Imposter Syndrome, Procrastination & Why Leadership Feels Dangerous

Lucy (00:00)
Welcome back to the Lucy Gernon Show. It feels so so good to be back podcasting here with you again. So if you’re new here, you’re so welcome. Please make sure that you subscribe to YouTube if you’re watching this on YouTube so that you don’t miss anything. Or if you are listening on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, make sure that you subscribe to the show so you don’t miss out on any of the amazing episodes that are coming up on this whole area of confident leadership. So if you were here last week, you would have heard me talk about confidence knocks.

And we were talking a lot with Dr. Brian Penny about neuroscience and the habits that we as women can build to become addicted to stress. So if you’ve missed the previous episodes, you can just skip back and go back to the start of the season because they’re absolutely worth listening to. So we have been talking about confidence. And the reason that word is so important to me is because for so many years I did not feel that way. And I’ll share a little bit more about that later on. But for you, I guess I want to talk

To you a little bit about what I see in high-performing, high-achieving women in senior leadership that I coach. So I work with a lot of women in some of the biggest industries in the world and also in smaller companies too. They’re all in fast-paced environments. They are all being asked to deliver more with less resources. They are all trying to make an impact in the business. They are educated. They care about delivery. They take such great pride in their work.

And they are literally the glue that holds our organizations together. Not only that, not only are they smart, they’re also kind and they’re warm. And they bring me so much joy every single day when I have the pleasure of coaching them in 360 Leaders Club. But one thing that I see that holds so many of the women back before they start working with me is imposter syndrome. But not in the way that most people talk about it.

Because imposter syndrome is so much more than just self-doubt. It is the reason that brilliant women like you procrastinate. It’s the reason that they overprepare. It is the reason that they hold back. And it is the reason that leadership can feel surprisingly dangerous, even when you are so overqualified to be there. So if you ever wondered why you keep hesitating, despite your experience,

While there are men with half your talent but double your confidence, taking opportunities and stealing recognition that really should be yours, this is the episode for you.

So let’s talk a little bit about the hidden side of imposter syndrome. Most people think that imposter syndrome is just about saying things to yourself like I’m not good enough.

But it’s so sneaky that it can show up in different ways. So it can sound a little bit like this too. I’ll just do a little bit more research first, or I’ll just wait until I’m 100% ready. I’ll let someone else present, let them do it. Maybe I’m overestimating myself. Maybe I’m not as good as they say I am. It is not a lack of competence or intelligence or capability.

It is a self-protection mechanism. Because from a neuroscience perspective, we know that the brain’s number one function is survival. So when your brain perceives that there’s a threat, be that physical or psychological, you are going to shy away, or you may rebel and defend yourself, which is another episode, which is another thing we do not want to do as women, because side note, we’re all told we’re too emotional. And maybe there’s a little bit of truth in that.

But back to the self protection, right? I spent eighteen years in the corporate world.

I was managing budgets. I had headcount. I was leading teams, both on-site and global. I was managing regulatory inspections. I was being sought out as the subject matter expert in my field. Yet if you’d asked me back then whether or not I was ready for a director or a VP level, I would have told you you were crazy, and I would probably have given you a whole list of reasons why such and such

aka man was better than me and why he deserved to be in that and who would I be to even dream that I could, you know, get to a senior level in a big organization. And the irony is that when I left my last company, they hired three people to replace me. Three. They restructured the entire department and on the way out, the VP said to me that I should have been a director.

Now, this was a title that I had effectively been doing for years. I had all of the responsibilities of a director in my particular department. But because I didn’t fully believe in myself, I kept waiting for somebody else to tell me I was ready. I thought people who were, you know, in senior director roles or executive director roles or in VP roles or whatever, I thought they had some like they had something that I didn’t. And

Because I didn’t even believe that was possible for me, it’s not something I ever even try to develop myself towards until I left the corporate world and I could see everything so clearly, which is why I’m so passionate about supporting women in senior leadership right now. Because maybe you’ve been doing that too, right? Maybe you’ve been doing that too. And the thing is, is that now that I work with, you know, most of my clients are from that director level and up. I do have some clients who would be senior managers, associate directors.

