5 Signs Self-Doubt Is Quietly Sabotaging Your Senior Leadership Career

Lucy (00:00)
So today I want to talk to you about something that’s costing many women leaders far more than they realize. And that thing is self-doubt. And the tricky thing about self-doubt is that it doesn’t usually show up as panic or insecurity. In fact, it often disguises itself as professionalism, as preparation, humility, being a team player. But underneath it all, it is quietly holding you back.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about in this week’s episode of the Lucy Gernon Show. So I hope that you are enjoying this season. I am loving producing this for you and bringing on some experts. So if you haven’t already listened to Brian Penny’s episode or the other episodes that have been on before this one, go back and listen to the start of this season because there are some really, really good nuggets in this whole thing.

And if you’re watching on YouTube, you’re gonna see that I have my lovely 360 litre slob t-shirts on. I hope that you like them. I know the girls on 360. If you’re watching, you know, if you want one, just let me know because we’re looking at our our gifting for our members right now. So I just said I’d wear it today because it’s actually really warm. But side note, I hope you’re all keeping well. And I’m looking forward to talking to you a little bit more about this whole area of self-doubt holding you back.

Because when you realize that you have so much more control than you give yourself credit for, that’s when everything will change for you. So let me just set the scene before I get into the five signs and share a personal story. So for those of you who don’t know me, I was working in the corporate world like for many, many, many years, almost two decades. I have a master’s degree in science. I had a research master’s in biotechnology and

Back then I was running like really, really busy, busy departments in quality operations. And before I left the industry to found my company, 360 Leadership right now, I was leading a capital project for the site I was working at, which was, I think it was like a $50 million project. So it was a big deal that I was leading this. There was, you know, team all over the world, different stakeholders, contractors, you know, the shoot and shebang. And you’re dealing with multiple stakeholders when you’re

Dealing with a capital project on a site, you’re dealing with above site, you’re dealing with people on site, you’re dealing with budgets, you’re dealing with like the full spectrum of people. And I remember I was sitting in a boardroom reviewing plans, and I was surrounded by male engineers and women. So I was the only female on the team, and I was the lead of the team, which was quite interesting. I absolutely loved it actually. And we were discussing the budget. So you know yourself when you have budgets and you’re in corporate.

The numbers are always looked at, and rightfully so, right? It’s a business. And everyone was really aligned with what we were we were discussing. But I knew there was a problem. So, in the design that we had looked at, we were designing a brand new building that was going to support the future of the site for not only for the laboratory operations that were going to be built into it, but it was also going to be a hub for a lot of the administration staff and

There was all these really nice buildings going in. So anyway, long story short, I had worked. If anyone who’s listened to this has been on a pharmaceutical manufacturing site or works there or MedTech or somewhere that’s manufacturing, you’ll know that they’re just gray and boring, right? They’re gray and boring, and you know, they have to be clean rooms and yada yada yada, all of that stuff.

But the main hub of any workplace to me has to have daylight.

Now, for those of you who are not in a manufacturing industry, you might be going, well, obviously an office needs daylight. Not in a lot of plants. And it’s because they use bog standard designs that they rinse and repeat over and over and over again. Now, if you know me, you know that I care a lot about human performance. And we know from all the research that if humans want to flourish, we need sunlight. It’s the most basic thing. We need to feel it’s to do with your circadian rhythm, it’s to do with your creativity.

We know that colour and nature and all of these things boosts innovation. There’s like tons of data out there. But when you’re dealing with

men who are not looking at that and they’re purely looking at the engineering side, they’re purely looking at the numbers. They are not actually thinking, they’re thinking about delivering a project. They were not thinking about the future of the site, which is where I was thinking. I was thinking this needs to be a place where people can come to work, do their best work, it needs to be built for high performance.

And I really was was strict on the fact that I was not budging on the fact that any workroom where somebody was spending a significant period of time had to have natural light. So of course they told me it wasn’t possible. And everyone pushed back. We didn’t have the budget. The architects, the engineers, the finance team. And I remember sitting there thinking, okay, maybe they’re right. I should maybe just get back in my box. And there’s no one, no other sites like this that I’ve seen that I’m trying to design. But I also knew

That my data supported the position. I had done my research and I knew intuitively, because I had lived and breathed in those rooms for a long time. And I know how difficult it is to work in that environment when you go into work in the dark and you’re leaving work in the dark, like it’s not great. So I knew that it was possible without compromising the budget, because there’s always a way if people just don’t they’re just talking all that. I’m like, no, we can find a way to do this. This is a non negotiable. So I took a deep breath.

