Starting a Business at 40, Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & Mom Guilt with Emma Butler

Welcome back to this week’s episode of The Lucy Gernon Show. I am delighted to be joined by the fantastic Emma Butler of White Meadow Interiors. Emma is an award winning interior designer and a relocation services provider. And she is here today to tell us all about her journey from lacking confidence to becoming this superstar.

 

interior designer. So Emma, you’re very welcome to the show today. Thank you so much. Thank you. That’s quite the introduction. Listen, we were just talking about that. You deserve every bit of it. So introduce yourself like welcome to the show and like tell people who you are. Thank you. So I’m Emma Butler and I’m originally from Great Nemanagh and I live in Burris now in County Carlow and I’m an interior designer. But like I say, I’ve also set up a new business called Relocate Ireland, which is like

 

specialist concierge service for people that are relocating to Ireland and want to set up a home here in advance of moving here. Amazing. And you obviously, Emma and I know each other because we were in like a women’s women and business network together. And then I hired Emma to redesign my bedroom. And I swear to God, like you just did an unbelievable job, like absolutely unbelievable. But like share a little bit about your story about

 

how you started White Meadow Interiors and what brought you here today? OK, well, it just feels like a long version. can try and condense it, but I’ve always just had such a crazy passion for interior design, but genuinely just always feeling like, well, it’s not something I could do for a career because I’m not good enough to do that. Like, I’m definitely not fancy enough. I’m definitely not polished enough. And that’s what I thought interior designers were.

 

and I would have found that whole ream very intimidating to dip my toe in even. then, but I always did up houses and I always did families and friends and, you know, people asked me to like for advice and stuff like that. And then when I hit 40, I was my dad gave me some money and he gave me this little envelope and he was like, here now, here, do something good with that.

 

And you’re not allowed to spend it on the house, you’re not allowed to spend it on the kids. And at the time we were stony broke, like we were so poor. And like I came home with this envelope of money to my husband going, look how much money my dad gave me for my birthday. And he instantly started going, my God, we could pay this off. We could finish this in the house. We could do this. And I was like, no, ⁓ I have to spend this just on me. That’s what my dad said. That’s the rule. And it was like…

 

It was a mad mind shift then. And then I was scrolling on Facebook one day and it said, do you dream of being an interior designer? I was like, like literally the lights came on and I was like, my God, that is what I want to do. And I looked up the course and it was the exact money that was in the end. Wow. If that is not alignment. So that was such a sign. And like I did it. And I remember like going to Lara going, I know what I’m going to do with the money. And he was like, we had serious arguments over it. Like

 

He was just like, you know, you’ll lose interest in doing this and you know, you’ll waste the money. we have so many better things that we need to be doing with this money. Please don’t do this. I just had this really strong like I have to. It’s like a calling like it sounds like. Unreal. It was just like, if I don’t do this, I might die. Like I have to do this, Larrick. You know, I need you to support me on this. And he was like.

 

Grant, look, there’s something behind it. eat beans for the next year. Well, like, kind of, I to have to go up to UCD on a Saturday at, leave the house at six o’clock. He used to work extra hours on Saturday. So it was a big thing. Like, even like the petrol up was a thing. But it was a huge confidence thing. Like, I remember driving up there the first day and I was rattling with the nerves. Like, I hadn’t been back to school on dyslexic, my DHT. That environment does not work for me.

 

Um, so I felt so intimidated and nervous that I was going to walk into this room and just feel really stupid. I remember stopping like on the side of the road and just being like, turn around and go home. This is not for you. You’ve just don’t cry. It’s usually me. okay. It is something really emotional because it was a huge thing to get over. And then it was like someone slapped me across the head and just went, go for it. Give it your best shot. Go full hours.

 

at it, like don’t half-arse this. If you’re going to do it, take every opportunity that comes your way. Say yes to everything. Just give it full socks and see how it goes. And what was the result? We paid off our mortgage. Yes, you did. Yes, we did. Like last year. Really fortunate. We just worked really, really hard on it. Paid off the mortgage.

