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#163 How to Deal With Dominant Male Energy in the Workplace
The 360 Leadhership Podcast, Episode 163, 02 February 2025 by Lucy Gernon
Have you ever found yourself sitting in a meeting, ready to contribute, only to be dismissed, interrupted, or undermined?
It’s a scenario many women in leadership roles face, especially in male-dominated industries like STEM and finance.
In this episode of the 360 LeadHERship podcast, I share a raw, personal story of standing up to dominant energy at work—and the life-changing lessons it taught me about leadership, self-respect, and reclaiming your power.
If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate dominant male energy, this episode is your guide to transforming workplace challenges into opportunities for growth.
Tune in to discover:
- How to Handle Public Disrespect with Confidence
- Why compassion doesn’t mean compromising your boundaries
- The roots of dominant behavior and how social conditioning shapes it in male-dominated environments
- The dynamics of masculine and feminine energy
- Practical Mindset Shifts to Reclaim Your Power at Work
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Lucy Gernon (00:28.152)
Let me take you back to a moment that really tested my self-respect. A male leader in a meeting called me the most awful name in front of everyone, including my boss. What was my reaction? I stood up, I closed my laptop and I walked out. But what happened next taught me a powerful lesson about poor leadership, standing your ground and reclaiming your power. This really matters because dominant male energy is something that so many women
face in the workplace. And today I’m going to show you how to handle it with confidence while staying true to yourself. And by the way, if this topic resonates, I’m going to be diving much deeper into this in my Sunday night newsletter, where I’m going to be sharing three powerful mantras that you can use to prepare yourself for this challenging energy at work. All you’ve got to do is head over to lucygarnon.com forward slash newsletter to sign up and it is totally free.
Lucy Gernon (01:26.106)
Hi there and welcome back to the 360 Leadership Podcast. I am your host, Lucy Gardin. And today we are going to be diving into a topic that is very, very close to my heart. brings up a lot of trauma, but we’re all good. And we’re going to get into the story with you today. If this episode resonates with you, I would love to invite you to sign up for my newsletter because we’ve changed things up in 2025 and every single Sunday, we are sending out a very special Sunday night newsletter designed to empower you for the week ahead.
We are going to be releasing the podcast, talking about the podcast that day and diving in a lot deeper with three mantras that you can use to prepare yourself for any challenging situation at work. So if you’re not already on my newsletter, please head over to lucygarnon.com forward slash newsletter. Very, very simple. And I look forward to hearing your feedback. So today we are going to be talking about this topic, all about this topic of dealing with dominant male energy in the workplace.
And the reason I know that’s important for many of my listeners is because a lot of you guys work in STEM, in financial services and in industries that are really male dominated. the higher up the ladder you go, right, the less women that are there and the more sometimes you can doubt yourself, you can kind of lack assertiveness or you can go the other extreme and be too assertive and too dominant. So it’s like you can’t win. But today I want to hopefully bust all of that for you and support you.
So let me just set the scene for a second. Many years ago, I was in a big meeting and the stakes were high. There was a lot of tension in the air. There was a lot of cross-functional. There was a new person who had joined the team and we were trying to figure out this particular process for how all the departments would work together. You know, those kinds of ones? Yeah, they’re kind of a little bit challenging. So there was a lot of tension. was like a, you know, it was a really busy time anyway.
And I remember sitting in the meeting room surrounded by about six women, three men. One of them was my boss. And this particular person was trying to get his point across. So myself and my colleague, who was also female, were challenging him because we didn’t really understand the ask, right. And he was really stressed. But he turned around and he called me the most awful name. Well, the two of us in front of the whole group. My reaction was.
