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Welcome to the powerhouse Revolution Podcast. I’m Lucy Gernon, ex corporate leader turned CEO of my dream business, helping corporate female leaders just like you to create your dream career and life. At 40 I quit the corporate world as I was tired of doing a job that no longer led me up and wanted to live my life my way. I created the power house Revolution podcast, to give you simple, actionable tips and strategies to help you create the perfect career and lifestyle that you and your family deserve. So if you’re a corporate female leader or manager who is ready to step into her superpowers and live the life you were born to live, you are definitely in the right place, because life is way too short to dread Mondays. Okay, let’s jump into today’s episode.
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Hello there, and welcome back to another episode of the Powerhouse Revolution podcast. I hope you’re having a great day, wherever you are. I’m just back from Los Angeles, I was in LA for a week for a man amazing business retreat with my mastermind group. I’m not my own mastermind, but I’m part of a mastermind with my coach. And it was just the most amazing experience, it was just so up leveling, so good to just step away from the day to day. And as you’re recording this, it’ll be in a few weeks time. But I’m just kind of reflecting on I suppose the importance of stepping away every now and again out of the day to day away from your normal scenery, just to really think about where you’re going in your life and your career. And it was just so so good. But while I was over in LA, I had a call with my own mastermind group. So as you probably have heard me talk about I have a mastermind group called the powerhouse elite mastermind. And it’s for women from director to executive level. And the reason I started this community was because I was hearing from money women at that level, you know, the higher you climb up the corporate ladder, the lonelier it becomes. And I was finding, especially with my one to one clients that when they were finished working with me, they were looking for more. And what was missing for them was really that sense of accountability, that sense of community and a safe space to continue to learn and to grow and work on their own professional and personal development. And the mastermind is going super, super well. And the ladies just are fabulous. They’re supporting each other, I have the most fabulous guest experts coming in. And yeah, it’s all just going super well. So if you’re interested in learning more about that, just just DM me the word elite, and I can share all the details. But while I was in LA, and we had one of our calls, one thing came up on one of the calls one of the ladies and I wanted to share this with you because it’s something that I would definitely come across a lot. And that is how to separate the personal you from the professional you and not take critique to hurt. So one of the ladies was saying asking the question that she had got some critique, and she was finding it really difficult, as opposed to not to take it to heart. She was taking it very personally. And she was seeing it as a reflection of her work or her worth. And it got me thinking that when I worked in the corporate world, I definitely struggled with constructive feedback because I was linking so much like I gave my heart and soul. When I worked in the corporate world, I gave everything because when I’m all in, I’m all in. Can you relate to that? You know, it wasn’t just a job. It was like a felt like a vocation, I wanted to make a difference. And when I worked in the pharmaceutical industry in particular, the patient is at the core of everything that we do in the pharmaceutical industry and in the healthcare industry. So everything I was doing, I was just thinking of people who are sick, and I didn’t want to disappoint my boss. And I gave it 110% like 99% of the time. So when I used to receive critique or constructive feedback, I took it pretty personally, until I realized that actually, it was just a job. So that’s what I wanted to kind of talk to you about today that if you find it difficult to separate your sense of self and like the professional you from the personal view. I’m just going to go through a few little tips with you now. So the first thing is, I want you to realize that it’s not you, it’s the job. So if you get constructive feedback, it is not a reflection on you as a person. It is just merely some feedback on the job that you have done or the how you’ve handled the situation. So it’s definitely not a reflection on you. You are your sense of self. And something that really was a game changer for me in being able to, I suppose separate my sense of self. And if you’re multitasking come back to me is that you need to remember that you need to give your brain to the business, and keep your heart and soul for yourself. So I’m going to say that again, give your brain to the business, and keep your heart and soul for yourself and your loved ones. What do I mean by that? I mean that it is so easy to take things personally at work, when you are giving your heart and soul. Giving your heart and soul looks like caring so much that you don’t bother going to the toilet, caring so much that you eat your lunch at your desk, caring so much that you work 70 hours a week, that is where you are literally pouring your heart and your soul. And you’re doing you’re for a company that does not have the ability to love you back. Your company cannot love you back because it is an entity, it is a corporation, it is a conglomerate of people like who even is the boss, it is impossible to tell because there’s so many stakeholders. So I think it’s really, really important for you, if you want to stop taking critique personally, is to separate your sense of self, from your company. And also to remember that your company has hired you for your mind, not your heart. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am the most empathetic, heart centered person that you’ll probably ever meet. And I do believe that, absolutely, you need to continue that. But just don’t give all of your heart and soul to your company. Okay. The other thing I would say is, it’s really important. And again, I would see this a lot with women who would come to me if they’re burnt out, or they’re lacking confidence is that they don’t know who they are outside the work. So who are you outside your work, aside from being a leader, and aside from being a successful, ambitious driven woman who has achieved and who has all the technical qualifications, who has done the projects, all of that? Who are you outside of all of that. And that’s also important for you to understand. Because once you if you identify as only as being the leader of the in your organization, or only as being a mother or only as being whatever, when there is critique, then it is very, very easy for you to take that to heart because your entire identity is wrapped up in your job. So I just want you to stay even just to reflect on like who am I without without my work? And sometimes that can be a really, really difficult question to answer for yourself. But it’s time to maybe do some soul searching if that’s the case. The other thing I would say is that when you do get critique is you need to think about what exactly or what specifically is triggering