 

Did you win an award or two maybe along the way, by any chance, maybe featured anywhere? Four awards. Four awards. I’ve been Irish Independent, the Business Post, speaking at the Ideal Home Show, speaking representing Carlo in International Women’s Day of Business. You were flown to Italy weren’t you as well? Flew to Italy for a trade trip.

 

went to Spain last year on a trade trip, gone to Italy again this year after Easter. And I was on Ireland Day there before Christmas. Wow. So that was only five years ago that I was nearly puking in my car. I’ve known you all of that time. Like I’ve just seen like, you know, a huge I just love to see like you really own who you are now. think like I, know, Emma, if you meet Emma Guy in person, hopefully you’ll see her today. She’s the most

 

warm, bubbly, not unassuming, like beautiful energy. And you’ve got such creative, like you’re so creative, even though like, you know, you’re fun, you’re bubbly, you’re creative. You’re also like, like when you did my bedroom, like you just saw things and I am quite creative. I like to think I am. I didn’t see your vision. I couldn’t see what you did in my room. Like we basically sectioned off my room. I’ve got like a walk in wardrobe side. I just.

 

your creativity, your energy and everything is just amazing. And for you to actually, think, finally, I’m starting to kind of feel like you’re owning that. It’s just is amazing. So like, what was the point for you that you stopped second guessing yourself and really went, you know what? I’m good at what I do. I deserve this. I don’t know. I think like the whole imposter syndrome, like. I imposter syndrome is not. That.

 

I don’t know how to do things. It’s just I am not used to doing things. So when I would have started this, I would have pulled up to every job and been like really nervous and shaking. And then every time I would have presented a design to a client, I would have been really like, my God, I hope they like it. hope they like it. But I’ve done that so many times now that now it’s like, no, I know this is the best thing for the room. I knew like presenting your bedroom. It was a bit kind of an unusual thing that it was like, right, we’re going to do this. And I remember

 

We were in your bedroom and we literally had you were like, I don’t understand. I don’t know what you mean. Like that’s going to go there. And we took out we took out your ironing board ⁓ and a sheet like show. Look, this is how much is going to come out in the room. That was the section off the room with the wardrobes. And I just couldn’t see that like walk. But you were like it is you just knew exactly what it was going to look like. We were literally marking out the floor and I made it. And we flipped it all around. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And yeah, your bedroom was fabulous.

 

feeling like a hotel suite. was the vibe, wasn’t it? That was the vibe, the luxury hotel suite. As far from hotel suites, was worried. But you’re there now and we love it, aren’t we? We love it. We love an old hotel vibe. We love an old hotel vibe. yeah, like so you just was there a specific moment? Was it winning the awards? Was it like a client or was it just age or what was

 

I don’t know what it was. There was like a whole collection of different things that would have happened.

 

I suppose like kind of it was lovely getting invited in the trips. It was like, oh my God, you’re really you are an interior designer now. You’re real. I remember the first few times I used to be saying that to people. Well, what do you do? well, I’m an interior designer. I always used to feel like such a fraud saying out loud. But now it’s like something I’m really proud of. the beginning as well, I think I would have tried to fit in the mold of what interior designers were and I would have like had tried to wear suits and heels and.

 

talk very professionally and I gave that up and I just really like moulded into me and now my suits are jumpsuits and I wear runners and I say fucking shit and you know like and I talk to my clients just like this is who I am and you either I’m not for everyone like I’m Marmite you either really like me and if you really like me you love me and if you really don’t like me you really hate me and like

 

I love that, like I get the clients that know my personality and they like my personality. And then you don’t have to break down who you are. Yeah. And I think that’s the same for everybody, though. think I know for me growing up, I always had this thing. I wanted people to like me. And therefore I was a people pleaser until I was 40, like you when I had to pay for it as well. But I realized and one thing I definitely have learned is like

 

Nobody is for everybody. We’re not supposed to all get along. Not everybody is supposed to like you. Not everyone is supposed to like me because what a boring world would it be? It would mean we’d all have the same interests. We’d all have the same viewpoints. We’d all have the same values. We’re not all supposed to get along. But I think one thing that I’ve seen that really binds even the people who don’t like you or don’t like me, they will still learn about authenticity from you and I because

 

No, but what I mean by that is like we can all relate to you, even if you don’t like somebody like, say, for example, I’m going to say Colin McGregor, right? Can’t stand the man, right?