I reminded myself of my data and I repeated some of my most favourite affirmations before I spoke. Now there was testosterone flying around, there were sparks going around the room, but I knew that I was right and I cared about the people and the future of the performance of the site far more than I cared about trying to get this project done on time and on budget because I knew we could still do that. They just needed to listen to me. So

I went in with a really strong confident energy into that conversation. I’m looking at engineers and architects who are with the company 30 years who are looking at me, you know, and I was like, I know I’m right in this one. And that moment really taught me something important, which is that self-doubt can get the most loud whenever we need to trust ourselves most. So if you ever feel like you’re doubting yourself, it is a call to grow. And in my instance,

I was able to get exactly what I want, and I still drive by that building on occasion and I look at it and I just go, I’m really glad I was able to leave that legacy that people get to see the daylight. So that’s my invitation for you is that if you feel like you’re doubting yourself, please know it’s doesn’t mean you shy away. It’s actually a call to grow. But how do you know if you’re doubting yourself? How does it manifest? Let’s get into it.

The first sign that your self-doubt is starting to sabotage your career acceleration is you over-prepare, but you under-explain. So let me explain what I mean by that.

You might spend hours thinking about and ruminating conversations that you need to have, that other people spend minutes thinking about. You may over-prepare slides for presentations.

You may have so much detail, you may have backup slides. But here’s the thing is if you are over preparing, you are going down a rabbit hole of a spiral of data that is so intertwined like a matrix, you can’t see the wood for the trees. And so when you’re faced with presenting your business case or your update to busy executives or board members or investors, whatever the case may be, your message most likely isn’t landing.

Because you’ve prepared so much, you have forgotten to come up out of the weeds and get back to first principles. And what happens? You lose your power. And when you underexplain and your point does not land, you know they’re making decisions, right? They’re forming opinions of you all of the time. And every time you show up in those rooms, they are further cementing that. So whether that’s good or bad.

The second sign then is.

That you wait to be noticed. You assume that your work should speak for itself. If you’re anything like most women leaders, we like to work hard, we were taught to do so, we care, we want to deliver, all of that. And you assume if you just deliver that it’s so obvious that you are working your behind off and that your work should speak for itself. So you keep your head down, you do the doing, you stay invisible, you deflect to somebody else.

You give credit to your team and you really just hope that somebody recognizes your contribution.

that sound familiar?

The third sign then is that you question your decisions afterwards. So you go in, the meeting ends, and everybody else moves on. But you’re there replaying every sentence. Did I say the right thing? I was forced to make a decision in front of everybody. Is it the right decision?

Or maybe worse, you couldn’t make a decision, and now you have all of this pressure to make a decision, and you’re getting those looks from those people because your team are slowing down this thing that’s so important. If you’re questioning your abilities or questioning or doubting your decisions, that’s another sign that self-doubt is sabotaging you. Sign number four is you hold back when the stakes get high in important rooms.

Let me be very clear with you. I say this to you over and over. If you’re listening to my podcast, you are a high performer. I know this because this would be so boring to normal people, right? You are into developing yourself. You have so much value to give. You have experience, you have perspective, you have information and knowledge that other people in the room do not have. But you don’t say it.

Or you wait till somebody else says it first. Or you say it with discounting language. It’s something we talk about in 360 all the time, the power of language and how you say things and the words you say matter. So if you say things like, Can I just say or this is probably a stupid idea or like does that make sense? You are losing your power and people can see it a mile away. So we gotta stop that.

And sign number five that self-doubt is sabotaging you is you assume, just like I did, that others knew more than you, even when the evidence suggests otherwise. You might deflect to others, especially those who have more credentials or more experience, or maybe they’re a bigger title, and you ignore your own intuition because you make an assumption that somebody else is better than you. Now what if they weren’t?

How might you show up differently? Because that is where we want to get to. So there are five signs. Which ones do you resonate with? Let me know in send me a DM on LinkedIn or Instagram. Let me know what you’re taking away from this episode. Is it sign number one that you over prepare and underdeliver? Is it sign number two that you wait to be noticed and hope that your work speaks for itself? Is it sign number three that you question your decisions afterwards? Question yourself.

