#210 Jay Shetty Exclusive: 5 Steps to Lead with More Joy and Balance

Lucy Gernon (00:03.04)

Have you ever hit a career high and still felt a bit empty? Like everything looks amazing on paper, the title, the team, the salary, but you still feel like you’re chasing your own tail. Let me take you to Bel Air for a second. I was on retreat with my mastermind group, women who are running multi seven figure empires when I met the incredible Jay Shetty. I had an opportunity to be in a room with him in an intimate setting with exclusive access to him like most people would not normally get, which was very cool.

 

So I decided to ask him a question that literally nobody had ever asked him before because he told me so. And his answer, it absolutely floored me and actually it stopped the entire room. So in this week’s episode of the 360 Leadership podcast, I’m going to reveal exactly what he said to me and why it’s so important for you, as well as the five step framework that’s helped hundreds of my members to create real work-life balance without sacrificing their careers as our success.

 

Plus, I’m going to share the exact boundaries that allow me to travel and allow me to have an amazing career while also managing three kids, being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend and a business. So let’s get into today’s episode.

 

Lucy Gernon (01:20.856)

Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of the 360 Leadership Podcast. I’m so excited today to share something with my gorgeous podcast listeners. I’ve been meaning to record this episode for a while. If you follow me on social media, you may have seen that I had the opportunity to go to Los Angeles again for an incredible business retreat. So I wanted to share a story today about my time in LA in September.

 

So if actually, first of all, if you are not connected with me on LinkedIn or Instagram, please come over. If you want more professional, a little bit provocative content, go to LinkedIn because I often share my, I suppose, thought leadership and always fly the flag for women in leadership as well because there’s so many double standards with men and women and we won’t get into that today. But please go follow me on LinkedIn for that kind of content. And if you prefer more raw, real, authentic, behind the scenes stuff, come over and follow me on Instagram.

 

or best of all, just follow me on both. So my name is Lucy Gernon on both platforms. I think I’m the only one in the world, so you should find me easily. Okay, so picture this. I’m flying business class to LA, delighted with myself, far from business class, I was reared by the way. And I was about to spend a whole week with my mastermind group. So I am very lucky to be in an amazing community of women in leadership. And it’s one of the things that,

 

actually inspired me to start my 360 Leaders Club, my executive coaching and training program for women leaders because when I started investing in myself and joining mastermind groups and communities and training programs, when I started my business, I realized how much I was missing in the corporate world because I had done obviously loads of leadership training and internal courses and I even did coaching, but it was only when I found the power of

 

like groups and community that everything changed for me because firstly, I realized I was not alone. And second of all, I just had accountability and support to, you know, move forward myself in my business and my career and have a safe place to go to bounce ideas and to learn and to grow and develop myself, which is exactly what led me to do what I do today in 360. So I was over in L.A.

 

Lucy Gernon (03:37.135)

with the group I’m in right now with my mentor. Her name is Danielle Canty. She’s fantastic. I’ve been with her now for two years. I’m going into my second year about to renew again. 30K investment, but it’s well worth it. So I had seven full days away from my three kids, my husband and my business. And honestly, I wasn’t checking emails at midnight. I wasn’t feeling guilty. Well, I’m not going to lie. I felt a little bit guilty at times. And of course I miss my kids when I’m away.

 

but I was very present and I was able to fully focus on the business when I was over there. Now, it wasn’t always like this because if you had told me five years ago that I’d be able to take a week away, leave my kids, leave my team, without the whole thing falling apart, I would have honestly laughed because I was so in the detail. I thought I was so important because obviously I am the CEO of my business. And back then I often turned down opportunities because like who would do the school runs or…

 

you know, who would who would be able to support my clients and who would handle this and who would handle that. I was saying no to things because I couldn’t possibly, you know, I just mom guilt, right? It’s real. And it’s still there, but I’ve ways around it now. But back then, I took everything on myself because I felt like asking for help was a sign of failure. Does that sound familiar to some of you? But here’s what’s changed for me. I’ve finally learned that success without support isn’t success.

 

It’s a total recipe for burnout. So now I have boundaries and they’re real ones for the most part. That the kind that really mean that when I’m in LA, I’m fully in LA. When I’m home with my kids, I try my best to be fully present with them. Am I 100 % fully present all the time? No, but I do have a lot of tools and systems and support in place that when I catch myself slipping into old habits, I’m able to get myself out of them way quicker. So I have support at home.

