You Got the VP Promotion, So Why Do You Still Feel Like You’re Going to Be Found Out?

Lucy (00:00:03)
You got the VP promotion. You’re sitting on the executive team. You might even report directly into the CEO. You have the experience, you have the results, you have a team underneath you. And the company clearly believes that you can do the job because hello, they gave you the bloody, bloody job. So why is there still a part of you that’s sitting in that executive meeting thinking, What if they ask me something I don’t know? What if I get this wrong? Or what if I say something stupid?

What if all these very polished, seasoned people around the table suddenly realize that maybe I’m not quite at their level? What if I get found out? If this landed a little too close to home, lovely lady, this is the episode for you because in this week’s episode of the Lucy Gernon Show, I am breaking all of this down. Because imposter syndrome at executive level doesn’t always look like somebody sitting quietly in the corner, lacking confidence. Sometimes it looks like over-preparing, over-explaining.

Knowing every single detail, putting 20, 40 slides into a deck when maybe three would do. Talking and talking because if you fill the space, ⁓ nobody gets the opportunity to ask you a question that you’re terrified you won’t know the answer to. And today I want to talk about what’s actually going on underneath all of that. Because if you’ve got the title but you’re still constantly trying to prove that you deserve it, your leadership identity may not have caught up with your career just yet. So let’s get into today’s episode.

Lucy (00:01:32)
Hi there and welcome back to another episode of the Lucy Gernon Show. We are here on season three, and my goodness, what a wild few months it’s been. I haven’t been podcasting since before the summertime, and now the kids are back at school. We are, you know, we’re in Q4. I just thought it was time to get back in and come back into your earbuds. So thank you so much. If you haven’t already subscribed to the show, please make sure that you do share with all your female leader friends as well so that you never miss an episode. Now, today we’re going to talk about something that I see.

All the time with incredibly capable women in senior leadership. And I mean incredibly capable, high performers. These are not women who somehow blagged their way into a big job. They’re VPs, they’re senior directors, they’re country leaders, general managers, female founders, women who are sitting ⁓ in executive team meetings reporting to the CEOs. Some of the women are CEOs. Women who’ve spent 15, 20

sometimes twenty five years, building their expertise and their reputations, and then they get into the room that they have worked so hard to get into, and suddenly there’s this voice. Do I really belong here? Are they more experienced than me? Should I know that? Why didn’t I think of that? Did I talk too much? Did I sound stupid? ⁓ Was I strategic enough? I wonder what the CEO thought.

And God forbid you walk out of a meeting where somebody challenges you or asks you a question you can’t immediately answer. Because I know that sometimes you might spend the next three days replaying the bloody thing in your head. And what is fascinating to me is that the more experienced and high performing and senior you are, the less obvious imposter syndrome can look. Because you may not look nervous. You may actually look incredibly confident, and you might know more about your function than

Anybody else in the room. But underneath that confidence, there might be this constant need to validate your position, to prove ⁓ I know my stuff, I deserve this role. ⁓ And you made the right decision promoting me. ⁓ And here’s what I ⁓ want to help you to recognize today. That’s exactly what it is, right? And now before we get into this, I want to share that I have a free guide on imposter syndrome. So if you’re listening today and you’re going, Jesus Lucy, this sounds like me. ⁓

Lucy (00:03:53)
Go and grab it at lucygernon.com/imposter And inside the free guide, you’re going to discover the neuroscience back method to stop that postmeeting spiral in literally less than five minutes with one of my clients’ favorite tools. You’ll also understand how to walk into high-stakes conversations with less second guessing and the simple system that helps to rewire imposter syndrome fast. So I’ll link it in the show notes or head over to lucygernon.com/imposter

Because we are breaking patterns today. We absolutely have to. Okay. Okay, so let me just collect my thoughts for a second.

I was coaching a very, very senior ⁓ female leader recently. Senior in title, not senior in age. Fabulous woman, vivacious, ⁓ smart, talented. She was in a new executive role and she was reporting directly to the CEO, if I remember correctly. So she’s sitting in this executive team of very experienced C-suite leaders and she had received some fairly robust feedback around her executive presence and how she was showing up in the room because she was

Talking too much, giving too much information, maybe coming across as defensive. ⁓ And what I loved about her is that she recognized this feedback as an area to improve. So that’s the first thing is that when you get feedback, it is not proof that you’re not good enough. It is proof that you have an area for development. And guess what? We all do. So when we started unpacking it together, she said something I thought was so interesting. So what she kind of essentially said was.

