#179 Behind the Scenes: How These 3SIXTY Members Went From Stuck in the Weeds to Confident, Strategic Female Leaders

Lucy Gernon (00:00)

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the 360 Leadership podcast. I am absolutely delighted today you’re in for a treat because I have two very, special guests, dear people in my life.

which is the fantastic Kira Gallagher and Dierda O’Neill, who are both members of 360 Leaders Club. Kira is a leader in a biopharmaceutical company in the technical operations area and Dierda works in corporate banking. Ladies, you are all so welcome to the show. Good to have you here.

Deirdre O’Neill (00:32)

Thank you Lucy, great to be here.

Ciara Gallagher (00:35)

Yeah, thanks Lucy. Thanks for the invitation.

Lucy Gernon (00:37)

OK, so they’re both kind of slightly probably like, OK, this is our very first podcast, so let’s just give them all the love that they’re here today with us on the show. And we’re going to bust a few a few barriers in terms of showing up and getting visible for all of us here today, too. So I’m to start by getting you to just maybe introduce yourselves a little bit to our listeners. Let us know a little bit more about who you are, how long you we’ve been working together and maybe why you even joined 360 in the first place. So, dear Joe, I’ll start with you because you’re first off on my screen.

Deirdre O’Neill (01:07)

Thank you very much, Lucy. So, yes, I’m in the financial services industry and I’ve been in it quite a long time at this stage, we’ll say 15 years plus. And I’m a mom of two, so that means you have priorities in every different direction. And going to your question of why I joined 360, I had got to a point whereby I felt very little control in my life.

Obviously we work in industries that are very busy. There’s a lot of pressure. We manage teams. A lot of us do very different things within the program. And I felt like my life was being dictated by calls and emails. And it meant I had very little time to focus on what I wanted and on my KPIs. And…

There’s always something that breaks the camel’s back. It just got staged where I knew I needed change. Something had to change. And even though I had a lot of tools and techniques myself, I didn’t seem to be able to bring them to a place whereby I could create a structure that I wanted for my working life. Because as we all know, what goes on in work also does impact your personal life. And that was the main reason I want to change and I needed help.

from somebody, which was you Lucy, to help me make those changes.

Lucy Gernon (02:34)

Hmm. And tell me a little bit about, I love what you said there. And so many of my listeners are definitely nodding their head around, you know, know, work impact in home life. You wanting to focus on your stuff rather than always everybody else’s. What you see mentioned, like there came a point where it was like the straw. I think it’s something like the straw that broke the camel’s back or something. I’m paraphrasing. What was the moment that you just finally went, you know what? Like I deserve to have this support.

Deirdre O’Neill (03:02)

Yeah, I came to the point where I went, work is getting the best of me. And my life was only getting a fraction of me because I was just spread too thin in every direction. And that was what happened. It literally, I looked at my life and went, this is not what I want. This is not what I want next year or in five years. And it’s…

Lucy Gernon (03:17)

Mm.

Deirdre O’Neill (03:27)

And I mean, you look at it, it’s not a gradual realisat… It’s a gradual journey. It’s not something where you arrive at on a particular day. You know what’s happening. You can see it happening in front of you. And that’s what happened. I literally came to the point where I went, okay, burnout will be in sight if I don’t do something. And that was it. It was fear. It was actually fear. Fear of burnout. Fear of, instead of things getting better, things getting progressively worse.

Lucy Gernon (03:57)

And obviously we’ll get into a little bit more, but you did join and like, how has the experience been for you in terms of like you wanted, it was the fear of burnout, right? Did that burnout occur?

Deirdre O’Neill (04:14)

No. Now it did mean, and one of the great things that I’ve taken from 360 is, is about giving myself space and giving myself a lot more structure to my diary than I had. And it’s what I’ve really learned as well. And it’s one thing I love about 360. It is so practical. We don’t deal in theory all the time. And

You come with with tools and tips. Also members of the group come with tools and tips. And I love that it’s practical. They are easy to implement. You don’t need a degree in, you know, brain surgery to be able to come together and and make things change. And I love that. And I love I love I love the women on the on the on the journey because we keep it real. I mean, we talk about as it is.

