#30 3 Steps to Stop Being Defensive at Work

The 360 Leadhership Podcast, Episode 30, 20 July 2022 by Lucy Gernon

Do you find yourself being defensive, flying off the handle or showing your impatience at work?

Do you feel misunderstood?

Do you end up feeling excluded from the group, only to later worry about what you’ve said?

Defensiveness comes from your ego. It is not the real you. It is that part of you that does not like to be offended and will defend you at all costs.

Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth says “One way to think about ego is as a protective heavy shell, such as the kind some animals have, like a big beetle. This protective shell works like armour to cut you off from other people and the outside world”

Your true self never benefits when the ego comes out to play. Your true self is that part of you that suffers in the aftermath of the ego.

When the dust settles and your ego retreats, your true self is that part of you that has to clean up the mess.

By following the 3 steps in this episode, you can begin to curb your defensiveness

This episode at a glance:

[02:01] Where does your defensiveness come from?

[03:40] 3 steps to stop being defensive

[08:15] Discover what triggers you to react in this way

[09:36] How to separate yourself from your negative reaction

If you found this valuable, listen to this episode we KNOW you’ll love: #017 How to Manage Stress at Work with Life Coach Mark Fennell