you. So is it the tone of voice that the person delivered it in? Is it the actual delivery of of what was said, you know, is it the actual person who gave it to you, like, even just get curious with yourself, if somebody is giving you constructive feedback or critique about something you’ve done? What specifically is triggering you? And that’s something I would encourage you to journal on, because it’s probably not going to come out in the in the in the initial response to that question, you need to go a little bit deeper. So what you need to start doing then is like listening, listening to the critique, listening to the feedback, and this is something that came up in the mastermind group, which was so good is that when, when things were in my own mastermind, when my ladies had problems, it’s so good to hear all the different perspectives. And what a couple of the ladies said, Well, I mean, when I receive constructive feedback, or critique, I listen, because I know what’s going to make me get better. And that is so so true. So it’s about learning to listen without your ego being ignited and without getting defensive. Because when your ego pops up, you are literally going to come across as looking frustrated, you’re going to look across is not open. And it’s really important that you do listen doesn’t mean you have to take it on board, but at least get curious about what the person is telling you and ask yourself, is there some truth to this? Could I have handled things differently? And if I had to handle things differently, what might have been the outcome? So it’s just really important that you actually try to remove your ego and hear what’s being said. You are doing your best. I know you are doing your best. I know you show up to work every single day for the most part, even on days where you have your period or your menopausal when you don’t want to and you do your damn best. Okay? And sometimes it’s not going to be perfect and without constructive feedback and without critique we cannot and proof. For example, just last week, I had sent out a survey to my mastermind group to ask the ladies like, How can I enhance your experience? How can I be better, and there were definitely some constructive things in there that I can work on, I could choose to allow that to, you know, make me go, Oh, my God, it didn’t get a perfect, which is what I used to do. Whereas now I’m some of the ladies were just saying that sometimes they wish that they had access to more resources. So I just decided to give them all access to my private one to one and the powerhouse Leaders Academy for free. Because had I not ask the question, I wouldn’t have been able to support him further. So it’s really important that you seek out feedback, because if you want to be the best, if you want to be the best version of you, if you want to learn the lessons that life is teaching you, you are not going to do that within your own mind, you’re only going to do that by listening to other people and to learning from the experiences that are happening to you.
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But if you are struggling with your self worth, which can be I mean, I’ve been there, I know how challenging that is, first of all, I can absolutely help you there. So if you are struggling with your self esteem or your confidence, please just don’t be afraid to DM me and we can hop on a call and I can listen to your challenges, and I can share how I can support you. But what you want to do is you want to start building your self worth even by doing things like daily affirmations are super, super powerful, because it’s been scientifically proven that when you repeat positive affirmations to yourself on a daily basis, you can literally form new neural pathways that are hardwired into your brain to begin to believe those things about yourself. Okay. And so that’s kind of everything. I think I wanted to say on that. But like, if you, I suppose to close if you want to level up, and if you want to progress to the next level, or you want to increase your impact and be seen as a great leader, you have to learn and you have to be open to feedback and get really curious. Curiosity is going to be your best tool when it comes to feedback. Instead of making assumptions that you understand what the person is saying. Just get really curious and ask them. Like what specifically do you mean by that? Can you tell me more? Can you tell? Share what what you saw that maybe I didn’t see? Can you share how I might have handled it better. So just get curious, because actually, that’s a gift. Like feedback is a gift. And if you listen to it, you can really, really improve as a person. The other thing then just finally to say is that is specifically if it’s your boss. So I know if you are, you know, a high achiever and you’re ambitious on your you know, you want to do well, your boss’s opinion of you is going to be super important, right? Because they hold the key to unlocking potential opportunities for you in the future, they can block you from moving places. So it is important, I suppose to listen to your boss. But I know again, that the ego can pop up where you do get that critique, especially if you give your heart and soul. But I want you just to try to see where your boss is coming from. And maybe try understand where pressures are coming from for them and what they’re being asked of from other people. So you only see everything through your eyes, but you need to kind of come up and try and put yourself into your boss’s shoes and see okay, well what might be influencing my boss? Where might this feedback be coming from? What’s my role in helping my boss achieve their goals? And that’s exactly what you want to be doing is asking your boss things like what do you need from me to help you get where you want to be? Because ultimately, that is your role your role is to deliver for the company. And because your boss is obviously at a more senior level, they’re going to have more of a bird’s eye view. So it’s just about being collaborative, and realizing it’s not about you and your ability. It’s just business. So if you’re multitasking, come back to me, it’s not about you and your abilities. It’s just business. So remember, give your brain to the business. And keep the majority of your heart and soul for yourself for your loved ones for your passions, because your company my friend is not going to love you back. So that is it. For today’s episode, I would like you to reflect on this. I would like you to take out a pen and paper and do some journaling. If this has resonated with you and ask yourself, how might I receive feedback in the future? How might I see it differently so that I can actually use it to improve? How might I give a little bit more of my heart and soul to myself instead of all the business. So I will leave you with that thought and if you are interested in joining my mastermind group or any one to one support, please just email hello@lucygernon.com And we can have a chat or you can just See me on Instagram or in LinkedIn. I absolutely love supporting women in leadership. I love being there to be that soundboard to be that mentor, to be that coach to help you become who you were born to be because I know there is so much more that you can give. So on that note, I’m going to let you go have a great rest of your day and I will talk to you again same time, same place next week.