And there are often topics that we touch on that I have never heard spoken of within the corporate context, because a lot of the challenges that face us are very particular and very personal to women. And we often don’t get a voice to bring these topics elsewhere. So it’s been fantastic community support for me and at a time when I needed it.

Lucy Gernon (05:26)

Hmm.

I love that. I love that. And what about you, Kira? Do you want to introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about why you joined 360 as well?

Ciara Gallagher (05:48)

Sure. Thanks Lucy for giving me this opportunity because I am way out of my comfort zone right now for anybody listening. Yeah. And it’s great. And it’s great. So why I am a scientist. I have over 20 years of experience and I’ve moved through various roles through research and development. And now I’m in manufacturing. I got to know you first through your podcast.

Lucy Gernon (05:55)

What happens when you work with me? Sorry!

Ciara Gallagher (06:13)

So I think like, like lots of people who ended up joining 360, I was listening to the podcast. ⁓ and I had moved from California. I was in there with my husband for 15 years. ⁓ we moved home and I was struggling with adapting to a new culture, not having a professional network because I had done all of my career in, in the U S.

and work-life balance, because I had done this move because my values are family and I wanted to have work-life balance and have more time for family and have that quality of life. But I felt because of my kind of how I was adapting to my new role and living in my hometown, but new to me again, because it had been 20 years since I had lived here. I wasn’t getting that work-life balance.

And so everything that I heard on the podcast really resonated with me. And one thing in particular was if you don’t learn the lesson the first time around, the universe will keep presenting the same challenge to you. And I’ve always been a person who’s used overwork, putting in more hours in order to stay kind of competitive or stay. And that’s not really an option that’s available to parents, right? You have commitments. need to be home. You need to be there when your kids need you and not when work doesn’t need you.

And so I’d realized that my prioritization had come to when this, then that. And I was like, at what point is when going to happen? At what point am I going to say, I’m comfortable now and now I’m going to work on work-life balance. And I realized from listening to the podcast that I didn’t have, as Gerda was saying, a structure. I didn’t prioritize myself. I didn’t do a close reflection on how I was spending my time. So I committed to joining 360. And since I’ve been in 360,

I’ve really learned a lot, right? I’ve, everything that kind of is promised in the podcast is here in 360 because I’ve learned that big changes come from an accumulation of small changes. It’s not that you put something in place on day one and then day two, your life changes. And also that, you know, it’s frequently said, everyone has the same 24 hours. It’s how you use them. And it’s being intentional with the small pockets of time, with the day to day that builds up to being the year that you want.

And so I think that, and again, as Deirdre said, the community is amazing. Having a group of women with similar goals, going through similar issues and you know, everybody wants the best for each other in the group. And so everyone comes from a place of love in terms of this is something, this is how I would approach a problem. These are the suggestions. And I think it’s something that really made a huge difference for me because I didn’t have a professional network anymore because of the move.

Lucy Gernon (08:59)

Amazing, amazing. my God, so much. I just love that you’re saying that that’s making me feel so happy. And I want to touch on something that you both spoke about, which I really hope we can bust this myth because I try to bust it on my own and hopefully you guys can help me around the work life balance thing. So let’s have the conversation for when I talk about work life balance. I think sometimes people think it means you have.

the perfect blend harmony, whatever you want to integration, work like integration, there’s always different terms. It all means the same thing, right? We want to have time for ourselves, the things that are important and time for our lives and for work as well. But there is what I’ve seen a lot, obviously, because I worked in an industry for so many years is you kind of become consumed by your role when you’re a leader. Right. And the higher up you go.

Ciara Gallagher (09:49)

and

Lucy Gernon (09:49)

you

are even more consumed such that it becomes your life. And I felt like I know when I worked in corporate was it got to a stage for a while where it was very much like, you know, work, work, work, work, home, kids, you know, homework, lunches back on the laptop. And then you do that like consistently forever more. And I realized like there has to be a better way of living like this can’t be all there is to life.

which is when I started making huge changes myself when I worked in the corporate world, which is what we talk about a lot in 360 with the tools and everything. So I don’t ever want anyone to think that it’s not possible, no matter what level you’re at, that you can’t have balance. Does it mean that you are working a 39 hour week every week and you’re logging off, you’re never thinking about work? No, but it means that you’re actually intentional, more like you guys have said, more intentional about where you spend your time. And the thing that I love about us in 360 is

I’ve structured it in a way that is obviously strategic because I want to keep you accountable to make sure you do take care of yourselves because so many women don’t, right? So what would you say in terms of work life balance? What has been, please feel free to share, like you don’t have to hold anything back in terms of intellectual property or anything. I’m all about generosity on the podcast. What have been like some of the most useful like trainings or tools or like challenges that we’ve done that have helped you?

and either one of you jump in.