 

But I’ve learned from him because he’s authentically himself, he’s audacious, he doesn’t really give a shit. Do I like him? No, but has sometimes I’m like, you know, if I see him to certain things he does. So I think that’s one thing that gives me comfort is kind of knowing that people kind of take something from you, even if they don’t like you or not. And like you’re not supposed to be for everybody. Yeah, you know.

 

Exactly. And I think kind of very similar that I would have always liked wanted people to like me. And this and now this is still a job that I do that I want people to like what they have. That is, I am people pleasing. Of course I am professional. But I’m professionally pleasing you because you’re paying me to give you what you want. Like, you know, I want you to be happy with what I’ve done. We all want that. But like, I no longer.

 

mauled myself for be around people that make me feel less of who I am anymore. just really, I really surround myself with amazing women, I suppose, people that genuinely lift me up. I am so blessed. found like such a lovely community. The networks met some wonderful women there. They’ve really helped me on my journey, like a hundred percent just like that support that you’ve got this. I love that. then

 

And in the interior design world, like I have met some of the most fabulous people that are just become really, really good friends. And I just feel really, really lucky that I found my I found my tribe. But it’s true, right? Yeah. ⁓ I love that. And the other thing then I want to kind of just shift gears slightly is around interior tips, right?

 

I know everybody’s taste and style is different, but if somebody is listening or watching today, I’d love to know what would maybe three top tips be to create a space?

 

that you love and you can go anywhere with this that you want that comes to mind. I think everyone has the right to live in a home that they love. I think everyone should have rooms in their house that they just like, this is me. This is totally me for you. It’s your bedroom. Yeah. ⁓ for me, it would be my office and that’s like, that’s not like any taste. That’s just a hundred percent my

 

weird taste that like I probably wouldn’t put into anyone’s home. But I love it. I love everything in there. I love I think you should look around your favorite room and be like, I love that and I love that and I love that. The biggest interior tip I’d give anyone is declutter your home. Yeah. Like that is huge. If you start decluttering your home, not only do you start feeling better in your house.

 

Everything looks bigger. Everything looks brighter. Everything is kind of mentally clearer.

 

Three tips. Paint colors. I think I’m picking a paint. My husband’s a painter. Your husband is a painter. Yes he is. surely is. Check him out at Brushworks. Brushworks Ireland on Instagram. He’s fantastic painter. He’s a very thorough painter. He’s very good. Paint colors. It doesn’t, your home doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. It’s just what you love. Like if you need help with doing stuff like that, definitely get help.

 

out, there’s loads of help out there. But kind of stay away from AI generated images on Pinterest, because that’s not real. That’s not real. They’re a good inspiration. If you walk into a space as well, think if you like the feel of it, that’s how I designed my bedroom. I went to a lot of like luxury, beautiful luxury hotels and I was like, why can’t I have my version of this? I don’t have to get the same.

 

standard as like the marble and everything, but I can do my version because I knew what I wanted it to feel like because I experienced it. So I find like I think when you’re I think I’m not a fucking designer, but I think if you go into someone’s home and you like, I really love the feel of this, I think that’s some sort of a signal. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And we got some stone into your bedroom. I remember we did get a fax. Sorry, we do have some beautiful stone table in my bedroom. We have some gorgeous stuff there.

 

But like everyone can create, I think everyone should have a hotel style bedroom. it’s doable. But what’s your thing in a hotel is there’s no clutter in it. There’s none of your stuff on it. So that’s why we like it. It’s like textures. It’s like layering of textures that makes it feel richer. And that’s what you did with mine, isn’t it? Like Emma basically segregated my bedroom. all of my, remember you saying to me.

