0:02
Welcome to the powerhouse Revolution Podcast. I’m Lucy Gernon, ex corporate leader turned CEO of my dream business, helping corporate female leaders just like you to create your dream career and life. At 40, I quit the corporate world as I was tired of doing a job that no longer led me up and wanted to live my life my way. I created the power house Revolution podcast, to give you simple, actionable tips and strategies to help you create the perfect career and lifestyle that you and your family deserve. So if you’re a corporate female leader or manager who is ready to step into her superpowers and live the life you were born to live, you are definitely in the right place, because life is way too short to dread Mondays. Okay, let’s jump into today’s episode.
1:01
Before you listen to this week’s episode, I want to give you a trigger warning. I’m talking about childhood stuff here. And I’m speaking from the heart. I recorded this episode directly after three or four sessions with with clients where we dug into some beliefs that they held about themselves, which were holding them back from being the best leader and the best version of themselves. So I get quite deep in this episode. So if that’s not for you come back to come back to this when you are ready. And I hope you enjoy it. Hello, everyone. And welcome back to the powerhouse Revolution podcast. I hope you’re having an absolutely wonderful, wonderful week, and that you have something really nice planned for yourself at the weekend. So today, I’m coming to you with a topic I have not, I have nothing planned for this order that I’m going to speak to you directly from my heart. And it’s something that I haven’t really spoken, I wouldn’t think I’ve spoken much about it on the podcast, but it’s something I do with my one to one clients. And what’s inspired me to come on today to talk about childhood is because as part of my one to one program, powerhouse revolution for the people who need it, I do a what I call a subconscious mind upgrade. And as part of that method, it is all about going back to your childhood, because you hold beliefs about yourself that were formed, usually under the age of seven. And these beliefs are your core beliefs, and they’re so deeply ingrained in who you are. And you can’t even see them, you believe them so much that you you can’t see that they’re actually fictitious. So some beliefs that would be very common that I would see that high achiever and women in leadership would hold would be I’m not good enough. Or I don’t deserve love. Or others think I’m stupid. And these beliefs are the things that fuel high achievers to achieve more. So I want you to know that if you are resonating what I’m saying, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I want you to know that many of the women I work with in order to be more successful. We’ve got to work on your mindset. And I had a copilot lines today that I worked through this tool with and I get quite emotional. And people might say, What’s this got to do with career or What’s this got to do with leadership? Like I’m not a therapist, I am not there to heal you from your past. But sometimes you can get totally stuck. And I’m talking to you really if you’re in your 40s or 50s or 60s, because that’s typically when you get to the age where you have this new sense of perspective, you have a new sense of understanding and you’re able to see things a little bit differently. So in order for you to move forward, sometimes we can be really stuck on things from our childhoods that we need to let go of before we can truly move forward. So for example, I had a client recently who I was working through my method, WIC. And it came up that when she was a child, she was one of the eldest, which is very common, I’m an eldest child as well. And as the eldest children, sometimes you can take on a lot of responsibility. And when you do that, sometimes you don’t get the love that you deserve from your parents. Or you may not have got the love that you craved from your parents, unless you did something that warranted praise. So for example, this particular client got a lot of praise when she did really well in school. So she made that mean about herself that actually when I do well, it means I’m worthy. And when I’m worthy, I receive love. So I’m going to do more things. I’m going to achieve more Because that means I’m enough if I do enough, but I want you to know that if, if that’s you right now, that that’s not true. That’s simply a belief that you have held about yourself for however many years, and he wants you to know that you are good enough, just as you are, you don’t need to achieve another thing. And all those beliefs you hold about yourself are simply just beliefs. They’re not true. Now, I know you probably can’t see that right now. I know you probably can’t see that right now. But I promise you as somebody who believed for years, that she wasn’t good enough. I now know that I am, because I’ve done the inner work. And you know, those colleagues who drive you crazy, the ones who are perfectionist, or maybe you’re one yourself, that’s because that was their way of surviving and childhood, they had to have things perfect