Deirdre O’Neill (11:13)

I can go on that one because I know what’s been a game changer for me. And I thought I was doing it already, which was looking at your diary for the week ahead, putting in proper time to look at it and assess what’s coming up, where you need to prepare, where you need to give yourself space to review or do emails or whatever else. And I thought I was doing that.

And we’ve actually done a very specific exercise on this within the 360. And I went from being, bit wishy washy the first time. The second time it was like as if the sun had just come up and I went, yeah, no, I’m actually not being, and I’m going to use the word ruthless, but ruthless because everybody wants to tend, wants me to tend to their problems. And yet,

When I was going on a call, I hadn’t prepped long enough because I’d been tending to everybody else’s needs. So now I look at the, we say the calls and meetings that are coming up in the next week and I do it in advance. I actually do it the week before and I go, right, okay, I have preparation needed for that. I have preparation needed for that. And I block out the time and I now am very adamant at sticking to

Nobody gets into that time. Before I would have allowed meetings in, I was literally making updates as I’m going on the calls. And I just went, no, because all that was doing for me was adding to my stress. I was, as I mentioned, feeling burnt out. I was stretched in every direction. And it also meant I wasn’t taking sufficient breaks. So there were days you could get to…

two, half two, three, and you wouldn’t have even taken a break or a stretch during the day. So that is one thing that has been an absolute game changer for me. And it did challenge me at first, but I stuck with it and I trusted. I trusted, I trusted the reason we were doing it. And like I said, the first time I went, second time, like I said, it was like as if it was an eye opener and it’s something simple.

but actually can be a game changer.

Lucy Gernon (13:35)

Mm hmm. And you know what, like it’s always the simple things people are you guys say this to me all the time. Like I hear it so often. Oh my God, this is so simple. Why wasn’t I doing it? The reason we don’t do these things, if we guys, we can Google anything. And actually, do we all really know what we need to do? Yes. But the beauty of like what we’ve created, I think, is the accountability and having like you mentioned the community. So when you see.

Deirdre O’Neill (13:53)

Yes.

Lucy Gernon (14:01)

What Deirdre, all of a sudden, is celebrating on a Friday in our weekly wins. I have blocked out this on my calendar and nobody got in my space. Well, all of a sudden, somebody else is going, OK, that’s given me the motivation to do it again next week, isn’t it?

Deirdre O’Neill (14:15)

Yeah, and it’s for me as well, it’s seeing people or hearing the women in our group talking about the changes that they’ve made and the impact that it has had on them. And again, that’s not something we hear. Yeah.

Lucy Gernon (14:28)

What’s coming to your mind? Yeah,

what’s coming to your mind? Is there any one story? You don’t need to don’t name a name, but is there any stories come into mind of somebody in the community that’s really inspired you about something they’ve done?

Deirdre O’Neill (14:39)

Yeah, and it was actually, and it’s one thing I also love about the community. We don’t just focus on the work piece, which is obviously very important, but we also focus on us as women and what we need in our lives. And somebody, yeah, they spoke about their, I’m going to call it their wellness journey. And I just went, wow, that’s where I would love to get it. Do I think I’ll get there? No, but I love the fact that, I know.

Lucy Gernon (15:06)

my God, don’t say that to me. Don’t

say that to me, you know I’d be on you.

Ciara Gallagher (15:09)

You

Deirdre O’Neill (15:11)

But

it’s inspiring and it’s like the whole, sometimes you have to hear things a couple of times for it really to land. And I think that’s been part of my journey. I have to keep hearing it, keep hearing the changes that the women in our group have made and then it just lands, it just resonates.

Lucy Gernon (15:21)

Yeah, amazing.

And what about you, Kira?