 

that I could put like all of my clothes and everything on one side. then my bedroom side would be completely clutter free. Like I used to sleep looking at your mirror that had like clutter behind it because I couldn’t have too much stuff. Like that was such a gift for my mental health as well. Never mind the sleep. And I remember your room, the way it was laid up. I love the whole practice of Feng Shui and I kind of incorporate that into designs as well as much as I possibly can. Your room was

 

the way it was set up, like at the door it was so wrong and facing a mirror so wrong for your energy. Like that the way it is set up now, it’s so much better for your I’m going to have to have it for me. Like I want to see her inside the room. I will try to get someone on my team to try and put in a little still or something on the video or if not, you can go to Emma’s Instagram or my Instagram and it’ll be there somewhere on mine for sure anyway. It was lovely. OK, so I’d love like.

 

to understand that as well. Obviously, you’re a busy, busy woman. You’re a creative, like I’m sure that takes a lot of energy and time. And there’s a lot of stuff that goes into your work. Like I’ve seen you do a lot of stuff, you know, even like what your clients picking out. Like you care a lot about the detail. But how do you manage your mother as well? Right. Your mother, your wife, your travel all over. Like, how do you manage it

 

I think you had said to me before, how do you balance it all? I don’t think there is a balance.

 

I don’t think, I think you have to incorporate the two worlds. I really do. You always feel as if you’re failing someone. If I’m not in my office or with my clients and working on my business, I feel really guilty that I’m not doing that. And I’m like, my God, you should be doing more. You should be like, you know, but then if I am running home and it’s late and I’m not home till like nine o’clock and the kids are just about to go to bed.

 

I feel really crap on them that I’m like, you’re a terrible mother. I don’t. Do you know? How do you do that then? Because I believe that balance is a feeling, right? I don’t believe in like work life balance that, you know, you work 95 and you do all of this. I think it’s a feeling. And I always say like, obviously, this is what I do with people as well as around this whole thing is like you mentioned actually, funny enough, at the start of this, which is something I actually said in the last episode when you didn’t even know.

 

which is why I’m going to bring it in now, is like whatever you do, don’t half ass it. Right. And Matthew McConaughey said that on Instagram. I was saying, right. So if you’re sitting there and you’re with your clients and then you’re kind of feeling guilty that you’re not with your family, you’re not fully present. If you’re with your family and you’re worrying about work, you’re not fully present. So you’re kind of I always kind of feel like I I segmented in my mind. I feel like I can only I think you.

 

only juggle three things at one time for me, it’s like work, family and health. They would be the top kind of three things for somebody else might be work, family, finance, whatever the three things that are most important to you. And you can always only have two balls in the air at one time. And one of those balls is going to be dropped. Right. So like, let’s say, for example, if you were like really focused on your family and you’re really focused on your your business or your career, your health is going to probably struggle. So I think it’s coming to terms with the fact that that’s life.

 

that you cannot be all things to all people all of the time. What we can do is give yourself some compassion and be like, am I feeling in alignment with my values around family? Like if that’s what I do, I kind of just think about it as a feeling as opposed to being like, I don’t feel guilty. Like when I’m. I did used to, but I realized I was teaching my kids the wrong thing. I was like teaching my girls like, you know, you have to feel guilty if you’re out working. ⁓

 

And I don’t want that for them. So they know that I have my work time and then I try, you know, I kind of regiment a little bit around like trying to be present and having that quality time with them. Even if it’s five minutes of a conversation, eye contact, it all the science and all the research shows it’s about quality, not quantity. I think it’s like I think it’s mindset shifts with women that like you cannot split yourself in two. And if you’re trying to do that, you’re going to live your whole life feeling guilty and no one’s getting the best of you.

 

getting the best of you. So it’s like I could just compartmentalize and be like, right, today I’m or this time is my business time and I’m going to give it my all. And you know what? I’m going to do whatever I need to do before I walk out with that office to sign off. Like I have little tips and tools I do. Am I perfect 100 % of the time? Hell no. But if I find the guilt slipping in or I find that I’m like, oh no, no, this is not good. This is not going to help anybody. So yeah, that’s how I do it. We’ve had a big

 

kind of shake up their large, they’re used to working construction and he was a site manager and he’d like 40 lads and he was trying to organize all them and he was really busy and he was out the door in the morning at six o’clock and most events he wasn’t home till like seven o’clock and then, you know, we’ve horses at home as well and so he’d be out doing those. So it’d be eight o’clock. We’re in bed like

 

by half nine. I love going to bed early. We all do as we get older, don’t we? I love it. I love it. I am up early, but I love going to bed early. But like we literally had no time and Lara got an opportunity for a job where it’s just a lot less hours, a lot less stressful. He’s 10 minutes over the road with his job. And he took like, he took a bit of a pay cut to take the job. But

 

the extra time that he has. We all have breakfast together now every morning and Lara manages all that like and Lara like brings kids to school. So if I need to be out the door now, I can be gone.

