217 Corporate Confessions Part 1: The Cringey Rubber Duck Moment with a Merck Executive That Almost Killed my Career

Lucy Gernon (00:03.298)

Have you ever had a really embarrassing moment at work that nearly killed your career? One of those moments where you feel like you just want the ground to swallow you up whole and chew you and spit you back out. That’s exactly what happened to me a few years ago when, let’s just say, there was a rubber duck involved, a very, very senior Merck executive, and a beautiful manor house. And it’s a moment in my career I will never forget. So today we are kicking off the very first part in our Corporate Confessions series. It’s a three-part series I’ve recorded for you.

 

just to show you the good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing side that we all experience when it comes to work. So I hope that you enjoy the series and definitely tune into today’s episode. If you want to find out about those rubber ducks, I think you’re going to find the story very, very funny.

 

Lucy Gernon (00:51.2)

Hello, lovely lady, and welcome back to another episode of the 360 Leadership Podcast. I’m very excited to bring something different to the podcast today as I’m kicking off my three part corporate confessions series for you all. So sometimes I feel like this podcast, you know, we tackle a lot of good stuff in terms of, you know, mindset and tactics. But sometimes I think that

 

I might sound like I have it all together and I absolutely don’t. I just have the tools and lots of embarrassing stories like I’m going to share with you over the next couple of weeks. So I have recorded this three part series for you and I’m going to be sharing the embarrassing stories and pivotal moments in my career where massive lessons were learned. And yeah, I just really wanted to bring a bit more fun and a bit more of my personality and my stories to the podcast because

 

despite being quite polished and obviously professional and I have all my degrees and all of that good stuff. There’s still a real person under here who messes up all the time. So today’s confession is a story that still makes me cringe. Like if you’re watching this on YouTube, you’re probably going to see my face. Like I mean, die cringe. So if you’ve ever tried too hard to be liked at work or if you’re a bit of a people pleaser. This one, you’re going to feel it.

 

because this one actually sabotaged my credibility and you’re going to feel this in your soul. And here’s why this one matters. It’s not really about me and my story. I’m sharing this because this one pattern that I exhibited for way too long might be the exact reason that you’re getting overlooked, that you’re not taken as seriously while you’re watching others glide past you. So let me get into the story before I share some tips with you on this. Let’s talk about rubber ducks.

 

So picture this, I’m early in my career. I’m thinking about 2010. I was in the pharmaceutical industry and I was at this big fancy dinner in this beautiful old manor house, storage and manner and loads of land. And I was one of only, I think there was only 10 of us that were selected to go out with this executive leadership team. At the time I was working in MSD or Merck, which is a huge multinational pharmaceutical company with, know,

 

Lucy Gernon (03:06.318)

sites all over the world, multi-billion dollar company. And so like, I felt really accomplished. I was super excited to be working there. I couldn’t believe I got a job there. You know, I was like, oh my God, like they must see something in me. Even though now I can see I had a master’s, I had a quality director role before of that and all of these things. But back then I didn’t believe in myself in the same way. But anyway, so we’re sitting there, picture this. have.

 

candlelight, we have beautiful big windows, crystal glasses, the works. And I’m sitting there and the executive leadership team had flown in on their private jet, I assume, from the US. And somehow I ended up sitting beside, I think he was the president of the division. Like, you know, I’m young enough, this is a big deal for me. So he starts telling this story at the table, we’re sitting down, you know, we’re making pleasantries, we’re saying hi and all of that. And I was just…

 

so immature and excited. And he started telling this story about, it was around Halloween time and we were talking about Halloween and he was sharing something really personal that I still remember about him, which is interesting for you leaders in terms of sharing personal stories about how his wife gives kids yellow rubber ducks instead of like sweets and candy every Christmas. And it was really cute story, just normal small talk that he was making.

 

Now, I do not know what came over me. I don’t know. it my nerves? Was it my need to be liked, to be seen? Was it my ADHD, which I didn’t know I had then? Or is it the fact that I was just desperate to make a good impression? My brain just launched onto those bloody ducks and I went completely overboard and I was like, oh my God, that’s so cool. Rubber ducks. Like, that’s amazing. How creative is that?