Ciara Gallagher (15:38)

I think for me, I’m going to come back to that, that big changes come from an accumulation of small changes. So really the results focused thinking has been something that’s been really big for me because the, we have, have a lot of tools on brand and visibility and how you show up. And I think one thing I knew, but didn’t hold myself to account for is you need to deliver one or two big things, staying on top of all the

tasks is not going to make big change for you or for your organization. So either in your personal life or in your work life. So I think the things that I like is the tools that you’ve provided around decision making, around kind of how you communicate to others what went into making that decision. For example, the Do It framework, if you use that or the Scamper method. And these are all things that we’ve learned in 360. And then that combined with the goal setting that we do. So

At beginning, I found it really challenging to set smart goals. mean, I do it through work and I do it, but to set goals that are encompass work and personal life, I wasn’t very good at it at the beginning. But then we’d come and we’d do quarterly reviews in 360 and look at kind of where are you? Are you on track with your goals or not? And if you aren’t, why aren’t you? And what’s the why behind your goal? Why did you make this a goal? Because if the why is important enough, you’ll do it. But maybe the goal isn’t.

structured enough, or maybe it’s not as important and you put it there because maybe in two years you want to deal with it, or maybe you’re not devoting the daily time that you need to execute on that goal. So I think the accountability of our weekly wins is very helpful, but also the tools of kind of looking at where am I going to put my impact, right? I have a limited amount of time. And then the tracking, like making sure that every day you’re making small incremental progress. So

We talk a lot about imperfect progress in the group. And I think I would have been someone who was at times paralyzed by perfectionism, right? If I didn’t think it could be done perfectly or I would rework things. And now it’s more I have more confidence. I reach out to people with kind of most of an idea in place to see if it’s even going to fly instead of kind of holding on to it till I feel like it’s perfect. And maybe even the moment has passed by the time I’ve decided that it’s perfect. And but really kind of every day now.

looking at what did I do today? What were my goals? How did I show up? Did I make any progress against those goals? And like there are days when you won’t because everything’s on fire. But then it’s about giving yourself the grace and being like, okay, didn’t make it today. Maybe won’t make it for the rest of the week, but next week there’ll be a reset and I’ll refocus on those goals. So it’s really about all the complimentary tools that you put together in order to make the change. And I think that’s been

I wasn’t a person like Deirdre was saying, I wasn’t a person who was sitting down reflecting on how I had spent my time. Even now, probably if you asked me like last week, I’d be like, what? No. But like being forced to do like the 333 daily ritual. I hope you don’t mind if I talk about the 333 day ritual, right? So you talk about kind of three things you’re grateful for, three wins and three positive affirmations and kind of, I would have thought before.

Lucy Gernon (18:42)

No! my god, share anything.

Ciara Gallagher (18:53)

I would have thought my mindset was okay without having really done any kind of evaluation of where my mindset was or any work to think about mindset. And I wouldn’t have really thought that mindset could make such a big change. And one thing I had was one of my passwords was something that was kind of, it was kind of tongue in cheek, but it was also tending towards the negative side. And I looked at it I was like, I’m typing this in multiple times a day over and over again.

And I changed it to something much more positive and upbeat and it already made a change. And I was like, I didn’t even know I was doing that to myself. So I think looking at mindset and how we look at mindset in the group and kind of always a refocus on what are you grateful for? What’s going well right now? I think that’s something we always open up our calls with what’s going well for you. And having that space to be like, okay, none of us are perfect. We didn’t get the ideal work-life balance. We didn’t get our five exercise slots this week.

But what is going well and focusing on that and building on that and a different bringing and then you show up with a different energy. And I think I’m showing up at home and at work with a different energy. And I don’t think without joining 360, I would have placed value in mindset. Like I knew about Karl Dweck, I read her book, but I don’t know that I’d really kind of figured out how to implement it in my daily life. And with 360, that’s something that I really have. There’s the tools, there’s the goal setting and there’s the mindset piece. And it really has.

Lucy Gernon (20:09)

Mm.

Ciara Gallagher (20:16)

For me, I would have been skeptical before I joined 360 that you can get the change you’re looking for by changing yourself. But now I’ve kind of figured out that you don’t get 100 % of the way, right? You can’t promote yourself, you can’t give yourself a raise, but you can implement a lot of changes just by changing how you show up and really acknowledging what your priorities are and dumping the things that are not aligned with your values or your priorities.