But the irony is that I never even made it to that level because I didn’t think I was good enough. But yet now I have been able to build an award-winning company, receiving investment from Enterprise Ireland, government investment, doing deals with C suite executives, you know, consistently and serving hundreds of women in senior leadership. So when I look at what I’ve been able to build in my own company, when I didn’t hold myself back, it always makes me think about what could have been possible for me in the corporate world.

Had I believed in myself and had I known about the game, had I known that there was a game to be played and I know exactly how to play it, which is exactly what I love to support my women with as well. But anyway, back to Imposter Syndrome. So I want to tell you about one of my clients. Her name is Terry, and she is amazing. She’s been working with me for a couple of years now, and she was a VP in a financial services firm. Now, Terry described herself on

My podcast, which will be coming out soon, as a pick me girl. She is successful. She was a VP, delivering results. She was a mom of two and hoping that her good work would speak for itself. She was waiting for somebody to notice. She was waiting for somebody else to tell her that she was good enough and deserved it. And I think that so many women will recognize themselves in that. Because

I think it’s so brave that Terry shared her story and anytime, guys, I ever share anybody’s ⁓ story with their name, they have given me permission to do so. But you know the reason they do it is because they know that they felt this way for so long, but nobody ever told them because we we wear masks and we don’t keep it real and really everyone is just struggling, men as well, right? So I think it’s really important that you take who you compare yourself to with a pinch of salt.

Because a lot of it is smoke and mirrors. And you know, we all have inner critics, me included. I just have tools to manage it now. And so if you recognize yourself in

you know, I want you to know you’re not alone. And we have been conditioned to believe that your good work will speak for itself, and it really just doesn’t. So I want to get into some signs that imposter syndrome may be affecting your leadership career progression.

Let’s see if you actually resonate with one or many of these. And I’d love to hear from you as well on this. Like please reach out to me. I am I’m really friendly. I’m I’m totally normal and you know I’m my my life’s work is to support you with this because I know what it feels like to not believe in yourself and I know it doesn’t have to be that way. I just wish I had learned it sooner. So here are some signs. Let me know, do you resonate? Number one, over preparing.

So do you find yourself over preparing for things?

Presentations, board meetings, what you’re gonna say, any of that land. The second thing is perfectionism. Now, if you’re perfectionist and you’re like me, I’m like, that’s a good thing. Of course, I want everything to be perfect. However, perfectionism can be an extreme cause of anxiety, of that sense of needing to control, which is absolutely crippling, which I used to struggle with too.

And when you are able to realize that things can be perfect, but you don’t have to be a perfectionist, things are going to change for you. And again, actually, I’m doing a session with my 360 ladies very soon as I’m recording this on perfectionism because it is an area that needs to be tackled. And I went for ⁓ actually went to a therapist for perfectionism and I was able to totally overcome it, but I do still have to watch it because it definitely does show up. So it’s a, you know, we’re all a work in progress.

Okay, so the next one we have perfectionism, we have over preparing. The next one is procrastination. So do you find yourself procrastinating, delaying starting things because there’s a fear there? Or procrastinating on having a difficult conversation? the next one would be struggling to advocate for yourself. So do you have boundaries? Do you advocate for yourself and what you want? Or do other people hold the power?

Another one would be waiting for permission. So waiting for permission to step up, waiting for somebody to tell you you’re good enough to invest in yourself. Waiting for permission. Is that something? Or do you give yourself permission? Another one would be assuming others know more than you just because of their title. So if you’re anything like me, you might look up at your CEO and okay, your CEO may know more than you if you’re in a you know really large organization.

But I work with lots of CEOs who struggle with imposter syndrome and they are amazing at their jobs. So

it’s not a reflection on your intelligence. It is not a reflection on your capabilities or your abilities. It is absolutely not. so just please know that. Others may not know more than you, and even if they do, you have skills that they don’t. So if any of those land with you, you may have imposter syndrome.

The reason

so important today that you overcome this once and for all is because life really is short. It is so fragile. And if you’re listening to my podcast, I know you’re a high achiever. You’ve got big dreams, you’ve got big visions, you want to make an impact, but you also don’t want that to be at the expense of your work life balance or your health.

Or your relationships or your sleep or looking in the mirror and like hating what you see, like life is way too short for that. And it really is something that I invite you to start to think about tackling because it doesn’t go away on its own. You’ve got to do the work, right? you’ve got to do the work because leadership requires you to be visible.

gonna say that again. Leadership requires you to

visible, because if you’re behind the laptop.

