Lucy Gernon (00:02.062)
Today I’m doing something super exciting that I’ve never done before. I have released a five part mini series on the podcast, all on the five big mistakes that many high achieving women in leadership make. Now today is the very first episode where we’re going to be diving into this one thing that might just be costing you your marriage. So be sure to listen in. It’s going to be a short episode, but it’s definitely going to be thought provoking.
Lucy Gernon (00:29.816)
Hello there, lovely lady, and welcome to the first episode in a powerful new five part mini series on the 360 Leadership Podcast. I am Lucy Gardiner, your host, and over the next five days, I am dropping an episode every single day because I really want to share with you the five mistakes that so many smart, capable women in senior leadership are still making in 2025. And these are the ones that are silently holding you back from the life and the leadership.
and career that you really want and deserve. Now, today we’re going to be taken into mistake number one. And I have to be vulnerable here and say that I’m calling this out because I made it myself and it nearly cost me my marriage, my mental health and moments that I’ll never get back for my children. So this episode is all about putting work above your health, your family and yourself and why, even if it feels notable or noble or
necessary, it is honestly the biggest trap of them all. Because if you’ve ever found yourself replying to emails from your kids, school, car park, or seeing your partner or one of your friends giving you a call and you choose to continue to send that email because you just don’t have the headspace to talk to family, or if you’re canceling plans to meet work deadlines or lying awake, stressing about work,
This episode is for you and definitely come back every day this week as I reveal the other mistakes that I see that are so, common. So first, I really want to talk about the high achieving sacrifice pattern. Now, full disclosure, I am just like you. I am a high achiever. I love to achieve. In fact, my number one strength in the Gallup strength profile is achieving, which is why I’m such a great coach, because if you tell me your goals, I will be there to
give you the quickest, easiest way to get there and hold you accountable because I get such a buzz from achieving. But on the downside of that, one of my biggest saboteurs in terms of my mindset is my need to achieve. Right. So it’s a double edged sword. It’s like you want to achieve, you want to do great things, you want to contribute, you want to make an impact, you want to feel like you’re contributing to something bigger than yourself. Well, I know I do anyway. But with that,
Lucy Gernon (02:55.116)
can come over functioning. And it’s something that I know that I have to definitely be aware of. And I wanted to shine a light on that with you today. So you know, you’re not alone because if over-functioning becomes part of your identity, that can be very costly. You’re reliable. You’re the fixer. You jump in to fight the fires. You’re the person who just delivers and gets things done no matter what the cost. But what’s the real cost?
Now, as an award winning businesswoman, myself, an entrepreneur, and having been in the corporate world, like I said, I’m deeply driven. But I’ve also seen and become so aware about how easy it is to let that drive take over. There have been times, especially when things get really busy in the business, where my focus on work has created a real strain on my marriage. And
I’m so self aware now that I know, I notice my emotional intelligence is quite high with myself. I always want to be better. So I do catch myself, but I do find it’s like, it’s such a pull between wanting to achieve and to be professional and to get that job satisfaction about what you’re doing in your career versus also, you know, making space for the ones that you say you’re doing it all for, right? So I know now.
actively choose to make space for my husband to nurture our relationship. And if I don’t, I feel the ripple effect. I see the look on his face when he sees me on my phone or if he pops into the office to say hi and I’m like, not now I’m working. That creates disconnection. It creates tension and a real sense of guilt for me that I’m not fully present. So it’s a conversation I wanted to bring up here on the show because it is something money high achievement women struggle with is
like stopping the drive, right? And I’ve had this conversation with my clients, too, ambitious women who love their families and partners fiercely, but feels like really like no one really gets the mental load that they carry. And the truth is, ambition does come with invisible costs and no one warns you how isolating that can feel from the ones that you love.
Lucy Gernon (05:08.062)
And I want to share a story about one of my clients, Grania, in 360 leaders club. And she was doing it all as well. Now, she never said anything about her marriage, by the way. Just a side note, OK, that is totally personal. I have no idea what was going on in her personal life. But I do know that what she shared with me was that she was constantly in meetings. She was picking up the slack. She was second guessing herself and she was sacrificing precious family time until she came to work with me. And after less than four months, she turned
everything around it dramatically. Her CEO actually commended her for restructuring and setting boundaries and saying no. And it was a huge wake up call for her. And after a few weeks, literally, she was nominated for an amazing award. She took her family to Dubai for two weeks. She’s logged off. She’s put boundaries around emails like she is literally everything is running like clockwork. That’s because she realized what she was doing. Right. And just because her family are so important to her, as is her career. Now,
Why do we even do this? Right. The thing is, is that it’s it’s not about time management. It’s actually about our identity, our conditioning and fear. And many women feel guilty for prioritizing themselves. I hear it all the time when women come. My lovely podcast listeners, when you guys come to work with me, a lot of guilt comes up about investing in yourself. Right. Because, you know, we don’t tend to prioritize ourselves until you come into my world and then you’ll be all about prioritizing yourself.
Or you might have this huge limiting belief, huge, that if you take a step back, everything is going to fall apart. But here’s what I teach inside 360. And again, we do this all of the time. It’s all about boundaries. It’s all about bringing you back when you go off track, because we do go off track, right? That’s why I create a 360.
Boundaries are not walls or structures that protect what matters most, right? You have got to set boundaries and you have to you really, really, really do. You’ve got to set boundaries or you’re going to burn out and it’s going to cost your relationships. So if you notice this kind of pattern, right, this is something to pay attention to. You might feel guilty about taking breaks. You might reward yourself with rest only after you’ve burned out and you’ve done the thing. You might not give yourself any time during the week.
Lucy Gernon (07:25.482)
And you might spend all weekend recuperating then just to get ready to do it all again, Monday to Friday, right? You might find it hard to say no, even when you’re maxed out and you’re probably getting praised for being the one who holds it all together. But it’s actually that praise and that external validation that’s keeping you stuck.
If this is you, lovely lady, please hear me. You are not failing. You’re just following an old pattern that is not serving you. And patterns can be changed. So what you can do is you can start small. Start with one percent shifts. One protected evening a week. One thing you delegate. One boundary you actually stick to.
And inside 360 Leaders Club, we coach women to design leadership rhythms that actually protect your health, your family and your ambitions because there is no role, there is no title, there is no salary, there is no accolades that are ever going to be worth your piece, that are ever going to be worth your wellbeing or ever going to be worth your time. OK, you get to do it all.
So that is the first mistake. Please don’t allow that to creep in. And if it is, don’t judge yourself. OK, don’t judge yourself. Self-awareness is the first step. Now, tomorrow I will be back and I’m going to be sharing mistake number two. Now, this is a deep rooted one. This is where we are getting deep and dirty and it’s exhausting. This thing like it is exhausting. And if you’re doing this thing, it’s most likely if you’re feeling overworked or overlooked.
It’s why you are feeling that way. But tomorrow we’re going to begin to shift that. So come back again tomorrow. We’ll be releasing the episodes. See you tomorrow. Same time, same place. 7am. Bye for now. See you tomorrow.