 

When I come home, then he could have the dinner. It’s after and taken so much pressure off us as a family, because before we were just like meeting each other and running out the door. Both of us were under pressure. Both of us were really busy with work and.

 

we couldn’t have continued. again, it was kind of like, if one of us has to take a step back and do something less, and then this opportunity came again, like guidance from above this opportunity came in and it was like, you should go for that. And I just, don’t think we could go back to now life beforehand, but him having this new job is also that kind of gives me an awful lot more freedom that I can be out and about and doing things. I suppose kind of go back to like kind of what you’re saying.

 

I’d have my phone on silent for 90 percent of the time. I put my phone on at nine o’clock or half nine after the kids have gone to school and then it goes off again on silent from about four or five o’clock. So like if you get me at that time, great. But if you don’t, I’ll come back to you in the morning. So you’re doing it. You’re then you’re just feeling guilty for no reason. It’s just a woman. It’s a woman thing. It’s thing that you just feel guilty of. do what you just said. You’re literally like my phone is on silent. You’re with your clients. It sounds like you’re present with your kids.

 

Why are we beating ourselves up? Let’s just leave it in this room. Yeah. Like and everybody listening today because women, just that’s I think it’s a huge thing. We hold ourselves back and like from an energetic perspective, like I’m big into like manifestation energy and I studied physics years ago. I fucking hated it. And now I finally understand it because I’m like, oh, I can manifest with this stuff. So if you think about energetically, when you’re we’ve got like an energy, there’s an energy range. You’ve got high frequency. You’ve got low frequency.

 

So your high frequency, the highest one is joy. And then you’ve got transcendence, which is like you basically transcend like your your body and you’re just like high, I suppose, for all the world. I won’t talk about drugs in this podcast. But you know what mean? It’s called transcendence. Joy is the highest frequency. then on the lower end, you’ve got things like guilt, shame. All of those things. And then, you know, you kind of move up and you’ve got more velocity as the energetics, the frequency increases.

 

So if you are sitting there in a guilt fest, right? Feeling sorry for yourself. Not you, me. Guilt, shame. my God, I’m not good enough. my God. All of these things. Guess what? Like you’re going to actually manifest more of that. So you have to fake it. I think I’m saying like, I feel guilty if I’m not there with the kids. I don’t really. You’re just saying what you think you should. But I probably am saying what I think I should. I love when I’m working.

 

I love it. Like I will get up at five o’clock in the morning and go down to my office and sit there. And I mean, that’s my happy place. I’m sitting there and I’m designing something or I’m pulling stuff together and I can see something that other people can’t. And I’m trying to like explain that in a way that people can understand it. And that is me literally living my best life. And then like

 

kids come down, we all have breakfast together. and then like I don’t even do that. My kids. think maybe, you know, what might be a wonder is it that we we don’t really feel guilty, but we think we should feel guilty and so we all talk about mom guilt. Yeah. And then we we infect each other with this thing that you’re not a good mother. I think it is unless you’re feeling guilty about working. But what if we change the narrative? Like we’re not in the 60s anymore. No. My mom stayed at home for the majority of our life. She had like a couple of smaller jobs, like.

 

I really valued the fact that she was there when I came home from school. All of those things. And I used to feel so guilty because I didn’t I wasn’t able to do that for my kids in the same way. But then I made little shifts because it was important for me that I kind of can do that. You know, so I think it’s just I think it’s changing the narrative around it that it’s OK to be both. You don’t have to. Definitely. And like kind of the same as yourself, I have doors and.