Lucy Gernon (20:40)

Mm.

What do you think about that, Dyrja?

Deirdre O’Neill (20:45)

Brilliant. I’m sitting here nodding at everything Kiera is saying. And even going back to hearing the reminders, the 333, the, yeah, and even one thing that I took away from our session. So we have regular sessions in the 360, is that reflection time in the evenings before you log off. And before I would have done it as my to-do list, but like Kiera, now I don’t do it every day, but I do 333. What am I grateful for?

And again, I love that about 360 because that is not something you hear very, in fact, at all in corporate. At all. Yeah.

Lucy Gernon (21:23)

No, it’s kind of quite the opposite, isn’t it? mean,

if I that’s I think I’d love to know what you guys have for people who are listening when you join 360, you’re coming into a very you’re probably here now you’re going into a very positive space. And it’s kind of the complete opposite to what most people are used to when you’re coming from like I worked in the pharmaceutical industry. Right. So, Kira, I know what that whole scene is like. I’ve worked in multiple companies.

And a dear like my sister worked in financial services. So again, I totally understand. I know everyone as well. It can be quite it’s very pressurized. It’s all KPIs. It’s all targets. It’s problem solved now. Get it done. Get it over the line. I don’t care how you make this thing happen. Just get it. Make it happen. There’s a lot of conflict. So how was it for you at first? I’m so curious because I think I’ve ever asked you this. How was it a first to like come into a space that’s very positive because it is a bit.

different to bring me what you’re used to. Did it feel weird? Did it feel welcoming? Tell me what it felt like.

Deirdre O’Neill (22:28)

For me it was all about all of that. But I also felt overwhelmed at it because it was such a different space and a different place. And so the opposite ends of what every other hour of my day is like. So yeah, I was very overwhelmed with it. I almost was in shock for a while until I felt comfortable and I suppose I found my space in it.

And then what I discovered was, so for anyone who doesn’t know, we have a regular session every week. We have calls every week on various topics. And that time is now sacred in my diary. So nobody is allowed to put calls in at that time. Nobody. nobody. But I did end up missing it because of something urgent that happened. And I literally sat going.

Lucy Gernon (23:16)

I love your status with such connection.

Deirdre O’Neill (23:25)

I feel like something is missing or something is wrong or that feeling of unease. And also I went, my gosh, I’m supposed to be on my call. And I said, I’m not going to let that happen again unless exactly that it’s an urgent, urgent, urgent. Because what that weekly call does for me, it brings me into a different place. It brings me into the different mindset as Kiera mentioned.

you come away from that call feeling very positive and like your energy has been lifted. And that’s what I love. And I love even, and I know we did something on a section on nutrition, Lucy, I’ve actually listened to that. I’ve actually listened to that I think three times at this stage. I’ve keep replaying it because I got so much out of it. But again, it’s so different and it’s such almost like an antidote.

to the rest of the day.

Lucy Gernon (24:22)

Mm, I love that. I love that so much. I love that. And like, that’s the thing, like, while 360 is absolutely focused on, you know, developing your developing your profession and developing these leaders, I can’t help it. I just care too much about all of you, which is why right now the girls in 360 have access to my personal health coach nutritionist. She’s coming in to do some sessions. We have the most amazing coach. Tell them about Pamela. I mean, Pamela is just amazing. She does all of our mindset.

and she trained me to be a coach. So like you’re getting access to just the most amazing people and just to see both of you first of all sitting here today actually on the podcast is a win in itself. So master well done for that. If it’s not as bad as you thought it was going to be is it?

Ciara Gallagher (25:02)

You

Deirdre O’Neill (25:07)

It’s

Ciara Gallagher (25:07)

No.

Deirdre O’Neill (25:07)

great, it’s… But there’s a great energy amongst us. And like even I’m listening to Kira talking about the mindset and go, yeah, I actually hadn’t thought of that. So it constantly is reinforcing positive habits, positive behaviors, but also a positive community spirit amongst us because we’ve all had challenges. And that’s one thing I also love. There’s a very common thread amongst all.

