I didn’t tell him. All right. He was just happy the job was getting done and nobody was leaping down his neck. So he was my boss for a couple of years, I think it was. And the whole time I worked my bloody ass off in the background, not promote myself and then wanting more.
And what happened? He decided to leave. So he left and went to a global role, lovely promotion, company car, the whole lot. And I was sitting there like an absolute pleb, right? Going, hang on a minute. I’ve been trying to people please this guy for a couple of years. He had no interest in me. He didn’t care about my career aspirations. Now he’s gone. He’s moved on and I’m stuck here.
Lucy Gernon (15:27.15)
So I want you to remember this for yourself is that your boss has done this too and you’re nothing wrong. Okay. You’re doing nothing wrong by having the conversation. But I do know that it is tricky to actually find the confidence and to hold yourself accountable to doing it. So that’s exactly why if you’re interested in working with me, I would love to be that support and accountability buddy for you. In 360 in October,
for our new cohort, we’re doing our 1 % comfort zone challenge again. So during that challenge will be an absolutely perfect time for you to take action on this. And again, if you’re interested in joining us, you can just go to 360leadersclub .com forward slash apply. The link will be in the show notes as well. If you want to book a call with me to discuss it, you can get the link in the show notes too. So if you enjoyed this episode of the show, I would really recommend that you listen to episode 114.
which is called the career progression formula, 11 % pay rise, headcount approval and boss successor in under six months, where I’m sharing a really, really powerful story of one of my clients. And then episode number 120, which is how to successfully negotiate a higher salary at work. Because lovely lady, I want you to own your worth. You need to be compensated for the value you create for your organization.
Not the value you place on yourself, by the way. And again, that’s something I can support you with to really realize how fucking valuable you are. Excuse my French. You deserve to be compensated appropriately. All right. We need to start closing this gender pay gap. More women need to start advocating for themselves. And I am there for that. So if you enjoyed this week’s episode of the show, can you please do me a favor and just rate and review it?
just go to Apple or Spotify, click the five stars, leave a little five star review. I would so appreciate it because Katie, my podcast manager and Ali, who is my podcast assistant as well, like they edit the audio, they do the show notes, they look at all the KPIs. We look at the performance. We do like a happy dance. Every single time we see a review coming in, it gives us so much energy back. So I want you to know there’s like real people and a team behind this podcast.
Lucy Gernon (17:46.934)
And we would really, really love to hear your feedback. So please do drop us a note or write us a review wherever you listen to the show. So that’s it for this week’s episode, guys. Looking forward to talking to you again. Same time, same place next week. Bye for now.