 

I don’t feel guilty about that anymore. I have someone who helps me in my house. I have somebody who helps me with the school runs. I delegate and work to my team without micromanaging every single detail. I’m able to accept 80 % is good enough as opposed to my old perfectionism ways wanting everything 100 % right. And I protect my time and my energy like it’s worth something because it bloody is and so is yours. Now.

 

Lucy Gernon (05:58.883)

The reason that I’m sharing this with you is because first I want you to know three things. Number one, you actually don’t have to choose between career success and being present for your life. Number two, having support doesn’t make you less of a woman. It doesn’t make you less of a partner, of a leader, of a mother. If you have children, if you don’t, it doesn’t matter. And that’s actually, sorry, one thing that really annoys me as well, side note, is that

 

Women who don’t have kids sometimes are given, you know, they’re looked upon as differently like, you can stay late because you don’t have kids or women who are not married. you know, that kind of thing. Like you’re not going home to a partner. Maybe you can take on extra work. That’s BS. Because whether you have a family, whether you don’t, whether you’re living by yourself with your animals or completely alone, I believe that we all deserve support as women. We carry a lot, usually emotionally. And third, if I can figure this out.

 

with three kids, dozens and dozens of clients at any one time.

 

A team all over the world. I have, I don’t even know how many are on my team right now. I have contractors in place as well. Definitely have over 12 people on my team in different capacities. And I have all the chaos that comes with life. You can absolutely do it too. And you have to remember that I was in the corporate world guys for 20 years. I worked in small to medium enterprises. I worked in pharmaceutical industry. I worked in the food and beverage industry across a variety of roles from

 

quality operations, finance, project management, all of the things, site roles, dealing with global teams, dealing with people in the US, Europe, like locally in Ireland, UK, I’ve done it all, just like you. So if I can do it, you can do it, but here’s the thing. Before I tell you what Jay said, and I will tell you, I promise, I just need to ask you something. Are you exhausted?

 

Lucy Gernon (08:00.163)

from being the safe pair of hands at work. The one that everyone comes to when there’s a fire to put out. I know you are brilliant at what you do. Everyone knows that. But somehow, are you still working through lunch? Checking your emails when you’re at your kids football match or not meeting up with your partner or your boyfriend or your date because you have work to do.

 

or maybe you’re lying awake at 2 a.m. thinking about that presentation that you have to do. And here’s the thing that kills me is that you’re doing everything right. You’re strategic, you’re competent, you are delivering, but you’re also might be secretly wondering, is this it? Is this what success actually feels like? Because if success means never switching off, never being present, always being on, never having time to enjoy

 

the fruits of your labor, the joy and the beauty of our world, our planet, our families, friends, pastimes, charitable work, all the things that we want to do as women. Then honestly, what is the bloody point of it all? What’s the point in having six figure packages and

 

you know, tens of thousands in shares in the bank and long term incentive grants and, you know, equity in companies and profit shares. What’s the point of it all if you’re not happy? If you’re not content, is it worth it? And you know what I’m hearing from women like you every single day? Lucy, I’ve got the promotion, I’ve got the salary, I’ve got the title, but I haven’t seen my friends for months or

 

you know, lot of women I work with would feel a responsibility to provide for their family will feel like they’re never actually with them until they start working with me. And we make some changes, of course. And actually today I’m going to share the five, five step system that I use to start with my clients when it comes to balance. Obviously, there’s a whole, a whole plethora of training and coaching that needs to happen to, to really see transformational change. But today I am going to be giving you access to my Work Life Balance Guide, which I’ll share in a second.

 

Lucy Gernon (10:22.254)

But I also hear things like, I’m so busy being successful, I’ve actually forgotten what makes me happy. And here’s what’s actually happening. You’re not leading your life, you are reacting to it. Every day, it’s just fire after fire, right? Managing other people’s priorities, cleaning up the messes from other people, biting your tongue when he takes up all the air time in the meeting again, or you get cut off or not listened to.