Lucy Gernon (03:49.018)
I walked out, I got up, I closed my laptop. I was in such shock, disbelief. I was angry because I had looked around the room and I had looked for support from the other women who were at the table and all of them stayed silent. My boss also stayed silent and the meeting started to continue on as if nothing had happened. Now, there was no way was I going to stand for that. So I just politely
paused and I just said, listen, I’m sorry, I can’t stay here and listen to this. I need to take a breather. So I got up. I was just totally shocked. And I went out to the tea room and I remember my boss followed me out. But instead of getting support, I was actually scolded and I was told, don’t ever leave this meeting again. So I knew in that moment, I was like, whoa, how is this being turned around on me when this
male has just who, by the way, I had a great relationship with, which is funny enough. How am I the one kind of getting in trouble, if you like? So I knew in the moment that there was no point having the conversation there and then. But instead of letting it slide and instead of going home to my husband and giving out, I decided to confront. So two things that I did, the first thing that I did is I went up to my boss later that day when things had calmed down.
And I told him that I wasn’t very happy that he didn’t support me. I explained to him that that kind of behavior was unacceptable and that if that ever happened again, I would leave his meeting. I assured him that I, know, obviously I was there for the company, which I was, but that that kind of behavior was totally disrespectful. Now, because I confronted my boss about this.
kind of calmly and firmly, he knew I wasn’t somebody that could be dismissed. I stood my ground in that moment. And as for the male, I let him be. I wasn’t going to go to him, but I’m also the kind of person, guys, and if you’re multitasking, please come back to me. For too long, I allowed other people to take away my power, and I made a decision in that moment to choose compassion over conflict.
Lucy Gernon (06:09.782)
I knew that this male leader was under serious pressure. And of course, then the whole the whole company kind of knew what our department, everybody knew what was kind of happening. And I had heard that he was under a lot of pressure. So the next day he sent me a message and he asked me to meet him. I went over and I met him and he broke down. He broke down and told me he was under so much pressure. He apologized and I forgave him.
Now, female colleague counterpart didn’t forgive him, and that’s her choice. But for me, I just I always choose compassion because at the end of the day, the only person that suffers when you hold resentment or a grudge against somebody at work is you. Because every time you see that person, you’re going to it’s going to bring up anger in you. It’s going to take your focus away from what you’re trying to achieve. And ultimately, it takes away your personal power. So I choose to let it go.
So I suppose the key takeaway from that story is sometimes people are going through stuff and I believe that you absolutely set boundaries. You absolutely stand your ground. But please try some self-compassion, try some compassion for the other person. I had a client there in 360 Leaders Club recently and it comes up quite a lot actually with people who are trying to handle challenging dominant energy at work. And this particular person, she was really
I’m not going to say upset, but frustrated by this person so much so that it was I could tell it was really taken away from her performance. It was damaging her brand. It was damaging, I suppose, how she was being viewed by those other stakeholders. So we work together on, I suppose, how to shift her mindset, how to really step into leadership, because leaders don’t allow that shit to affect them as much. Right. We just we’ve just got to let it go.
And what she realized was is that she was actually allowing that person to take away her power and she chose peace instead of that. So I just wanted to set the scene with the story. And if you are going through anything like that, I want you to remember you always have a choice. So now let’s shift to what does dominant male energy even look like? Now, I want to preface this with when I say dominant male energy, this does not mean men.
Lucy Gernon (08:31.406)
Now, if you’re multitasking, come back to me. The men get a bit of a hard rap, right? And I’m very pro men. I’m very pro equality. I’m very pro everybody. Every human on this earth, in my opinion, has the right to fulfill their potential. We only get one shot. So it’s not about men versus women. It is about understanding energies. And whether you’re male or whether you’re female, we all have male and female energy within us.
So feminine energy tends to be more nurturing, more compassionate, more understanding, more kind, more like collaborative. That’s all very feminine energy. Whereas dominant male energy is more like can be quite confrontational, can be strong. But then the negatives of that would be you might be being interrupted, people talking over you, dismissing your ideas, undermining your authority. So why does this even happen?
as first of all. So first of all, with women who do it, it can be, it all goes back to childhood and it all goes back to conditioning, right? It’s a survival mechanism, guys. It’s a survival mechanism. And in particular with men, the reason it happens with men in particular is because of social conditioning, because many men will equate dominance and authority with leadership. And this can be often
an insecurity that is masked as arrogance. And unfortunately, corporate culture often rewards this behavior. So there is, there does need to be a shift, but it’s not about the men are wrong and the women are right. It’s about finding the balance guys. Now we know like not every lad is like that, thank God, but we all know a few who act like Donald Trump when they’re in a tiny little meeting room in a company in Dublin, right? They’re not Donald Trump.