 

It was like I discovered the cure for cancer. Like, I’m not joking. And we were making products at the time which were going to cure cancer, ironically. But it didn’t stop there. no. I kept going. And it was like I was using ducks as my entire personality. I was asking follow up questions about the ducks, where she got the ducks. I was practically planning a rubber duck museum. And this poor guy, you know…

 

Lucy Gernon (05:20.782)

obviously just said this thing in passing. And I’m there trying to make conversation about this. And he literally, I remember sitting there like I still cringe. And I don’t blame him. Like he kind of like turned his body away from me mid conversation, like a full shoulder pivot. And he started talking to the other person on his other side and I was literally invisible. And the rest of the dinner, I just sat there going, my gosh, you’re such an idiot. Why didn’t you just be cool? Like, why did you have to get all excited about things?

 

And I sat there for three whole hours just knowing I’d blown it. And, you know, he did engage with me, but I think he was probably like, this one is crazy. Like, this is not the kind of person I want to have a conversation with. And she’s definitely not, you know, mature enough to be whatever. So here’s what I realized looking back. I was a people pleaser and I was doing my best to be liked. And when you try to be liked,

 

It actually has the opposite effect. People repel you and you will destroy your credibility and your executive presence, your leadership presence, because people can smell desperation a mile off and they can feel when you’re performing and, you know, clutching onto rubber ducks like I was. And in that moment, I went from having an opportunity to really showcase, by the way, my abilities and

 

what I had done in my area and all the great things that we had planned. And I completely blew it because I chose to focus on bloody rubber ducks. And I just became that weird girl who talked with the ducks. So if I had to do it all over again, I would have just, you know, engaged and said, that’s really cool and shared my own story about maybe what I did at Halloween and been more interested in things he had to say about, you know, the business.

 

and himself as opposed to me trying to force a conversation about something which really was just a passing comment. Like, I didn’t want to act like a bloody rubber duck fan, but that’s literally what I did. But here’s the part that I think is going to hit you is that this pattern followed me for years. I was always over talking in meetings, saying way too much, being way too animated, know, nearly like saying yes before people were finished.

 

Lucy Gernon (07:48.014)

And you know what, cost me because probably it cost me a couple of years of career progression because when you’re the eager people pleaser, you are not seen as a strategic leader. And there’s a deeper pattern to this too, is that even as you progress in your career, even though you might not be talking about rubber ducks and being an idiot like I was, I’m sure you’ve been there where you’ve said things or you’ve tried to please when really they didn’t feel right for you.

 

And you knew as the words that were coming out of your mouth that what you were saying sounded a bit silly or you wish you hadn’t said something. And I want to share that with you because I want you to know that you’re not alone if you’ve ever messed up like that. And if I can share my story with you about rubber ducks, OK, it gets worse than that. And if it does, definitely send me a DM on Instagram or LinkedIn. I did a corporate confessions box on my stories a little while ago.

 

And I got some quite saucy things in from people confessing things from their corporate days. So, yeah, I’d love to hear from you. I might do that again on Instagram. So definitely go follow me on Instagram and on LinkedIn. My name is just Lucy Gernon. So you can get to know me a bit more personally on Instagram and then you’ll see more maybe professional content on LinkedIn. But still me, still authentic, very important. But yeah, so let’s get back to you. Like there is a deeper pattern and at senior leadership levels, it looks like this.

 

If you’re over preparing for meetings, then barely, you know, barely speaking up when you actually get there because you’re afraid or if you find yourself agreeing with the loudest person in the room or agreeing with your boss, even when you know they’re wrong and maybe you might push back a little bit, but are you strong enough to actually stand your ground? Or if you’re sending those kind of, you know,

 

just checking in emails that are really screaming desperation. want to show your leadership. Or maybe if you’re just the one that’s volunteering for everything and you’re not focusing on strategic work or you are doing everything you can to please and you think the way to get recognition and to get promoted and to get to where you want to be is to, you know, lack boundaries and to people please. And I promise you, it’s absolutely not. The leaders who were the most

 

Lucy Gernon (10:11.286)

successful. In my experience, are the leaders who know their value, who show up authentically, who have a crystal clear vision on where they’re going, who own their worth and know the value that they bring to their company. And they feel so confident in themselves that they don’t need to people please. They don’t need to say yes, they can set boundaries because they make sense for their business, not just for themselves. And to get to that place.