Look, nobody actually thinks I’m rubbish at my job. And that’s the point, is that her content was good, her results were good, her team were performing. The feedback around her actual performance was really good, and her CEO was really supportive of her, and so were her peers. ⁓ And her company actually invested in her development because they really wanted her to succeed. So there was very little external evidence that suggested that she, you know, was an imposter or wasn’t good enough.

Lucy (00:05:57)
But internally, she was having a very different experience. So she described to me how she would get nervous going into that environment. So sometimes she would over talk and overshare. Sometimes she would go quiet, sometimes she’d babble. These are her words, not mine. ⁓ And when we dug into why we got into the thing underneath all of it, it was that she was trying to avoid being put in a position where she was asked a question that she didn’t know the answer to.

Because the very thought of her sitting there and somebody asking something that she couldn’t answer made her feel really vulnerable, really like exposed. Maybe that’s where the imposter syndrome coming. And I’m wondering if you recognize that too. Because I know I used to be like that. ⁓ And even in my own business, when I pivoted careers and I went from working in science and pharma to into leadership development, I mean, imposter syndrome was crazy for me. But what I’ve always found is when you lean into vulnerability and own what you don’t know.

And really own what you do know, people respect that because there’s not a person on earth, there’s not a high achiever on earth, for that matter, that doesn’t have a little bit of self-doubt. And nobody knows the answers to everything. And you can be incredibly confident in your expertise and still feel deeply insecure in your identity at the next level. And those two things get to exist side by side. It’s not this or that. So you can think things like, I know this business.

Better than anyone else. I know I can deliver. ⁓ And I’m not sure I belong at the table. And this is a really horrible and conflictive place to lead from because now every interaction can start feeling like a test and every presentation becomes like a performance ⁓ review. And every question becomes an opportunity that you might find out. And every piece of feedback starts carrying far more meaning than it probably should. So instead of somebody simply saying, I need more information on this.

Your brain hears, you should have known this. And instead of somebody challenging something that you’ve brought, your brain hears, ⁓ well, they don’t think you’re capable. And instead of not knowing one answer, your brain goes, see, maybe I’m not ready for this level, told you so. And here’s the thing, lovely lady. And if you’re multitasking, please come back to me. That is not ⁓ reality. Right? That is not reality.

Lucy (00:08:16)
And one of the biggest shifts that I invite you to make as you become more senior is learning how to separate what actually happened, ⁓ facts, from the story your inner critic immediately creates about what happened. Because you getting challenged doesn’t mean you don’t belong. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to get found out. It doesn’t mean that you don’t know the answer. And being newer than anyone around the table doesn’t mean you don’t belong. And feeling uncomfortable at this next level doesn’t mean any of it. It’s just that this is all new. Okay. ⁓ Now I want to talk about.

That imposter syndrome and ⁓ this kind of common mixed misconception that imposter syndrome means you’re frail or you’re weak or you show up like without confidence. ⁓ And I think this is where it gets really, really interesting. Because when we imagine, well, certainly when I imagine somebody with imposter syndrome, we often imagine somebody who’s ⁓ shying away or not speaking or not putting themselves forward or perhaps looking visibly nervous. And yes, of course, it can manifest in that way.

But do you know what else imposter syndrome can look like? Perfectionism, overachievement, overworking, control, over preparation, over explaining, having to know absolutely bloody everything, talking too much, getting defensive when somebody challenges you, not wanting to ⁓ you know, give your team opportunities in case they might steal your position. And this is why it can be so sneaky, because imposter syndrome.

Is insecurity. And ⁓ from the outside, people might think, God, she’s so confident. While inside you’re thinking, my God, please just don’t ask me something I don’t know. Like, what if I don’t know this number? It’s in here somewhere. And this lady that I spoke to you about that I was coaching describes something that I think so many of you will recognize ⁓ is that she would get a slot to present her topic and she’d prepare loads of slides and then fill the time talking ⁓ and talking and talking.

Why? Because she felt that if she filled the space, there was less opportunity for somebody to put her on the spot. ⁓ And what was really going on underneath all of that was, I need to make sure you know what I’m that I know what I’m doing. Like look at my data, look at my knowledge, look at my slides, how beautiful they are. Look at how across everything I am, but please don’t question whether I belong here. And I really invite you to think about this. ⁓

Lucy (00:10:42)
Where are you using detail to create safety? Where are you using preparation and perfectionism to create safety? Where are you using busyness to create safety? Where are you ⁓ holding on to things that your team could probably own? Because you being involved in every detail makes you feel more credible.

And this lady said something to me that really struck. She said, Lucy, the detail is my safe place. And Jesus, like how many high achievers is this true for? I was exactly the same. ⁓ And I can be exactly the same at certain times. And I have to catch myself and I always tell myself, less is more. The more detail I find myself wanting to add, I have to go less as more.