Lucy Gernon (25:12)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Deirdre O’Neill (25:35)

the women in our group, we’ve all faced challenges and we’re very open about those challenges. It’s probably the place I’ve been the most open about it in my life. And as Kira said, we show up to support each other and we can do that being ourselves. I feel like I can be me within this group. I don’t have to hide. I don’t have to put on a veneer. Yeah, there’s no face, false face going on. Yeah, you turn up and…

Ciara Gallagher (25:51)

Thank

Deirdre O’Neill (26:03)

lots of days you’re smiling even though you’re not on camera or you’re going that is an amazing point I never thought of that or you always bring away something that will change some area of your life be it work be it personal and yeah as Ciara said it’s the accumulation of effects it’s stacking it’s good on top of good on top of good on top of good it doesn’t change in one day it doesn’t change the week that you start with the group

but I even see the difference in me in the six months since I’ve joined. And I think that’s…

Lucy Gernon (26:39)

Amazing.

do think other people notice actually? Sorry to interrupt. Do you think other people have noticed that you’re showing up differently? Let’s start with work. I’ll ask both of you that.

Deirdre O’Neill (26:51)

That’s great question. Yeah.

Lucy Gernon (26:53)

Have you asked? Go on, Keri, you go ahead.

Ciara Gallagher (26:53)

So.

Well, I was going to say that one of the things that we do as part of 360 is you do retreats and events. So we get to meet in person. And I think in terms of like how it was to join 360 and join the group, I know that you’ll remember that my first retreat was about, I was almost six months in the group, I think, in that March retreat. There was a lot going on at work. I just, remember, I can still resonate with Deirdre about saying the overwhelm, because I remember sitting in room.

And I got the most and Lucy, I know this is not at all what you were going for with the retreat, but I got the most acute imposter syndrome because I looked around the room and I looked at all the amazing women in the room and I was like, what did I do? Like what combination of lottery tickets did I win to be in a room with these accomplished women and to be discussing kind of on a very equal level? And I was overwhelmed and like you remember I kind of at one point burst into tears because it was just so much.

to finally have a space where you could talk about this stuff and to finally have a space where you could connect with like-minded women. And when I say like-minded women, it’s like women who are going through the same challenges, but who are looking to actively work on making a change. I think that’s what kind of distinguishes people who kind of take the leap to jump in to 360. Do I think people have commented on how I show up differently? Yes, you yourself commented, right? Six months later, we were in another retreat in September and you commented that I’m like a different person.

Lucy Gernon (28:23)

that your energy is very different.

Ciara Gallagher (28:25)

Yeah. And I wouldn’t have even like, I don’t know that I would have acknowledged that it was my energy that was driving a lot of the things. And by changing your energy, you can do that. So I do think it has changed a lot. I think listening to the podcast was great trying to implement, you make so many of your tools freely available. And I think that’s amazing, but there’s this extra step up that comes from being in the community, from attending events, from showing up, like Gerda says, it does, it really resets your mindset at least once a week in terms of saying,

Yeah, these are my overarching goals. This is what I’m going to focus on. I think it has changed. It has changed a lot for me. I know that I was daunted because it felt like a lot to spend that money on me, myself and my development. But it’s worth every penny that I’ve spent. I’ve never had a moment’s hesitation where I thought, I don’t know if that was the right move. It’s 100 % been the right move for me.

Lucy Gernon (29:21)

Amazing. my God. And just let’s talk about that investment piece, right? And talk about like the let’s talk about the free tools and the podcast thing. So one thing I hear a lot and I would have been the same. This is literally what I was like. And let’s see, does it land with you guys? I was like, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I make these changes? I’m reading all the books. I’m listening to the podcasts. You know, I know what I need to do. What is it? And then somebody before I worked with my first coach, somebody said on a podcast, they said something like,

You know, you can get anything you want for free. You can Google any leadership challenge. can Google any tool, any mindset. What does it make? You can get it all for free. We’ve chopped GPT now for God’s sake. We can get any answer to anything. But there is a called Pamela told me this. It’s called some someone’s law. I’m not going to pretend to remember his name. It’s not Newton’s law. It’s some other person’s law. Right. Which is when people pay, you pay attention and the more you actually invest in yourself.

the more you pay attention and the more you pay attention, the more you take action, the more action you take, the more results you create. Do you know what I mean? So has this compound effect. while the investment always like I remember my first coach, like I had never done anything for myself. I wouldn’t like I would have shopped in the sales section. I would have like that’s how I was brought up. So when she told me it was like eight K to work with her, like I my mind was just so blown. I was like, what? But very and that was for three months.