 

It all starts with you loving you first. Because if you don’t love yourself and if you don’t rate yourself fully, you’re constantly just going to chase that external validation from others. And it’s something I hear from our ladies, some of our ladies in 360 Leaders Club. It’s this whole thing about needing external validation. And

 

One thing I love to work with women on is that whole area because it’s usually deep rooted. It’s usually something that you’ve had since childhood and it is something that you need to break if you want to set yourself free of that feeling. Because every time that you chase external validation, just like I did with my rubber ducky story, you reduce your authority, you decrease your credibility and you are not seen as a peer.

 

And I know that’s not your intention and it certainly was not mine, but that’s just a fact. And going back to that executive in my day, he could smell my neediness and neediness and people pleasing does not get you places. Confidence does. So if you were listening to this thinking, OK, that’s me. That’s good, because awareness is the first step. But awareness without action

 

is just torture. You’ll stay trapped in this loop of constantly people pleasing, looking for validation, plain small, allowing other people to steal your power. And you’ll notice yourself doing it, but you’ll just, you don’t want to, you just won’t be able to get out of it. It’s not about you being funnier or more interesting or more charming. It’s about you believing with all of your body, all of your soul, all of your mind that you belong at that table.

 

Lucy Gernon (12:34.252)

without the performance. That just by you being there, they should be fricking grateful. Because here’s what no one tells you. The women who are the most successful, who can lead with confidence, who get recognized, who get opportunities and still have time to go to the gym and drink their matcha lattes and, you know, do all those things. You’re like, how am I so frantic? I’m doing all of the hours. Why is he or she getting ahead? Why is he going off?

 

cycling with the boys at five o’clock when I’m still here, you know, trying to close out this thing. It’s that they’re not trying to be liked. They’re not wasting energy giving it out externally. They focus on themselves. And if they need to develop themselves, if they need to do the work on and for themselves, they do it no matter how uncomfortable it is, because they’re not trying to be liked. They’re being respected. And that is a massive difference. So I invite you.

 

To have a think about one situation recently where you overdid it, where you tried too hard. Maybe you over explained your point until everyone’s eyes glaze over and you noticed heads down the laptop or if you were on Teams or Zoom, maybe cameras were off and it was crickets. Or maybe you just laughed at the wrong moment when your boss or somebody made a joke and it just didn’t land.

 

Or maybe you said, yeah, no problem. Sure. I’ll take that when somebody dumped something on your desk at five o’clock last minute. That moment, that’s your rubber duck. And that’s where your people pleasing is sabotaging your leadership, your progression, stealing your time, stealing your energy. And every time you do it, you train people to see you as the eager helper, the safe pair of hands, the doer.

 

and not the strategic leader. And if you really want to be seen as strategic and you really want to excel in your career without masking being somebody or not, without people pleasing, with full boundaries, with full ownership of your power, you’ve got to do the work for yourself. OK, you’ve got to do the work for yourself.

 

Lucy Gernon (14:59.692)

So I have something free I’m going to give you today to help with this. And it’s one of my favorite mindset tools that I still use all of the time. And if you are thinking, okay, shit, this is why I’m feeling stuck or I have too many of those moments or anything like that, this is going to help you to really boost your self belief and boost your own confidence massively. Because like I said, you cannot ever seek external validation because

 

As I’ve just said to a client I was on a coaching call with, when we’re seeking external validation, you’re actually not looking for validation. What you’re looking for is reasons you’re not enough. And my message to you today, lovely lady, is that you absolutely are enough. You always have been enough. And it’s time that you saw it. So I invite you to download my free guide. All you’ve got to do is go to Lucy Garnon.