Doing the doing, and you are not advocating for yourself, and you are not communicating in a way that lands with your seniors so that they can understand the work that you’re doing. You are not going to be seen as that strategic sought-out partner that they are looking for. You’re gonna work harder to prove something, like I did, and many of my clients did, and you’ll end up spinning your wheels wondering: like, how did I get here? What am I doing all of this for?

Like, why am I even doing this, right? Have you ever thought that? And if you’re constantly second guessing and questioning yourself, you will keep holding yourself back as well from opportunities that you’re more than capable of handling. Whether that’s an expanded scope, whether that is an additional team coming under you, whether that is a promotion, whether it’s speaking on a stage, whatever it is for you, like there’s something in you that wants more. You have desires, but

There’s a fear that’s holding you back. And then the worst thing that happens is that maybe somebody who is less capable, see it all the time, but more confident, they step forward. And then it’s frustrating. But here’s the thing: so if you’re multitasking, come back to me. I say this with so much love, but that’s on you.

Nobody’s coming to rescue you. Nobody is coming to pick you.

You have got to advocate for yourself. You have got to show up with confidence. You have got to be able to articulate yourself in a way that lands with others so that they see what is inside. Because you know you’re capable. And it’s frustrating if imposter syndrome or lack of confidence and self-belief is ruined your show.

So here’s a little reframe for you.

If you have imposter syndrome, it actually

Isn’t evidence that you’re in the wrong room or you don’t belong. Imposter syndrome actually shows up when we are in growth phase. So as humans, when we grow, if you think about yourself as a little seed in the dark, in the ground, you’re nice and cozy, you’re light nice and warm, you’re comfortable. You even though you’re in the dark, which you know, maybe you’re in a little bit of a dark phase right now, you’re still comfortable because it’s familiar. But as that little seed starts to grow,

And starts to break through the ground, it doesn’t know what to expect. Maybe it’s gonna be like Irish weather. If it’s anything like Irish weather today, it could be hailstones, it could be blistering sun, it could be snow, it could be whatever it is. And growth is uncomfortable because it means that you’re going to be challenged with things that you haven’t faced before. And just like a seed that experiences a snowstorm for the first time, it’s gonna be challenging.

But guess what? That seed becomes more resilient and you you can too. So with just a growth phase, you’ve got to take in perfect action and push yourself out of your comfort zone. And I can tell you with certainty, none of the ladies that I coach in 360 Leaders Club lack capability or intelligence or confidence. A lot of them will just lack that sense of real, unwavering self belief. And those two things are very, very, very different.

So if today’s episode resonated with you, I have created a free guide and it is to support you with imposter syndrome. So all you’ve got to do is head over to lucygernon.com forward slash imposter and we will pop the link in the show notes as well. And in there is my five step belief boost method. Now this method I have developed, I use it myself, and there’s one part of the method called the rants to power technique that all of my 360 ladies absolutely love.

It’s a reframing tool that is absolutely going to change the game for you. When you’re able to control your mindset, that is where 80% of your success comes from. So head over to lucygernon.com forward slash imposter, or we’ll pop the link in the show notes, download the guide, and please do the exercises and reach out to me. Like let me know. Did it help you? I love hearing when you get mindset shifts from my content and

You know, if you’re able to use these tools to walk into meetings and feel more confident, please reach out because it gives me so much energy back. It takes a lot of time for me to do these podcasts. And you know, I have a team behind me and I have to pay all their wages and all of those things as well. So just to kind of get the feedback back would be amazing. So please reach out to me. You can just DM me on LinkedIn is usually probably the best place to get me or on Instagram and just let me know if the tools helped. So that is it for this week’s episode of the show.

I hope that it’s given you food for thought. As a reminder, if you feel like an imposter or you feel like shrinking in certain rooms, it is your call to grow. It means you are in a growth phase and you better rise to the challenge, girl. You better rise to it, because that little girl inside you, she wants you to and I do as well. I believe in you. So next week we are diving into self worth.

And we’re going to talk about investing in yourself and why so many women still struggle to put themselves first, even though you are the breadwinner, you are the one earning, but yet you give your time and money and energy and thoughts to everybody else. And I really hope next week’s episode will help you to begin to finally see yourself and put yourself first.

So until next time, same place, same time. Bye for now. See you then.