But very quickly, I realized that like as soon as first of all, I made that investment in me and I saw, wait a minute, I’ve invested all this in myself. I am showing up to every call. I am going to do, you know, every train and I’m going to like get as much of this as I can. because I went in with that, literally everything changed for me. So what would you say to somebody who is listening? Like some people are happy to invest themselves like they do it. Other people are not. So let’s talk to people who are not right now.

What advice would you give them if they’re like, my God, this sounds great. It sounds like what I need, but I’m scared to invest.

Deirdre O’Neill (31:27)

I would say do the feel the fear and do it anyway, because there’s a reason that you have touched on this podcast or clicked it or listening to it. So there’s something that either Lucy has said that is resonating with you or even Kira and myself. And I suppose I’m lucky. I actually am a firm believer of investing in yourself. And so I would say it’s

It’s definitely worth it. And like as you said, it is a commitment. It is a commitment. I would also say you pay to get quality as well. I would much rather know that in six months time, I will be feeling better or I will have a better approach or my voice will be stronger than paying a little amount and well, it’s just not worth anything to me.

And what really spoke to me was, as I said, just missing that call. And I felt like I was missing something. I felt like, no. And so it’s been totally valuable. Yeah, it’s been part of this program has been so valuable. It is worth the investment. And also what I would say is, and probably like ourselves that we’re talking here, I got to the point where I knew something had to change and I hadn’t figured out.

how to create that change by myself. And like that, I read a lot of things, I listen to a lot of things, I’ve gone to loads of seminars, but I was in a place where I couldn’t actually figure out what I needed to do or the steps that I needed to take. And being here has helped me with that.

Lucy Gernon (33:13)

Hmm. And

what has been the biggest change is like if you were to, know, I’m all about like tangible results. Like would you say what would the biggest shifts be for you, Gerda, in terms of like confidence, balance, how you’re feeling in yourself?

Deirdre O’Neill (33:29)

I would say actually a combination of all of those. And going back to your question, have people noticed me showing up differently? Absolutely. I am way more confident in myself. I’m way more confident. When seniors come over from the States, I speak up. I’m not afraid to use my voice. And I’m, yeah, I’m being very mindful of my language that I’m using.

Lucy Gernon (33:32)

Hmm.

Deirdre O’Neill (33:58)

and even we’ll say the negative frames that I’m putting on myself, almost going back to what Kairi said about the password. And sometimes we’re setting ourselves up almost for failure, unknowingly. So even that I’m a lot more mindful of almost everything, of my confidence, of my words, I’m also not shying away from conflict now. And I would have been the biggest people pleaser ever.

I’ve had some conflict and I find it very uncomfortable. I find it very challenging. However, I’ve been able to move through it. And I don’t think I would have been able to manage it as well, only for what I have here and what I’ve learned. And even that conflict and perhaps addressing the conflict is a really positive step. And it was for me, yeah.

Lucy Gernon (34:51)

Amazing.

⁓ you know, this is music to my ears. I can’t wait to go back and listen to this again. I’ll just cry into my pillow. I love everything. No, but honestly, guys, this is literally why I quit my corporate career was to do this work and just to see you both here today is just making my heart so warm. Kira, just quickly from your perspective, what would you say to somebody in terms of investing in themselves and what are the biggest kind of shifts you’ve noticed or others?

Deirdre O’Neill (34:57)

I’ll play the violin, Lucy!

Lucy Gernon (35:20)

I’ve already asked for that one, sorry, in terms of investing, sorry.

Ciara Gallagher (35:20)

So.