but sometimes I think that they are and that’s okay, more power to them. But you as a female, if you are not ready for that energy or you haven’t worked with a coach like me yet to really work on your mindset, your self leadership, your confidence, your own self-worth, your own conflict management skills and all those things you need to really succeed in the corporate world, it can be really, really difficult, right? Because 80 % of
Lucy Gernon (10:56.25)
everything you do in leadership is psychology, by the way. And if you’re multitasking, come back to me. You can be the most technically minded, business savvy, technical person in the world. You can deliver amazing operational results. But leadership is 80 % psychology and understanding humans. And it’s all about that. It’s all about that. And that’s what I teach when you come work with me. So if you’re interested in learning about working with me.
You can just head over to lucygarden.com forward slash apply and you can apply to work with me and I will let you know when spots open up again. OK. Now let’s move on to the topic of the day. How do we actually handle it? So picture this. You’re sitting in a meeting with him. I want you to think of that one male in your world that drives you mental, that makes you feel belittled, that every time you see him, he just
he annoys you, right? I know most of you have this person in mind. So let’s talk about that. The first thing I invite you to do is to stay calm and collected. You set a powerful intention before walking into any meeting with this person that you’re going to be chill because that gives you power, right? So when the person does their usual thing of interrupting, speaking over,
being all dominant, being all, you know, taking credit for everything. You actually have power because you already know this, but it’s about leveraging, right? So you set a powerful intention and then when it happens, you pause, power pause, you breathe, and you don’t react emotionally because a cool head wins every single time, okay? So the first step is when you feel yourself getting triggered,
You’ve got to stay calm. And how you do that is you set an intention before going into the meeting that you’re going to be calm. Got it? Okay, great. The second thing is you need to stand your ground gracefully. It’s really important to have a bank of assertive phrases that you can use in the moment. And this is something I give you when you work with me as well. I have phrases for everything and they’re so universal, so, so good. But for example,
Lucy Gernon (13:21.494)
If somebody interrupts you, you do not have to allow that interruption because actually it’s a power play. And I know you don’t like the politics. However, girls, either being a, you’re either a player in the game, playing the political game, or you’re being played by the game. And I sure as hell do not want to be played by any game. I’d much rather be involved in it. Right?
So you have got to get yourself ready and you would like to say something like, if somebody interrupts you, this is a good one. I’d like to finish my thoughts and then just continue talking. That’s it. You don’t have to invite it. It’s an energy of assertiveness. I’d like to finish my thoughts. So as I was saying, John, I believe and I recommend very, good phrases to use that this is the path we should take and here’s why. And you just continue, but it’s about the energy that you’re using.
when you say that. Got it? Good. Number three, you can take it offline if needed. God, do we hate that phrase, but what else can we say? Let’s take it offline. If somebody, and this is so important, if you’re multitasking, please come back to me. If somebody is consistently speaking over you, they’re most likely not aware, first of all. You probably have this whole story in your head about…
how they’re out to get you and they don’t like you or they’re trying to steal your limelight. Stop with that story. It is not helpful. Is it? It’s not helpful to you. My only concern is you girls. Everyone who listens to this podcast, my clients, the most amazing women in corporate leadership, anything I ever share with you is always with the intent to help your mental wellbeing, your success. Right? It’s not about letting him win. It’s about giving you peace.
So you’ve got to have the cojones to address that behavior one to one. And you might say something like, hey, John, can I just catch you for a second after? And then you would just share, listen, that comment didn’t sit right with me and I just wanted to share with you how it came across. And again, continue talking. Don’t get in with an invitation or you might, it depends on the dynamic, just say, would you be open to some feedback?
Lucy Gernon (15:41.496)
and pause and see what they say. And if he says no, you know that you’re speaking to somebody who’s in a highly emotional state. All right, because most leaders at your level and most of the women I work with would be directors, VPs, SVP level. If you’ve got to that far, usually you are very open to feedback. OK, so I would definitely recommend that you address it. If you don’t, it’s going to fester. The fourth thing, then, is to to build long term resilience. You’ve got to set boundaries.