 

What a big massive thing for me like last year was I had won the award with Network Ireland, Carlow Branch and they, I brought my eldest with me. And this is another story that could make me cry. But I was, was I there? think I was on my Instagram stories talking about it. But basically we came out and she was like super proud and everything. And

 

We got home in the car and I said, I enjoyed that today. And she said, yeah, she said, you really made me see that like the sky is the limit for what I can do. And I was like, really? And she said, yeah, like she’s old enough to remember when we were broke, when mommy was like in postnatal depression from having my two babies so close together, when I was struggling, she remembers me like that.

 

And she just said like, you have just completely turned your life around. And she said, you have just gone out and done like this climb from where you were to where you are now. And she said, that really makes me think that I could do anything, ma’am. I could, there’s literally nothing that I couldn’t do. I was just- that all you want for your kids? Throw that award out the window. This is all I want. This is all I want. Yeah. So like, you can feel guilty all you like, but.

 

I think it’s really good for your kids to see you out there striving and showing them what’s possible. Yeah, is different times. for girls like and I think the more women that are in business and in leadership, that’s how we’re going to change culture. That’s how we’re to change it. So I think having this conversation today about it is hopefully going to get some other women thinking as well. So I’d love to know then as well, Emma, you know, we’ve spoken a lot about your we’ve got quite a lot of similarities actually in terms of like lack of confidence back in the day and

 

people pleased and not feeling good enough and all of that. If there’s somebody listening here today and they’re resonating with that, what advice would you give them? Go for it. Why are you playing small?

 

Don’t play small. Just if you’re going to do something. I wish I did this 10 years ago. Why didn’t I turn 30 and say like, go for it now?

 

go for it and try it and see what’s the worst that can happen. The worst that can happen is you fail at it. But look at all the stuff that you’ve learned along the way. you know what like and you’d be disappointed with yourself that you failed. Well, I’d much prefer to fail 10 times over than be disappointed that I didn’t even try. Like I really kind of think if you’ve something we I think we get glimpses of like things that’s like my God, this is I really want to be doing with my life. And I don’t think it kicks in until you get a bit older.

 

and wiser. And I love getting older every year. There’s some more wiseness coming in. I love it. Very much like kind of. I’m not I’m not conformant to what people think I should be doing or saying or looking like I’m really happy with my skin now. And that’s the most loveliest feeling that’s come from getting older. But like, I think you push yourself. You’ve pushed yourself out of your comfort zone a lot. I think that’s helped. Yeah. And like kind of different projects come in and.

 

There’s one at the moment that I’m looking at and it’s like, I don’t know if I’m able for that. don’t like this is a higher level than what I should be doing now and stay in your box, stay in your box. And it’s like, no, come on. This is think of the growing that’s going to happen out of this. Think of the jobs that could come from that job. And, you know, so I will push myself. Definitely. The comfort zone is you die in the comfort zone. It’s boring. Keep pushing.

 

I think as well, I think going back to what you were saying there about you not kind of taking the leap until you’re older, there’s always a really good sign of what you’re supposed to do in life is when you feel jealous of somebody else. Yes. Isn’t it? Yes. So I remember back way back in the day, I remember there was this this man who came in. He was like a coach into the company I worked in. I’m talking now 15, maybe more years ago. And I remember him getting up like teaching on something. And I was like, I could I

 

I could do that. Like I could that that’s not what we need to hear. wanted it. And I was like, yeah, but he’s obviously a man and he’s an ex executive and he has this company. I could never do that. And now I’m doing it. Like, so I think that’s the thing I think is that if you have these glimmers, like you said of like, ⁓ I’d like to do that and I can’t. need to follow the whisper. Isn’t that what Oprah says? Whisper. Whisper is what you’re meant to do. And kind of change your mindset a bit. Like, you know, kind of

 

The feeling jealous, I’ve had that before, but like it’s a big mindset shift when you kind of realize actually that’s just something I want. That’s just something I’m aspiring to. I’m not actually jealous of you. Like, you know, as woman, like let’s say it’s so in my industry, there’s loads of these other interior designers that are like fantastic projects, accolades, like big, big teams of people. And I’m like, wow, look what’s possible.