Sign number four, you hold back when the stakes are high in important rooms. Or sign number five, you assume that others know more than you, especially if they have a bigger title or more experience. Now, I know these signs as I used to be like this too, until I did the work on and for myself. Does it mean that self doubt never pops up for me and my clients? Hell no, of course it does. We are all human. But when you have tools and support

And somebody like me in your corner to remind you of how bloody amazing you are, you will not be long about shaking that off because this is exactly what I help women with in 360 Leaders Club. if you’re you’re like, what’s this? Go to my website, lucygarland.com forward slash 360, and you can join the wait list. It is my professional development program that you get access to when you join the most amazing community of women in senior leadership.

all who are working on developing themselves to lead with confidence so that they can live with more balance and achieve their potential. The doors are closed right now as you are listening to this episode. So you can go and get on the wait list. So just go to lucygernon.com forward slash 360. Now one of my members is a Fortune 100 executive. She had global responsibility, huge influence, huge responsibility. She was a mom as well. She was an eldest child, like me. Only other eldest children out there.

Yet she joined my programme because despite everything, her confidence was at an all-time low because she had had some confidence knocks. And she wasn’t advocating for herself. She wasn’t making herself visible. And when she joined 360, within months, she was being sought out for strategic initiatives. She won a major industry award. She was being flown over to the US from her site in Ireland to

Give her strategic input into the most senior critical strategic projects for this company, which was a huge, huge company. And the capability was always there. She always had it. She just didn’t have the confidence. So I want you to hear me when I say this. You know, I speak to women all the time who think that you’re alone and you’re absolutely not. There’s nothing wrong with you. But you’re you’re keeping yourself stuck in self-doubt. So if you want.

accelerate your career. If you, you know, if you’re like me, you have more years behind you than you do ahead of you. So isn’t it time that you stop playing small? Because I really think it is. And here’s the thing that I’m gonna leave you with. Self-doubt is not about, you know, making you humble. it’s about making you smaller than you need to be. And the people around you, they honestly do not benefit from that version of you at all. Your team doesn’t benefit from you playing small.

They’re looking at you. You’re a role model for them. Show them how to lead. Your organization doesn’t benefit because you’re sitting on ideas that could actually solve problems way faster. Your family don’t benefit because they get the version of you that’s left over at the end of the workday. Your friends don’t benefit because they don’t see you anymore, because you’re too important now and you’re too busy. And ultimately, you don’t benefit. Because what’s the point in

Getting the job, getting the title, if when you get there, you’re going to allow your mindset and self-doubt to sabotage you. And it really doesn’t have to be that way. It really, really, really, really doesn’t. So if today’s episode hit an arve with you and you want to start to build your self-confidence, your self-belief, and get rid of all of this imposter syndrome, let’s go and download my belief boost method. It is in my guide if you go to lucygarn.com forward slash imposter.

In there, you’ll find my five-step belief boost method. And there’s some lovely exercises that you can do to begin to boost your self-belief and your confidence. Now, here’s the thing: most of you listen to this won’t do it. Or you might download the guide and you won’t bother opening it because you’re too busy. That’s exactly what’s keeping you stuck, right? If you want to see changes, you’ve got to be ready, you’ve got to be committed to doing the work on and for yourself.

And I promise you, if you give yourself just a small bit of time to do exercises like the belief boost method that you’re going to get in my imposter syndrome guide, and just do the work every single week, you will absolutely change your life. So you can get the link in the show notes or head over to lucygernon.com forward slash imposter. And above all, lovely lady, please, please, please. Life is so so short. Believe in yourself. If we haven’t met yet, I care about you.

And I believe in you. And if nobody’s told you lately, I think you’re doing a great job. But it doesn’t have to be as difficult as you make it. So that is it for this week’s episode of the show. I hope that you’re enjoying it. If you enjoyed today’s episode or you know somebody, another female leader who struggles with her self-doubt, please forward her on this show. I hear it from so many women who tell me they didn’t know about it and then they binge, listen to it, and it really, really helps so many women leaders.

Know I do share a lot of tools and other episodes. You can go back and find like there’s a couple of hundred episodes before I change the name. It was called the 360 Leadership Podcast. Before that, it was called the Powerhouse Revolution podcast. So you can go back, there’s tons of content there. There’s tips on managing your micromanager boss, there’s stuff on presentations. There’s so many amazing guests as well. So literally go back through the episodes and just binge and find whichever ones that you want. but above all, yeah, I would really appreciate if you could help me to share the show.

and tell everyone about it because I think more women leaders need to know that you’re not alone and how you’re feeling. And if my little pep talks and my little tools can help, you know, even one new woman listen to this every single day, I would be very happy. So thank you for doing that for me. Until next time, same time, same place. Bye for now.