 

keeping the plates spinning. And that’s not leadership, that’s survival mode. And I get it, I really do get it because I’ve been there. And like I’ve said to you guys, I am not perfect. I do not stand here in a pedestal to say I have all my shit together because I absolutely don’t. But what I do have is tools, support around me so that when I’m able, when I get into those states where I get into survival mode,

 

I’m able to get myself out of it. Big four becomes a huge problem. And because I know that you’re good at what you do as well, everybody wants a piece of you because one of my clients was sharing the other day that, you know, her boss always knows that she’ll deliver her team, come to her all the time because they know that she’ll fix it. And her family knows that she’ll always be there. She’ll be the one to handle it. But who’s handling you? Who’s in your corner?

 

So now I want to talk to you about what Jay told me. So the reason I tell you that story is because I really want you to know that I understand your world. I really, really do. And I want to share some wisdom from Jay because you’ve been so patient. So let me share what Jay said to me. So let me just set the scene. We are sitting in this gorgeous mansion in Bel Air. It was absolutely stunning. And…

 

we had the opportunity to ask him a question. Now, first of all, guys, when I see celebrities or people, I don’t look at anybody as being, my God, it’s Jay Shetty. He’s an amazing person, but I’m an amazing person. You’re an amazing person. We’re all equal in my eyes. So that would never faze me in that way. In fact, I was just chatting to him as if I knew my whole life. But I decided to ask him a question. And I thought because of you, my gorgeous podcast listeners, I was like,

 

Lucy Gernon (12:40.182)

What would they want to know? So you know that at the end of every episode, when I have guests, I always ask them, what do success, balance and happiness mean to you? So I decided to ask Jada’s question and with his answer, honestly, it shifted the entire dynamic of the room. It shifted the energy. You could hear a pin drop as he spoke these words because he paused. He looked right at me with those gorgeous blue eyes and he said,

 

Success requires strategy, but happiness, happiness requires habits. So I’m gonna say that again. Success requires strategy, but happiness requires habits. The room went silent and then he said something else. He said that most people are strategic about their success, but they leave their happiness to chance. They plan their careers, but they wing their joy.

 

And it gave me goosebumps because I realized in that moment that I had been doing that and I had forgotten to build in more joy into my day. And when I came home, I was like, right, we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this because I really realized that I had slipped back in onto the hamster wheel. It’s been a crazy year in my business. And just hearing him say that really gave me a bit of a, what you call it, like defibrillator to make some changes. And it gave me goosebumps.

 

And it also got me thinking about how many habits I have implemented into my life. I’m really taking care of my health and wellness. I go to the gym. I have my personal trainer. I have, you know, somebody helping me in the house. So I’m able to be there for my children and I’m able to have date nights with my husband. is there work to do? Yeah, there always is. We always want more. But I think it’s about just being aware that if you don’t plan for joy,

 

Joy is not gonna happen. Because if you think about it, right, you probably have a five year career plan or you’re focused on where you’re going. And you know exactly what role you want next, or maybe you know that you have an idea about where you wanna go. You might have mapped out the skills you need, you’re strategic about every move. But when was the last time you were intentional about your happiness and your time? When was the last time that you strategically planned your joy? You looked at your life.

 

Lucy Gernon (15:04.672)

not just your work calendar. Because I can tell you that Jay, he doesn’t leave happiness to chance. He builds systems for it. He was sharing how he has daily habits that guarantee he’s successful, not just successful, but actually happy. And that’s when it hit me. And that’s literally what my most successful clients do differently. I see their growth when they start working with me. It’s just so amazing to see that even though

 

you know, executive coaching, leadership development. You know, we do lots of stuff on conflict management, positive psychology tools. I weave in everything to try to support women leaders with all the tools you need, not just for leadership. You get all of that and work. But what you get different with me is you get self leadership tools, you get joy, you get passion, you get excited about what’s possible. And as a result, you will literally change not just your career and it’ll be your life, too. And it got me thinking about

 

Yeah, I see the growth of my clients when they come in and they start holding themselves accountable. They start using the executive efficiency system, my CEO power hour, getting strategic about their work, actually having accountability in place to make sure that they’re strategic and don’t get stuck in the hamster wheel. And like, I’m just thinking of one of my clients, Linda, like she’s still going to the gym consistently to two and a half years later after working together. Lots of them are. And that just makes me so happy.