 

Me 10 years ago would have been like, who does your one think she is? Like pure jealous. But now it’s like, go you. I love to see Pete. I’d love to see women that are absolutely smashing it in business and their lives. And they’re just like glowing with happiness. Like that just gives me so much inspiration that what else is coming? There’s so much other great stuff to come like. ⁓ I love that. think it’s it’s when you get into business. I think women are great at supporting each other. I think it’s when you’re not.

 

It’s the man in the arena who’s like marred with sweat and tears like nobody will ever who’s in the arena with you will ever say anything negative about you. It’s only people who are looking on at you are like, but they’re not in there with you. They’re not.

 

sitting in front of cameras when you don’t want to necessarily always want to be on camera, right? And things like that and putting yourself out there. So I think that always gives me a lot of comfort around the people who are judging you or who are, you know, begrudging or whatever. They’re not doing it. But they’re also, I don’t know, they’re also people that are very close to you. They can be, yeah. Do you know? Like from speaking to a lot of women that are in business, it’s kind of family and friends that are like on

 

What do think you’re doing? like, have you lost friends since? Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. But that’s OK. Yeah. And I’d never lose anyone like I have no. What’s that Snoop Dogg We’re quoting all the greats here. Peter Roosevelt to Snoop Doggy Dogg. I don’t know if it was Snoop, it was something like just just because you don’t eat at my table anymore doesn’t mean that there isn’t always going to be a seat for you. Like I haven’t.

 

I’m just gone to the stage now where it’s like, if you don’t like me, that’s OK. Yeah. If you don’t want to spend time with me anymore, that’s OK. But I’m really busy over here spending time with people that really like me. I think it’s seasons as well. That was a huge learning that I always had. have this like an attachment, like if I feel safe with somebody, it’s the ADHD thing as well. I would be very like all my life growing up. If I walked into a pub, I’d need my best friend or things like that. Very, very insecure. And I always thought that if somebody was in your life,

 

they were going to be in my life forever. So when I care about someone, like I, I opened my heart and I hear you’re the same. I didn’t realize that actually not everyone that you love is meant to be in your life, your whole life. And that really sucks. But it’s about thanking them for the memory, them for the journey and seeing it as a chapter. And like you said, you know, I think once you open your heart to someone, think, well, for me, it’s all, it would always be there, but I don’t feel like, I don’t feel anything like resentment or anything like that. It’s just,

 

You’re in different seasons and that’s OK. Yeah. Yeah. And I think as well, I really do believe that you are the people you surround yourself with. like. If you want to kind of be an entrepreneur and if you want to grow your business, you need to hang around with other people that have that same vision as you, because the conversations are completely different. Yeah, we’re not talking about Mary down the road and what she was wearing. We’re just not like I have no time for conversations like that anymore. just.

 

when I hear people kind of starting doing the gossip and I just kind of back away. I don’t want to know. I don’t understand women that feel the need to cut other women down. I just don’t get that to make themselves feel a little bit better. I think it’s a lack of awareness, though. Like I think what you said earlier on about, know, you would have been that person like who does she think she is? I was that person. Who does she think she is? Because.

 

I was jealous because it was envious because I thought somebody was better and look at her. But really, it’s because there was a desire there to have that confidence to do the thing. I wanted her confidence. I didn’t want the thing. So I think if anyone listening, whoever does find themselves in those spaces, envy and jealousy is such a great sign because it means that you’re seeing something in somebody else that already lives inside you. But you need to unlock it. It’s like a mirror.

 

So use your jealousy and your envy to your advantage instead of listen to what it’s trying to tell you. And it will show you the way to, think, about our life. Jesus, that was very philosophical. was very philosophical. I’m very deep today. I nearly cried. I know where we Yeah, I’m terribly kind of went off tangents. Sure, it’s all tangents. Sure, it’s great. That’s why our design sessions used to be hours. Sure, sure, great. Great. OK, Emma, we are coming up to the end of the show.

 

I’ve loved the conversation. was just beautiful. So nice as always. And I’m going to be ending today with our rapid fire in five. So this is five and ninety. Five questions, ninety seconds or less. Don’t overthink it. Let’s go. You ready? Yeah. OK. Number one, what’s one thing you wish more women would stop apologizing for? Oh, existing. Just yeah, just crack on. You’re brilliant. Love it. Number two, what’s one thing

 

you love to do for fun that might surprise people. Dancing. Well that probably wouldn’t surprise anyone. I love dancing. Wedding. I’m first on the floor after the bride and groom and I’m usually the last off. Number three. What is a life hack you wish more people knew? Something you found out that you were like wow. God.