I’ve said this a million times, but you teach people how to treat you and the little girl inside you might be holding you back. Tell her she needs to grow up a little, tell her that she’s safe, tell her you’re in this wonderful game of corporate life and it’s okay for you to speak up. Build a network of trusted allies at work. And also that’s exactly why I founded 360Liters Club because I saw
how difficult and challenging it is for women in male dominated industries. I’ve seen it. I understand the psychology behind it. I understand why a lot of my clients don’t feel safe to speak up. And there’s a lot of steps you need to take to truly build confidence and self-belief in yourself so that when you’re in these situations at work, you are not, you know, doubting your abilities and you feel good enough to set boundaries. Like I’ve had so many clients.
so many clients who have done this. once you begin to do this once or twice, three, four times, you’re going to realize there was never a problem to begin with and you should always have done it, right? So that’s the second thing. And then lastly is mindset work is absolutely crucial in leadership. Absolutely crucial. Of all of the top leaders that I have worked with, interviewed,
the biggest transformations when people come to work with me and the leaders that I know outside of my own business, entrepreneurs. All of them know it’s 80 % mindset. Success is 80 % mindset and it’s only 20 % tactics, technical, okay? Everything else is mindset. Everything else is soft skills. Yet most of you guys focus on the 20%, right? And then you wonder why life is so hard. Master your mindset.
Lucy Gernon (18:01.078)
Learn to lead yourself and your life will change. And lucky for you, this week’s episode, in this week’s newsletter, if you’re dealing with this kind of male dominated energy at work or you want to prepare for it, you’ve got to sign up for my newsletter because I’m going to be diving a lot deeper into this topic and you can read it and you can keep the emails so that for future when you’re in this situation and you’re like, what did she say to do? You can go back to the email. You can just literally save it.
because I’m sharing three really powerful mantras that will help you stand tall in any room, no matter who’s in it. So just head over to lucygardland.com forward slash newsletter and sign up and it’s totally free. Okay. Every Sunday night, I am sending that to you and you’re going to feel great for the week ahead. So that’s it for this week’s episode of the show. If you found this helpful, I would really appreciate if you would tell your friends about it and just send them the link to sign up to the newsletter as well because
The more we talk about these challenges, the more we empower each other. So again, it’s lucygarnon.com forward slash newsletter, or you can just grab the link to the podcast and send it to as many women in leadership as you can, because I guarantee you there’s going to be so many of them that are going to be so grateful to number one, have heard the tips in this episode, but more importantly, to know that they’re not alone. Okay. We’ve got to build this community ladies together. We don’t have to do this together.
So just as a final wrap up, I shared with you at the start about the meeting with those men, my old boss and a colleague. And what I really learned about myself that day is that I’m not a girl who was afraid to stand up for myself. And that has really served me as a past people pleaser. It’s really served me in my business as well, because even when I’m dealing with, I speak with a lot of executives, you know, when I’m going to work in their companies and things.
And I apply all the same skills and strategies, even though they’re like, just like you, I’m dealing with people who essentially can say yes or no to me for investment. It’s the same, exactly the same for you. But I don’t go in with an energy of, my gosh, like I can’t do anything with these people or I’m afraid. Absolutely not. Right. You’ve got to remember you’re valuable. You’re there to support them and you deserve to be treated fairly. And I promise you, standing up for yourself.
Lucy Gernon (20:24.202)
always pays off in the long run. And finally, I’m going to leave you with this. Remember, dominant energy is just noise. It does not define your value or your worth. So stay calm, stand firm, own your power. And don’t forget, I’ll be sharing those three mantras in this week’s Sunday night newsletter. So just head over to lucygarner.com forward slash newsletter and we’ll pop the link in the show notes. Until next week.
Bye for now, take care.
Want more actionable tips?
Have a listen to episode #121 - Boys Club Decoded: Inside the Mind of Men with Pat Divilly