because oftentimes, people who are real sticklers or perfectionist grew up in a quite a chaotic childhood environment. They they did what they needed to do to survive. So their way of feeling in control and safe was to have everything perfect. So the next time you kind of feel like given out about somebody for being a perfectionist, or for asking for let last minute requests on a document when it was already, please know what’s common from their childhood, please know that they’re not doing this just to make your life difficult. They’re doing this because this is their way of working so that they actually feel safe. Or if you’re a people pleaser, no, again, that was a survival mechanism from childhood. In order to survive, you decided that you were going to be a good girl and you were going to please people. And sometimes then that carries through to into your adult life. But nobody tells you that actually, you don’t need to please people in order to be worthy, that you’re safe as an adult. Or if you are somebody you know, doesn’t like conflict. It’s because you learned as a child that maybe there was a lot of conflict in your home. And in order to survive, you hid away from that conflict, you backed away from it. And nobody ever taught you how to deal with this. Because maybe in your home growing up, everything was brushed under the carpet. So again, it’s not your fault if you’re not able to handle conflict. And equally, if somebody in your life, maybe your significant other doesn’t like talking about things, maybe it’s you yourself. Again, just know that that was a childhood survival mechanism. However, you are an adult now. And the thing that nobody tells us is that it’s okay to let this go. Now can be difficult to do on your own. And if you’re finding this conversation triggering, just know that I’m here to support you. And if you want to do any one to one work with me, absolutely, please just slide into my DMs with the word powerhouse. And I can share a little bit about my program and how I could support you. But you can’t let go of this you can let go of this childhood story that has been on your heart for so many years that blocked you that’s held you back that’s made you feel like you’re not enough, you were always enough. So to support you, I’m going to share the method that I use with my clients to help you to move forward if you are feeling stuck, and that you know there’s things in your childhood that are holding you back. Now, I’m going to preface this by saying again, I am not a therapist, I’m not a counselor. And if you have childhood trauma that you haven’t healed from, I would recommend that you use your EAP program to seek out some counseling. It’s not stupid, you’re not stupid. It’s not ridiculous that you’re feeling this way, your feelings are entirely valid, but until you heal from the stuff from your childhood, and trust me from somebody who has been there and done that, you’ll never really move forward. And you’ll never really step into that next best version of yourself, which I know is something that you want to do. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me or if you want to work through this, pause this podcast and come back to it when you’re ready. So the first step really to change in that narrative in your mind about yourself and really upgrading your subconscious mind is awareness. So you need to firstly identify what beliefs are no longer serving you.
9:29
The second thing that you need to do is you need to get to the root cause so when I work with my clients we go through I help them through this because it can be quite difficult to do alone is to think back to your childhood. And think about okay, what specific memories do I have? Because as a child, you’re trying to make sense of the world around you. And if your parents shouted at you or you came home from school one day with a test result and you were completely ignored. You made that mean something about you, okay? So it’s about understanding where it came from. and you will have those memories most likely. The third step then is, in that moment, what did you make that mean about you? So we want to start thinking about the reference that we use. So as a child, you had no reference bank, you’re trying to make sense of things. So if something bad quote unquote, happened, you made that mean something about you. So what did you make that mean about you? It’s probably something like, I’m not enough, or I’m stupid, or I’m not worthy. They’re usually very, very common beliefs. And then I challenge you to think about, okay, now as an adult, looking back with the wisdom that you have, what other reason could there have been for that person saying that thing or doing that thing to you in that moment, what would be a more supportive meaning. So for example, I had a client, who, again, her aunt was very picky with her when it came to her education. And again, I will never ever share identities or anything like this, okay, I’m just sharing this to help some of you to kind of put it into perspective. So, yeah, her aunt was always very finicky. When it came to education, she was always pushing them to do more, and her parents didn’t really care too much about