 

Like and she’s been promoted to. So I want you to know, like I have so many stories I could share in this podcast. In fact, I’ll link a couple in the show notes of a couple of past clients if you want to go back and listen to their transformations. Just so you know, it’s not just me sharing, you know. This all this stuff, because it is possible I need to hear from other people. So I’m curious for you. I’ve been talking about me. What are your happiness habits?

 

Or are you still believing things like self-care is selfish, I have to earn my rest if I slow down, I’ll fall behind, or when I achieve X, then I’ll be happy? Well, let me tell you something, lovely lady. Happiness isn’t a reward for working yourself into the ground. It’s not something you have to have someday when you finally make it to the C-suite if that’s what you want. Happiness is something you build.

 

Lucy Gernon (17:26.722)

daily with habits, with boundaries, with intention. And before you roll your eyes at me and think, here we go, Lucy’s about to tell me to meditate or say something positive. I bet my clients are laughing if they’re listening to this bit. No, it’s not all about bubble baths and yoga, if that’s not for you, but it’s about practical systems that protect your energy while you accelerate your career. So let’s talk about the thing you keep avoiding.

 

boundaries. And I know, I know the word might make you feel uncomfortable. I prefer to call them. I shared this with Forbes actually, when I did that Forbes article, they reached out to me to do another one and really need to make time to do it. But

 

I prefer to look at boundaries as something different. I remember I was in a pharmaceutical company in Ireland a couple of years ago. And when I was doing some training with their leaders on boundaries, a lot of them didn’t like the word boundaries because it sounds quite uncollaborative, right? But in my mind, I never saw boundaries as being rigid, like, my God, no, I’m not doing this for you. I prefer to think about boundaries as collaboration guidelines. So your boundaries,

 

To me, I believe personally, as humans, we’re part of a tribe and we never let someone in our company fail. We never let somebody in our lives fail. I believe we all should support each other, but I don’t believe it should be at the expense of your energy, your time or your wellbeing. So I prefer to think of boundaries as collaboration guidelines, okay? Because I think sometimes when we say yes to everything,

 

Every time you say yes, you’re saying no to something else. So is this this yes that you’re going to say today actually in alignment with your values and who you are and what you want? And a lot of leaders don’t like setting boundaries. A lot of the women I work with, they come to me and they don’t have great boundaries for saying yes when they want to say no, because somewhere along the way we’ve learned that good leaders don’t have boundaries. We’re servant leaders and

 

Lucy Gernon (19:35.823)

Good mothers don’t have boundaries and good women definitely don’t have boundaries. But here’s what I learned in LA, surrounded by women running multi-million dollar empires. The most successful and happy women actually have the strongest boundaries. They’re not available 24 seven, they don’t apologize for protecting their time, they have systems and support in place, then they delegate without guilt. And you know what? They’re not just more successful, they’re happier.

 

Boundaries are not walls, they’re bridges to the life you actually want. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me, I’m gonna say that again. Boundaries are not walls, they are bridges to the life that you actually want. So look, I could talk to you about this all day, but inspiration without implementation is just a waste of your time. So I have created something for you. I have a five step system that I share with my…

 

clients and my 360 members to support you to achieve better balance. And when I say better balance, I’m talking about reclaiming time, reclaiming headspace, reclaiming energy, reclaiming control of where you’re actually spending your time so that you can have the happiness, you can have the success, you can have the balance. And my executive level clients guys have used this and they’re running like multi-billion dollar revenue streams.

 

And I’ve also had women who were in senior management roles who don’t even have a team behind them and they are project managers. So it doesn’t matter whether you’re at the higher end of leadership or you’re just start now in kind of senior leadership roles. It really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. The principles are exactly the same. And in this guide, if you just go to lucygernon.com forward slash balance, that’s lucygernon.com forward slash balance, you’ll be able to download it there for free.