But detail is your safe place. Of course it is, because it’s probably the detail that got you promoted. It’s knowing your stuff that got you there. You were rewarded for knowing your shit, for being reliable, for spotting what everybody else missed, for fixing things, for having those answers, for being that person who is reliable. And then you get promoted again, and suddenly the business doesn’t need you to know 50 pieces of information. It needs you to be able to focus on the right stuff. That ⁓ one

missing piece of information that actually matters. ⁓ That being able to, you know, cut through the noise to actually see what’s underneath all the detail, to see the bigger picture, to look at it from a, you know, from a CEO lens as opposed to an operator lens. ⁓ And that can feel incredibly uncomfortable, especially if you’re new in in an executive position, or if you’re ⁓ in senior rooms and you’re not an executive yet, if you’re listening and you’re

You’re still resonating with what I say. I I you know it doesn’t really matter what level you’re at because it can feel really uncomfortable. Because you might be thinking, well, if I’m no longer proving my value by knowing everything, well, where does my value come from? And that ⁓ is an identity question. It’s not a PowerPoint question. It’s nothing to do with your presentation skills. It’s not a how do I stop rambling question. They’re just symptoms. So what I invite you to think about today is

Lucy (00:13:01)
What am I trying to prove when I do that? And there’s another layer to this too, because you may have been incredibly confident when you were a manager or director and you knew everyone, you knew how the organization worked, or maybe you’re even in a new company, which makes it the exposure feel even worse. Because in your past role, you had established credibility, you ⁓ understood the politics, you knew the detail.

You had the history, you were comfortable, and then suddenly you’re promoted to senior director or VP executive. And now you’re walking into a completely different room with different expectations. Maybe you’re one of the youngest, maybe you’re one of the only women in the room. Maybe everybody else has been operating at that level for years. And maybe they seem incredibly articulate, really polished. And somebody asks them a question and they give this lovely, concise, straight, grounded answer. And you’re sitting there thinking,

How the fuck did they do that? Why can’t I do that? And they look like they just know what they’re doing. And you’re sitting there mentally preparing your answer before anyone has even asked you the question. And of course, your confidence can wobble. And one phrase that actually came up in this coaching conversation was she’s like, Lucy, I feel like I almost shrink to fit in. ⁓ And I think that’s such powerful language because that’s what so many brilliant women leaders do when they get into environments with lots of energy.

dominant energy is that you play small. ⁓ And I want you to realize that you are here on this earth for a reason. You are here to make an impact. We need women leading at executive level who are role models because you are not promoted. So you be could become like some watered down version of you trying to morph in with these white men in suits. ⁓ Your difference is part of your value.

And sometimes what happens is when we shrink on one side, we overcompensate in the other. So internally you might be feeling, well, I’m not quite like them. I’m newer, I’m less seasoned. I, you know, I need to fight harder for my place. I I’m not sure if I say too much. And externally then that turns into more words, more detail, more slides, more proving, more defensiveness. Do you see the loop? So you might be doing this because you just want to prove that you belong. And the thing is, is that I invite you to think about

Lucy (00:15:29)
If I all if you already thought and believed that you belonged, ⁓ what would you show up like? And if you’re multitasking right now, please come back to me because feeling uncomfortable in a new executive environment is proof, is not proof that you’re not ready for it. ⁓ Sometimes it’s just simply proof that your nervous system and your identity just haven’t normalized the level yet. It’s new. ⁓ And you’re comparing your first year operating at this altitude.

With somebody who perhaps has been operating at that level for 10 years. And of course they look more comfortable. If you’re in a new organization, of course somebody who’s there longer is more comfortable. They’ve done the reps, right? ⁓ And that brings me to ⁓ what I think is actually underneath most much of this imposter syndrome is that when your title changed, your responsibilities changed. Your salary probably changed, which is a nice bit.

And your reporting line most likely changes as well. You may have had a team change. But did your internal identity change? Because I see this constantly. A woman becomes VP, CEO, whatever the role is, and she’s still trying to prove her value in exactly the same way she did as when she was a director or a manager. She’s still operating in the weeds, ⁓ checking everything.

Doing things that her ass her executive assistant should be doing, or somebody else in her team, still solving everything, like not being not, you know, going into all the meetings, having their instant messages open all the time, being responsive because you want to make sure they know that you’re, you know, you’re adding value. But you have a team now, possibly teams of teams. And their job is the doing. And your job at executive level is different.