 

Your husband takes a job that he’s not as busy with and then he does loads of stuff for you in the house and it’s brilliant. you could do that. Laura will not be listening to the podcast. But yeah, he’s just he’s doing loads of jobs in the house now that have just. life hack is to be nice to your husband and he’ll. He’ll care of you. completely, completely just, yeah, completely takes care of me like I’m a princess. And at the beginning, I was really like, my God, this is a bit weird. But now it’s like.

 

This is so lovely. This is so lovely. So life hack, find a man like Get Larr. Get Larr. He’s my biggest life hack. What do success, balance and happiness mean to you? ⁓ Success, balance and happiness. think actually going, we’re booking a holiday, ⁓ a big holiday for the end of the year. We’re going to Mexico. Me too. Are you really? Yeah.

 

That is mental. Yeah, I we don’t have time to talk about it on camera. Sorry, 90 seconds. But like, it’s a big trip and it’s costing a lot of money. But I just, that’s success and happiness that we get to enjoy this family time because of the success of the business. I love it. able to create that. I think that to me, I feel really proud of myself. I’m proud of everything that I’ve achieved that it’s like within five years.

 

going from Stony Brook to, hey, let’s do this fabulous mortgage and go to Mexico. Best feeling ever. Love it. And finally, what is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received and who is it from? Oh, that’s a really good question. Buy in for time.

 

Know your worth and add the tax. I think that could have been an Instagram. It was not 50 cent, but like I think that’s so as women, I don’t think we value our worth like if it was a man out there and no shade to men, but they just genuinely are more like this is what I’m going to do and I’m going to charge that much for it. I’m going to make this into a multi-million.

 

business like and they just go ahead and do it because of that belief. But women are like, well, and I find that a lot in my trade that designers are like, but I love doing this. I do this job for free. And that is 100 percent. I would do this job for free. I love it. But I really love that I get paid for it. Yeah. We need more women like you telling other women own your work. Absolutely. And I like I have a lot of designers, younger designers that would contact me and say, you know, can you give me some advice? And I

 

help and kind of nearly kind of coaching them on the side. And it’s lovely to see them. text me last night. I put in my first four figure fee. I was like, good, go for it. Go for it. Like you’re you’re so worth that. You’re brilliant at what you’re doing. Like go ahead and do that. Absolutely. Absolutely. Emma, thank you so much for being here today. It’s been an amazing conversation. Where can people find you? ⁓ Over on Instagram seems to be my home.

 

We have a little tribe over there that are all full of lovely people. So White Meadow Interiors. Relocate to Ireland’s on there as well. We have the websites, LinkedIn. But the best place to get you is Instagram if you want to go. And I love watching Emma’s Instagram because I always get a little pick me up. She loves dancing on camera. She shows a lot of behind the scenes. And yeah, just thank you for being such a creative in the world. And, you know, when you did my bedroom. I’m going to cry. Oh, I know.

 

You did cry. so much more. Why does this happen? This is called flooding. ADHD flooding. It’s so much more than a design project. it’s still it’s an investment that pays dividends over and over and over and over again. You know, so just thank you for your gifts and what you put into the world. I appreciate you. I always say it’s not it’s not like life. It’s not surgery or anything. It’s not that important.

 

can be really life changing to people. I know I have gone in and I’ve helped some people change things in their home that have like changed their lives a little bit and made them a little bit better and that they’ve looked forward to coming home a lot more than they used to. And that’s when you cried when you walked into your room, you didn’t even pay me. was, was like, you didn’t even film that. don’t think did you? You missed a bit of content. Guys, can highly recommend her. wasn’t even supposed to be plugging, but honestly, honestly highly recommend. So

 

That is it for this week’s episode of The Lucy Gernon Show. I am so thrilled and inspired to be joined by so many amazing, amazing women. So we will see you again on the next time episode. Same time, same place. Bye for now.