Yeah, so investing, I said, like I said, for me, it was kind of a hesitation point, because I didn’t have this practice of investing in myself, I didn’t even have a decent skincare routine. And I always shop in the sales sections like that was just kind of coming from being an academic postdoc for really long, like that’s just how I learned. But I, it really has been in multiple ways been something that’s impacted my work life, my home life and like,

really resonating with everything that Gerd was saying, because I didn’t, I’d read the books, but I hadn’t a structured framework to put everything together and really drive change. The accountability piece is really important. The network is really important. I was struggling with a particular leadership challenge that was really impacting me, really stressing me out. And one of the more senior women in the group, like coached me through it. And she was like, she had a separate call with me and she was like, I’ve been there, done that.

let’s check in, I’ll tell you about how I handled it, let’s talk through. And that was invaluable. I don’t know where I would have gotten that otherwise than through the group. Like conflict and conflict resolution. And even for me, it’s showing that those conversations don’t necessarily have to be conflict. I think that’s the biggest thing is that how you show up, the energy you bring to the room, the language around how you can kind of diffuse something before it becomes something.

I think one thing we talk about a lot is understanding other people’s GPS. So their goals, their priorities, their struggles. And it’s kind of understanding where the other person is coming from and anticipating what they need. And that kind of more structured approach and more kind of take the step back, be prepared. That’s something that I think I would have said, if someone had asked me, would have said, yeah, obviously, but the practical implementation wasn’t there. So I think that’s really the kind of the big thing is, is really looking and slowing down.

Lucy Gernon (37:09)

Yeah.

Ciara Gallagher (37:16)

doing less, but the less that you do is more impactful.

Lucy Gernon (37:19)

Yeah, absolutely. OK, girls, I just absolutely love this conversation and I would keep going with you for another hour. But I have another guest coming in waiting room in the next three or three to four minutes. So we’re going to have to wrap it up. We’re all about efficiency over here. So, guys, you know the questions I always ask all of my podcast guests on the show. Dear Ja, what do what do success, balance and happiness mean to you?

Deirdre O’Neill (37:43)

It means that there is more of life for me and there’s more calm in my life. It’s what it really means for me because I want to show up the best that I can be for my kids, for me and my kids. that’s so success for me is actually is balance is having time. It’s actually looking after myself because I find when I make that the priority.

Everything else works, everything flows.

Lucy Gernon (38:15)

Thank you so much and Kira, I’ll ask you the other question. What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

Ciara Gallagher (38:22)

goodness.

Now I’m going to have an absolute blank on the podcast.

Lucy Gernon (38:31)

No, you’re not. You actually said earlier about the universe and the lessons. think that’s a good point.

Ciara Gallagher (38:36)

Yeah,

I think that’s I think that actually is really important one is that if you don’t learn the lesson the first time the universe will keep presenting it to you. And so if you’re coming across the same thing, if you’re coming across the same challenge in a different form with different people, but the same situation, then you need to change your approach or you need to look at it or reflect on it. think that’s that’s been really important. And the you know, everyone has the same 24 hours. I used to kind of roll my eyes at that because it’s like, yeah, but they have

drivers and nannies and cooks and personal trainers and but it but it is true, right? Everybody has 24 hours and you need to focus on on what you do with yours. So I think for me, it was resetting everything was focused, I think on success, right? Career was taking over a bit too much because I was thinking about the financial security that would come from my family. But then the balance wasn’t there and the happiness wasn’t there. So for me, it’s kind of getting those three back in alignment. Because for me, I want to show up for my kids, I want to

be there for them. But I also want to show up as someone, you know, a woman who has her career, a woman who is successful, but a woman who is happy and not somebody who is harried, running, trying to get chores done, running, trying to, you know, be the best at work, and then kind of really at the end of the day, being obviously unhappy or stressed out. So I think for me, it was really pulling back the pursuit of success and prioritizing balance and happiness.

Lucy Gernon (40:01)

Amazing. Girls, thank you so much for being here. You’re both honestly, you are role models for all the women who are going to be listening to this. You’re going to have inspired so many women. If anyone wants to reach out to you, where can they reach out? they DM you on LinkedIn or you’re both on LinkedIn, right? Yeah. We will pop the girls LinkedIn handles in the show notes if anyone wants to reach out. And yeah, that’s it for the end of the show. So thank you so much for being here and everyone.

Deirdre O’Neill (40:16)

Yes.

Ciara Gallagher (40:17)

Yeah, absolutely.

Lucy Gernon (40:27)

Thank you for being here as well and I’ll see you again next week. Same time, same place. Bye for now.