And we were talking in 360 Leaders Club about this recently when I had an amazing guest expert come in as part of our C Suite masterclass series. ⁓ Her name is Marina, and she was she does a lot of work with CEOs and executive teams, and we were very lucky, like she, yeah, she she’s like multi-six figures to work with her in an organization. ⁓ And she was explaining that obviously she knows the minds of CEOs, and she was teaching our ladies how to actually think like CEOs ⁓ and what CEOs want you to be thinking about.

Lucy (00:17:48)
And one thing that came up was your leadership altitude. Because if you’re constantly operating at the le an altitude of every piece of detail, well, what are you missing up here? If you’re not watching on YouTube, I’m putting my hand in the air. If you’re not actually following me on YouTube, please subscribe and you can come over and see what I look like in in the flesh. But if you’re seriously, if you’re not ⁓ if you’re down in the weeds, you’re missing what’s ⁓ up here. You’re missing where is the business going, the vision.

What are the major risks? What are what are the things that the team are focusing on that really shouldn’t be focusing on? Because it’s not actually moving the needle. What does the CEO actually need to know so he or she can make good decisions? And what decisions need to be made ⁓ so you can progress? What’s happening, you know, if you’re in a multinational, for example, what’s happening across the enterprise? Because what you’re not seeing ⁓ is when you’re trying to hold on to those 500 pieces of of information.

Your brain is not able to be visionary. You’re not able to to obviously think at that level. So, you know, it my invitation for you is to really look at your identity and ask yourself, if I was operating at an executive level, if I if I was a CEO of this company, how would I think? How would I behave differently? And start to do that because it can feel strange. And, you know, sometimes it’s about doing less, but doing it better.

But because high achievers are so used to effort, we trust effort, we work harder, we prepare more, we know more, we stay later, we check again, and then that feels safe. But then executive leadership comes along and says, actually, I need you to add more value with less. I need one number. I don’t need detail. You need a sound bite, not the dissertation. So I suppose I’d love for you to really just sit with that.

Firstly, I want you to know that you’re absolutely not alone. But are you giving yourself the same compassion that you would if this was somebody on your team? So if one of your director ports is in a meeting ⁓ and you or somebody else was to ask them something that they don’t know, and they don’t know immediately, what do you think? Do you immediately think, my God, what a fraud? Clearly, we should never have hired her or him. Probably not. You probably think, all right.

Lucy (00:20:11)
She doesn’t have the information. She can go get that. We’ll come back to it later. It’s normal, right? Now what happens if ⁓ you don’t know the answer? ⁓ And I invite you to be truthful. Because for a lot of you, it becomes I should have known that. Why didn’t I prepare for that? Damn it, I cannot believe I didn’t think of that one thing. What did they think? God, I look stupid. I should have had that number. The list goes on, and then you’re lying awake at 2 a.m. worrying about it. You’re in the shower playing the meeting, you’re not present at home.

So, my lovely lady, can we please just stop expecting you to perform like a bloody encyclopedia? You’re not an encyclopedia, right? You’re a leader, ⁓ and leaders need to own what they know and own what they don’t know. If you don’t know something, you can get the answer. Because you need to allow everybody, you need to allow yourself to be human, just like you would for everybody else. So if this episode has resonated with you, I highly recommend that you.

Grab my imposter syndrome guide because in there, like I said, you’re going to get some great tools to be able to manage your mindset and really start to shift and look at who you are and what you bring to the table instead of what you don’t. So just head over to lucygernon.com/imposter and you can grab that guide for free. I’ll also link it in the show notes. So, ⁓ in essence, ⁓ what I invite you to take from today’s episode ⁓ is what would be different for you if you gave yourself the same.

compassion as you do to everybody else. What would be different for you if you were to walk into the room thinking and acting like a mini CEO instead of like a manager? Yes, it’s going to feel uncomfortable, but discomfort is where growth happens. And that is exactly what you have done again and again and again. You have grown, you have learned, and this is your next opportunity to grow and learn too.

So that is it for this week’s episode. I hope it’s given you food for thought. ⁓ And ⁓ the most important thing I want you to know is that you’re not alone and also you’re not a fraud. You got here on merit and you got here because your inner critic has also fueled you at every step of the way. But at your age and with your experience and at this stage of your life, wouldn’t it be nice if you weren’t so hard on yourself?

Lucy (00:22:37)
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could actually see what others see? ⁓ And like I said, the first step I would recommend go and grab that imposter syndrome guide. It would really, really, really help. And of course, as always, if you want to chat to me about working with me or anything, you can reach out to me on social media or you can go to lucygernon.com/contact and we can arrange a chat. Because success, balance, and happiness is possible when you have the right tools, the right strategies, and the right support. ⁓ So

That is it for this week’s episode of the show. Thank you so much for ⁓ tuning in today. I’m looking forward to next week already. So until then, same time, same place. Bye for now.