education. So she felt all this pressure from her aunt, and she thought her parents didn’t care. But when I worked through this with her, she was able to actually see that the reason her aunt was getting involved was because her aunt was actually a teacher. And her aunt had a vested interest in her education. And at the root of it all the reason her aunt spent so much time nitpicking, as she saw it, is because her aunt cared so bloody much about her that she was willing to put in the time and effort into it, because her parents weren’t academic, and didn’t have that background. So as an adult, who had a different perspective, she was able to see that actually, I was never stupid, it was actually that my aunt cared so much, she gave up her time to be with me. And the reason my parents didn’t is because they didn’t have the capability and never meant anything about me. So let’s just to put it into perspective. The next thing to do then is to create new beliefs. So instead of thinking I’m not good enough, or I’m stupid, or I’m whatever, you can choose a new belief, once you are able to let go of the old ones. Okay, so come up with those. And then the next step is to choose to let go. So you can only really let go when you’ve healed. So again, if there’s something really traumatic, I would really recommend that you go to counseling or to therapy to heal from it. And when you have fully healed from it, you can let go of that belief. And I have various different tools that I share with my clients to help you that are so so powerful to let go of that belief. And once again, once you have actually let go of it, the next step is to use positive affirmations. So it’s to come up with a list of affirmations that will be supportive and empowering for you, that you will say every single day to make until you believe it basically is what He wants you to do. And then the next step is to change your behaviors. So you can see there’s quite a lot in this, it does take some time for us to change your behaviors and align your behavior to your new belief. So if you want to believe you’re worthy of love, you need to start acting like you are, you need to start seeking out hugs, you need to start seeking out kisses, you need to start seeking out things that are going to push you out of your comfort zone, you’ve got to face that fear and realize that you were worthy of it all along. So that’s it for this week’s episode. I know this is super deep. But I just felt inspired to record it. Because I’ve seen this method helped so many women in leadership who wonder why they’re perfectionist or wonder wide or people pleasers or they’re holding themselves back in their career and showing up as a lesser version of themselves. And when they do this with me, they literally step into the best version of themselves. And that’s what I want for each and every one of my listeners. But I know that it’s difficult to figure this out alone. I know that it’s hard. And this is only one step in a very large puzzle to really helping you step into the best version of yourself. So I would love to support you if this is resonating with you. So if you are interested in working with me one to one, so that you can be more successful, balanced and happy on your terms. Please just reach out to me. I’ll be taking on new clients very, very soon if I’m not already and telling me what you need. Because unless you’re able to let go of the beliefs that don’t serve you, unless you’re able to let go of everything, you cannot step into the best version of yourself. You cannot develop as a senior leader. You’re always going to be holding yourself back. And in my program we don’t always we don’t just do this stuff. We do everything from coaching your team, to how to prioritize as to how to delegate to how to handle difficult people to how to be more effective communicator, it’s the whole package. But before I get to all of that stuff, we have got to work on the mindset. And I’ve got to get you to see how everyone else sees you, which is that you are bloody amazing. And don’t ever forget this. If you’re multitasking come back to me. You are you. And that is your superpower. There is only one you. Nobody does you like you do, and nobody else is you. So on that note, I’m going to bid you adieu, oh my god, this is all writing. And I’m gonna see you next week. So again, if you would like to work with me one to one, just you can DM me the word powerhouse on Instagram, or in LinkedIn. Or you can just send me an email to Hello at Lucy garland.com and inquire about one to one coaching. I would love nothing more than to be there for you to help you to break through those limiting beliefs to help you step into the next best version of yourself to help you to be that the best leader, the best woman, the West wife, the best friend, the best mother, the best daughter, because that person is you. It just needs to be unlocked. So again, I will put everything in the show notes. I can’t wait to hear from you. And for those of you who are not ready for that step, keep listen to the podcast. Reflect on what I’ve said and come back to this episode when you’re ready to process. Okay, have a wonderful wonderful rest of your day.