 

and I will link it in the show notes. And in this guide, I will give you my five steps to help you to lead with more self belief. Now, this is really great if you have imposter syndrome, but it’s also fantastic if you find that you second guess yourself, you doubt your abilities, and sometimes you might lack confidence or you find yourself people pleasing or you find yourself looking for that external validation. It all starts with you loving you.

 

And that all starts with you building up your self belief. So I’m going to give you my belief boost method framework. And in this workbook, you’ll get little sections you can fill out in it. And this is the exact framework that’s had hundreds of my clients to stop seeking approval and start commanding respect. It’s the same method I held one of my clients. I’m going to call her S. She is a senior director in pharma, this lady, and she has used it to stop playing small.

 

to own the room, to stop letting dominant red energy take over, to handle conflict because she now owns her voice. And as a result, she was literally sought out very recently to lead a huge part of her organization. It’s a couple of different kind of projects from different divisions because she’s seen as a strategic person. OK, this was actually asked for from sea level that she took this particular thing. So I want you to know that.

 

Lucy Gernon (17:19.18)

The only reason she did that is nothing to do with hard work. It’s because she started to show up differently and you can do that too. So your first step is to go to lucygarnon.com forward slash imposter and grab that guide. And here’s something else that you really do not want to miss. If you are listening to this live, I am hosting a free masterclass live.

 

in January, the very end of January 2026. And this is where I’m going to teach you live, me, you and another hundred women. cannot absolutely wait to do this masterclass. It’s been a year since I’ve done this masterclass, so I’m buzzing for it. And I’m going to be teaching you how to really step into and unlock your most confident self in 2026 so you can really lead the way you want to, so you can make the impact that you want to, so you can stop people pleasing. And so you finally have time to.

 

be strategic so that they see you as strategic so that you get the opportunities that you absolutely deserve. So if you want to access that masterclass, my newsletter subscribers will always get first dibs on everything. I take very good care of anybody who’s on my email list, send out weekly content, reminders about this podcast, special offers and everything like that. So if you are not on my email list, you are totally missing out because they’re going to find out first on the Masterclass too.

 

So just head over to lucygarnon.com forward slash newsletter and get yourself on it so that you get the information about the masterclass. And we will be releasing it after my newsletter people get it. We will be releasing it publicly, but don’t miss out and get on my email list, okay? So go and grab the guide lucygarnon.com forward slash imposter if you feel called. And if you wanna get on my email list to get the information about the juicy masterclass before anyone else head to lucygarnon.com forward slash newsletter.

 

We’ll pop both links in the show notes anyway. So that is it for today’s episode. And just as I finish up, I invite you to please, please, please learn from my rubber duck humiliation so that you don’t have to experience your own version. Like I still cringe if I ever see that guy, I’ll die. Because here’s the truth. Every time that you perform for approval, you are pushing your progression further away. OK, you’re pushing it away.

 

Lucy Gernon (19:36.544)

Love yourself first and respect will follow. Opportunities will follow. Everything else will follow. Stop auditioning for a role that you already have. You’ve already made the frickin cut. It’s time to start getting ready for your next audition. So that’s it for this episode. Next week, I’m very excited to be back with Corporate Confessions Part 2. And this is where I’m going to share another

 

mortifying story that taught me a massive lesson about leadership. And trust me, if you think this rubber duck so bad next week is another story for you. And if you resonate with this episode and you feel like, my God, my female leader colleagues really need to this rubber duck story and they need to hear all the great stuff that we do in this podcast. Please, please, please. Just if it resonated, just send it. If you see it on social media, send our social media promotion to your friends. If you get an email.

 

forward it on to your women’s network or if you’ve got any groups of women in leadership that you’re with or friends, just please help me to spread the word about this. I would so, so value it. And as always, like, just please reach out to me and tell me. I’m not alone with the rubber ducks. I can’t believe I told you. But anyway, that’s it for this week’s episode of the show. See you next week for part two of the series. Until then, next time, same time, same place. Bye for now.