 

That’s a beautiful PDF. It’s digitally fillable so you can work through the sections, which I’m going to share with you right now. And it isn’t fluffy. Find your why stuff. It is practical. It is tactical and it works. So let me walk you through the five steps and then you can go and grab the guide. So step one is you’ve got to assess your current reality. Huge mistake a lot of women leaders make is we just stay on the hamster wheel without actually pausing and looking at

 

Lucy Gernon (21:56.929)

where things are at. So you want to look at where your time and your energy are actually going versus where you want them to go. Then in step two, we shift your mindset because those limiting beliefs about rest and boundaries and how you feel about yourself, they are the things that are keeping you stuck. Then in step three, you’re going to learn my dad method for boundary setting. And this alone will change your life. And it’s all very systemized. I think I’ve told you guys many times I

 

I’m a scientist by training, so I love methods. I love structure. I love frameworks. It makes me feel safe. It gives me something to lean on. So everything I do is always structured and frameworks. And that’s why we have actually my client retention rate this year is up at like 65 % because we’ve really doubled down on our customer experience. And I know that the systems that I have in place in 360 are the things that are keeping the ladies coming back. And it makes me so, so happy just to see the impact. So I just want you to know that this guide is exactly the same.

 

It is frameworked, it is structured, it is easy to follow. So the fourth step then is you’re going to get my more time prioritization matrix. And this is based on the Eisenhower matrix. But again, a lot of the flaws I find in my experience with these leadership and time management tools is they’re very tactical, but they don’t address the emotional side that somebody may be feeling.

 

Limiting belief that stopping the person or the cognitive understanding of what is urgent and important is very subjective. So I modified it to bring in a lot of human psychology in making it more simple for you to actually prioritize your workload, because he who shouts the loudest does not mean it is an urgent and important task. And unfortunately, a lot of us react to energy. So you’ll get that in the guide. So useful. So many people have told me they have a printed and on their desk or they share with their teams.

 

because it will help you to look at what should be done, what will move the needle, what you can actually delegate and you’re gonna feel good about delegating and what you need to bloody stop doing, okay? And then the final step is implementation because knowledge without action is literally just, again, it’s a waste of your time. I don’t want you to listen to this podcast and just go, oh, that was inspirational. No, no, no, girl. If you wanna make change, you’ve got to actually.

 

Lucy Gernon (24:14.86)

do something. Okay. So the first step I invite you to do is to go to lucygarn.com forward slash balance, grab that work life balance guide and start to go through the steps. The guide even has a habit tracker. Okay. Just even a habit tracker in there because remember what Jay Shetty said, happiness requires habits. And if you want to make changes, lovely lady, you’ve got to put in the work. No one’s going to do for you. So

 

This is for you, right? If you want more headspace to actually think strategically instead of always firefighting. If you want more time, not more hours in the day, but you want more presence in the hours you have. And if you want to accelerate your career without burning out or missing out in life, and if you’re just tired of choosing between success and happiness all of the time, it is absolutely for you. Because here’s the truth, you do not need more time management tips. What you need now is a complete reset on how you are looking.

 

at your time, your energy and what actually matters. So here’s what I invite you to do right now. Head over to lucygarden.com forward slash balance. Grab the guide. It is completely free, okay? It’s just a framework that has worked for hundreds of women just like you. And while you’re there, you will also, if you want, you can sign up for my Sunday night newsletter. So in there, every Sunday night, I send a weekly newsletter that helps you to balance the Monday night Monday scaries. So that’s at lucygarden.com forward slash newsletter.

 

I give you tools, real stories from the trenches and lots of exclusive content you will not find anywhere else. It’s like having me as your personal executive coach in your pocket who actually gets you. So if you love this podcast, definitely go and sign up to my newsletter every week. And if you need more time, more headspace, if you feel like you need a little reset and you’re ready to put in the work, not just passively listen, but take action.

 

I invite you to go grab the Balance Guide at lucygarnet.com forward slash balance. So you will find that link in the show notes too. So before you go, let me ask you one more thing. What would 10 % more happiness look like in your week? Not 100%, just 10%. Maybe it’s leaving work at 5pm twice a week. Maybe it’s having lunch away from your desk. Maybe it’s saying no to that meeting that should be an email. Start there. Start small.

 

Lucy Gernon (26:37.58)

because you don’t need to overhaul your entire life. just need to decide to lead it intentionally. Stop going where the boat takes you. And I invite you to become captain of your own ship. Because remember, success requires strategy and happiness requires habits. So go build some happy habits. You absolutely deserve them. Until next time.

 

Be bold, be brave, lead with those habits and that support your happiness. You deserve to have it all, lovely lady. So that’s it for this week’s episode of the show. Until next week, same time, same place. Bye for now.